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WELCOME HOME! (Part Deux)


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I allow the use of my bathroom for arachnoid habitation and we get along just fine, I even rescue them from the bath and only hoover disused webs off the wall.

 

Fascinating little beasties.

 

......DIRTY! :gag:

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Conkers. They don't like conkers. You'll have to wait a month but get conkers. I think it might work for horse chestnut wood as well ? Are roof joists made of it ? I've found no spiders in my atic recently. Get a powerful Hoover with a long snozzle.

 

Victory can be yours !

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My dear friends, it is indeed that time of year again.

 

Having returned joyous and refreshed from my annual holiday you can imagine the wave of melancholy that overwhelmed me when I opened my front door to discover a group of squatters had taken up residence in my chintzy mansion apartment.

 

Alas these weren't the desperate and needy from Kazakhstan, or the subjugated and harangued of Mogadishu, no these had made the precarious journey to asylum all the way from my front garden.

 

The evidence was compelling, a warning on the kitchen floor proclaiming "YOU'RE NOT WELCUM" in a spidery scrawl had indeed been created by....a spider :gag:

 

Yes my friends, those arachnoids are back but this time with a vengeance.. these are the Oxbridge educated, sumo wrestling equivalent of your common-or-garden beastie..they recline on my sofa, sipping mint juleps and listening to Noel Coward, guffawing maniacally at my paralysis of fear..Mad Dogs & Englishmen has taken on new meaning as I seek refuge in the yard, tortured under the midday sun.

 

Despite the installation of early warning radar, covert tracking systems and deterrent ultra sound devices, their numbers seem to have swelled this year and I can only put it down to them being members of a SWAT team with a difference!

 

Many of you have helped before, and I will be forever grateful to shinyhappy, norks (rip), Tess, curriechick et al, but their sage words and sympathy can do nothing to rid me of my affliction or more importantly my eight legged invaders.

 

I'm not alone in being victimised, my beautiful and elegant girlfriend (think The Hulk in a tiara) is only marginally less affected than I am, she will curl into a hysterical ball and throw pieces of large furniture at anything that comes within 2 feet of her without a written invitation..you can imagine it's reigned havoc on my once a season fumble :(

 

So if anyone has any original and effective ideas for their eradication I'd be happy to receive them, otherwise I'll nipping out..and I might be some time :cry:

 

Can I get some of the juice you've been drinking while on holiday b.f. :hihi: :hihi:

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Conkers. They don't like conkers. You'll have to wait a month but get conkers. I think it might work for horse chestnut wood as well ? Are roof joists made of it ? I've found no spiders in my atic recently. Get a powerful Hoover with a long snozzle.

 

Victory can be yours !

ive got some conkers if you wanna buy em :)

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Conkers. They don't like conkers. You'll have to wait a month but get conkers. I think it might work for horse chestnut wood as well ? Are roof joists made of it ? I've found no spiders in my atic recently.

I've tried conkers, but discovered my new flatmates had threaded them with twine and had them marinating in vinegar the following morning.

Get a powerful Hoover with a long snozzle.

 

Victory can be yours !

 

I can't get that close! :(

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lol just after saying id not seen any i went to the toilet and just by the side of me quite a large one came gliding down from the cieling, so i grabbed it in my hand and evicted it

You sure you haven't got one of those old toilets with the overhead cistern? :rolleyes::)

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lol just after saying id not seen any i went to the toilet and just by the side of me quite a large one came gliding down from the cieling, so i grabbed it in my hand and evicted it

 

You see, it's the silent invasion..next time you do a sit down wee, one will bite you on your proboscis :hihi:

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