Alcoblog Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Had a phone call here at Area 51 and a half, yesterday from a friend of mine who, of his own volition has chosen to live on T'Cross. He'd been watching the Jubilympics and wondered if I could take some food round, so as he didn't need go foraging at Asda and thereby miss the repeats. I pointed out that I was watching the Mars landing, which was far more important in my opinion. However, in the end I volunteered to deliver a plate of cheese and Marmite sandwiches. Of course, as everyone knows, the Parsonian environment holds in store many perils for sentient life, so I decided to take the Alcocopter. After a quick scan of Google Earth, I decided the best place to land would be in a pothole on Wordsworth Crescent. It's believed this pothole (now dried out) once contained water, and may be the origin of life on T'Cross as we now know it. I decided it was too dangerous to land the Alcocopter directly onto the bitumen and litter based crust, so instead opted for the 'Sandwich Hook' delivery system, in conjunction with the 'Sky Plate'. Thereby, a plate of sandwiches could be lowered safely (from the orbiting Alcocopter) to the surface of the hostile environment by means of a length of high tensile string ... a distance of some 20 metres! I set off from 'Area 51 and a half' Mission Control at 'oh eight breakfast time hundred' yesterday ... a long and arduous trek, covering well in excess of 3.5 million millimetres! Well ... the rest is history! Totally successful sandwich delivering mission (apart from minor problems during entry into Wentworth Avenue) The full journey is plotted out here, using my state of the art, computer generated graphics (in conjunction with the Daily Mail) Do I win a Gold Medal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bypassblade Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Yes; just if for the state of the art graphics you have incorporated, a very well done sir to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Liner Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Epic, simply epic....I'm not one for public displays of emotion but that has stirred emotions I'd forgotten I had. Would it be too much to say that a Civic Ceremony for our sporting greats could be extended to the brave who risked life and limb for such an outstanding task. Could you get the Alcocopter painted Gold perchance?? Congratulations, I look forward to your next installment of tales of unselfish bravery. I'm feeling inspired...Having seen recent images from that little red planet, I'm about to embark on a mission to 'Instagram' Mars, the snazzy filter effect would do it much more justice. Regards B-Liner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxman Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 You are a hero Sir. They ought to give you the freedom of the city....but they'll probably section you instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penistone999 Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Anyone who is brave enough to venture onto T`Cross at anytime deserves a knighthood in the next honours list. So to do it by air in the face of incoming fire from air guns from hostile locals truly is a brave warrior. There are areas of S5 where even the police wont patrol ,so for a mere member of the public to achieve this feat is truly remarkable. I Sir ,Salute You. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mort Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Bravely done pushing forward the boundaries of science like that. I wonder, does marmite count as sentient life in itself? Will the natives react with it in some unforseen way ? I wait with baited breath for the answers to these pressing scientific questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted August 7, 2012 Author Share Posted August 7, 2012 Bravely done pushing forward the boundaries of science like that. I wonder, does marmite count as sentient life in itself? Will the natives react with it in some unforseen way ? I wait with baited breath for the answers to these pressing scientific questions. Who can tell? Well ... me actually! I have to organize a 'Plate Recovery' mission in the not too distant future! Hopefully, when the be-breadcrumbed plate is returned and scanned into the 'Three-phase linear Spectroscope' in my science lab, important information will be gleaned as to life (or lack of) on the Parsonian planet. It may be possible to terraform the arid, desolate landscape and turn it into some kind of habitable (even hospitable?) outpost on the very edge of our Sheffield System. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanes teeth Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 All credit to you sir.It is only due to bravery such as yours that the human race will continue to advance.To make a successful delivery is truly "Boys Own Paper" stuff. As I'm sure you know,many have tried and failed where you have triumphed.and to use such an audacious delivery system does you credit.As you will know others have tried the "two sky plates dangled over the telephone wires" method as evidenced by the remains of many practice missions.The shortcomings of that method are patently obvious due in no small part to the shortness of the average Cross dweller.It has taken your inginuity to solve this age old problem. Do you deserve gold? Not at all.Gold is nowhere near valuable enough.Perhaps Pete McKee will paint you and present you with a bottle of Hendos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted August 7, 2012 Author Share Posted August 7, 2012 Having read the replies to my thread, I'd just like to thank the kind folk who're calling me 'Sir' already! Your generosity overwhelms me ... it's the gold medal that I'm more interested in though! It'll help my new venture into dentistry no end! (I've already got the goggles) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isabelle Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Driving to the Asda today, I realised that you always can tell when you get to Parsons Cross/Southey, its when the smell of cannabis hits you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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