Bereavement Support in Sheffield. I am shocked.

[0742Sheff]

Had a bit of a wobble earlier. Although i am in a better place these days, i still miss my Kblade. There is still that gaping hole.

 

Anyway... I decided to look for a bereavement support group in Sheffield and guess what i found.....Nothing. I did find several 'support groups' full of idiots talking about getting off with each other.

 

When Kerry died i had an appointment made to collect her belongings and speak to the bereavement officer. When i turned up she gave me a leaflet, gave me Kerry's cloths and asked me to sign forms for the funeral director.

 

That was it. No counselling at all. I was in there for 5 mins at the most. Thinking back, she was also quite abrupt. I am guessing that if i had any sort of counselling at all, i would have been where i am now, a lot sooner.

 

I know i am not in the right frame of mind to do it but surely a city the size Sheffield needs such a support group to help each other out when losing family members?

[Chris_Sleeps]

There are some charities that work in bereavement. Have you looked into those? A quick search has shown me Cruse Bereavement Care.

 

Beyond that, I'm very little help. I couldn't begin to understand what you've been through.

[Leah-Lacie]

Hope you and your daughter are doing ok sweety

 

I'm surprised to hear theres nothing in the way of support around too. I'd have thought there would have been a few groups at least x

 

 

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[Ms Macbeth]

I don't know if these will be any help, but I hope one or the other might:

 

St Marie's Cathedral, Bereavement Support Drop-in

The Bereavement Support drop-in aims to provide an opportunity for bereaved and grieving individuals to meet and talk with others who are in a similar situation and derive comfort and help from this.

 

Meetings are co-ordinated by volunteers with compassion and understanding of the grief process. Self or any referral.

 

Meetings are held at Cathedral House, Norfolk Street, S1 (2nd Wednesday in the month).

Address:

Cathedral Church of St Marie

Norfolk Street

Sheffield

South Yorkshire

S1 2JB (View Map)

Disabled Access Details: Wheelchair Accessible; Wheelchair Accessible with Assistance; Wheelchair Accessible Toilet;

Telephone: 0114 272 2522

Email: office@cathedralchurchofstmarie.org

 

and:

 

Bereavement Support Drop-in - Sacred Heart Church

The Bereavenment Support drop-in offers an opportunity for anyone bereaved or grieving to meet others in a similar position to share their experiences. The service can offer support and the opportunity to talk on a one-to-one basis for those who need this. Open to all.

 

Meetings held at Sacred Heart Presbytery, S6 (Monday).

Address:

Please contact for details

Contact Name: Janina Klapas

Telephone: 0114 231 2300

Telephone Details: and answerphone

 

Service/Activity Details:

Sacred Heart Presbytery

Forbes Road

Sheffield

South Yorkshire

S6 2NW

 

Days and Times: 2nd Mon in the month 1.30-3.30pm

Contact Name: Rachel, Secretary

Telephone: 0114 234 3580

Telephone Details: Mon-Fri 9.30am-3pm

 

Both in the Sheffield Council directory: http://www.sheffieldhelpyourself.org.uk/welfare_search.asp?bereavement=Bereavement

 

I also thought of Cruse as I believe they offer counselling, but I see Chris_Sleeps has posted their link. I hope you find a service or group that suits your needs.

[0742Sheff]

Sorry guys. I didn't word my OP very well. I'm not actively looking for counselling at the moment. I did the search last night out of curiosity. I was wondering if i had been a one off when i wasn't offered any counselling from either the hospital or my doctor. It seems i was not.

I find it strange that there is no official counselling out there. There is counselling for drugs/drink/depression/anxiety etc etc but when the very worst possible act happens to you, you seem to be left alone to deal with it.

 

I did find this web page which has pretty much put my thoughts down. I can relate to every single word on it. Especially that part about what other people say to you. That made me smile as i was at a wedding last Sat and had lots of people saying the same things throughout the day.

[TeaFan]

Hi,

 

sorry to hear about your situation. Probably the reason you were not offered formal counselling soon after your loved one's death is that there is no evidence that it gives any benefit so soon after a bereavement. Bereavement and grief are completely natural processes which are different for each person; people don't need counselling for feeling sad, or on the floor, or despairing, only if this goes on for a long time and starts to really interfere with their life. One of the problems we have in our culture is that we are not very comfortable with bereavement, and some people find themselves ignored by others or encouraged to 'get over it' in an unnecessarily short time, simply because others are uncomfortable with their grief.

 

I got bereavement counselling two years after my friend's death because nothing was really changing and I had so much anger wrapped up in it. I've also counselled quite a few people myself whose main problem was other peoples' attitude to their grief.

 

If you do need counselling at any point you can access it through your GP, including for bereavement, or via any of the other services people have mentioned. Feel free to pm for anything else.

 

Edit: I wouldn't ask a doctor for counselling either. No disrespect to them at all, but it's a completely different set of skills. They are there to try to heal people and I think a level of detachment is pretty essential for doctors who see a lot of patients die. They may do more harm than good if they try to counsel the bereaved relatives.

[cgksheff]

I heard these words on the radio recently:

 

"Grief is the price we pay for Love"

[janie48]

A friend of mine suggested i go to one of the Bereavement Services posted on this thread,and offered to go with me, she understood why i said i would rather not, it just didn't feel right for me at the time.

 

Its been a while now,but i wish i had gone!.

Once you have passed through the five stages of grief,it does get easier,but it can still leave you with something that isn't always easy to deal with.

X X

[Evei]

When growing up I had 5 best girlie mates (and still do!) , out of the 5, 3 lost their Dad's before the age of 15, all sudden deaths. It taught me one thing and that was not to ignore talking about death like I felt I should do. They supported each other and it was quite normal for them to talk about their Dad's even if it often ended in tears. I remember one saying that she was glad she had friends that were not scared to talk about her Dad normally and remember the good, sad and bad things.

 

Now we are getting to our 30's and one by one getting married it has always been nice to hear them talk about their Dad's at the wedding with love, memories and a few tears. Only one of them ever went to any official bereavement counselling and she said it helped her immensely, as she got quite angry, she could be a nightmare to be around during her teenage years, it helped her move on from that stage.

 

I know schools very often offer bereavement counselling now for children, so that is something to ask about at school if children are involved. I have noticed that a lot of the bereavement counselling is connected to churches and not everyone feels comfortable with that attachment.

[kayinjapan]

I am fortunate to have never needed their services, but I walk past Your Good Mourning in Walkley who opened in the past few months.

 

http://www.sheffieldhelpyourself.org.uk/full_search_new.asp?group=26070