Help_needed Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Just after a bit of advise for my brother. My brother has three children with his ex who live in Lincolnshire with their mum. Four weeks ago my brother received a phone call from his ex telling him to collect their eldest son (14) as she could no longer cope with him & if he didn't collect him she would contact social services & have him taken into care. My brother fetched him to Sheffield to stay with him & his mum has said SHE will decide at the end of the summer holidays as to if he's allowed home or not! Currently my brother is on SSP due to hurting his back at work. So is only receiving 85 pounds a week from work compared to his usual 260 pound wage. My brother has tried discussing with his ex that he needs some financial help with supporting their son while he is up here ie (their sons portion of tax credits/child benefit). To which the response was "she feels that's cheeky as she has supported them for the last 3 years" (on benefits) up until 4 months ago when she got a job due to being put on JSA. Bearing in mind my brother has always contributed to his childrens upbringing since the split providing her with a car for them with he maintains for her & pays the car insurance & also gives the kids pocket money each week. Which is a lot more than a lot of Dads do. Anyway would anyone know where he stands? Not knowing whether his son is now with him on a permanent basis isn't helping, but surely she should be willing to help out as she is still receiving help for a child she isn't caring for? Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadingNorth Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 If the child is now living with him, he should be applying for child benefit for starters. I'd also suggest getting in touch with the Child Support Agency and asking them what the position is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Help_needed Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 Thanks for the reply! We don't know if he is living with him permanently....This is the thing his ex has said she will decide at the end of the holidays if he's going home or not. Will definitely tell him to ring the Csa though. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgksheff Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Your original post is not clear as to what child maintenance your brother has actually been paying. You just mention a car and pocket money. Under average circumstances he would have been expected to have been contributing something like £55 to £65 per week. If he wasn't paying that or it's equivalent, he may get a bit of a shock from the CSA. Avoid them if you can. They won't be interested in car costs, just hard cash. I would use the summer to keep a track of the real needs involved and then, when the time comes to decide on where he will stay, sit down with a mediator and come to a sensible agreement as to how things should go forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Kane Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Just after a bit of advise for my brother. My brother has three children with his ex who live in Lincolnshire with their mum. Four weeks ago my brother received a phone call from his ex telling him to collect their eldest son (14) as she could no longer cope with him & if he didn't collect him she would contact social services & have him taken into care. My brother fetched him to Sheffield to stay with him & his mum has said SHE will decide at the end of the summer holidays as to if he's allowed home or not! Currently my brother is on SSP due to hurting his back at work. So is only receiving 85 pounds a week from work compared to his usual 260 pound wage. My brother has tried discussing with his ex that he needs some financial help with supporting their son while he is up here ie (their sons portion of tax credits/child benefit). To which the response was "she feels that's cheeky as she has supported them for the last 3 years" (on benefits) up until 4 months ago when she got a job due to being put on JSA. Bearing in mind my brother has always contributed to his childrens upbringing since the split providing her with a car for them with he maintains for her & pays the car insurance & also gives the kids pocket money each week. Which is a lot more than a lot of Dads do. Anyway would anyone know where he stands? Not knowing whether his son is now with him on a permanent basis isn't helping, but surely she should be willing to help out as she is still receiving help for a child she isn't caring for? Thanks At 14 he will probably be asked by the authorities what HE wants and where HE wants to live anyway. Let her contact them. In the long haul it will probably aid the situation and your brother to have them know as any payments will go to him rather than her. Not being nosey but is your brother and the kids mum married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Help_needed Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 He gives the kids 10 pounds each pocket money per week & pays towards their clothes & activities they do. He also pays car insurance of 48 pounds per month. No they were not married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah Kane Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 He seems like hes contributing some. More than some ive come across in any case but thats irrelevant to the now. If it were me i think id be contacting the relevant people and getting wheels in motion right now. Theres no point in waiting for her next move as i think its clear what shell say. The x seems like a real bitch on a power trip to do what shes done but then i dont know how unmanageable the lad is so she may have had a very good reason to want him out. Still, this is a very crappy way to go about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truman Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 It's none of my business to be honest but I think a 14 year old lad needs his dad.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Help_needed Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 Does anyone know where my bro stands though? Does he not have to have him legally living with him?? Yes she's a bitch on a power trip since she got a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Help_needed Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 It's none of my business to be honest but I think a 14 year old lad needs his dad.... He has his dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.