Bereavement Support in Sheffield. I am shocked.

[0742Sheff]

When growing up I had 5 best girlie mates (and still do!) , out of the 5, 3 lost their Dad's before the age of 15, all sudden deaths. It taught me one thing and that was not to ignore talking about death like I felt I should do. They supported each other and it was quite normal for them to talk about their Dad's even if it often ended in tears. I remember one saying that she was glad she had friends that were not scared to talk about her Dad normally and remember the good, sad and bad things.

 

Now we are getting to our 30's and one by one getting married it has always been nice to hear them talk about their Dad's at the wedding with love, memories and a few tears. Only one of them ever went to any official bereavement counselling and she said it helped her immensely, as she got quite angry, she could be a nightmare to be around during her teenage years, it helped her move on from that stage.

 

I know schools very often offer bereavement counselling now for children, so that is something to ask about at school if children are involved. I have noticed that a lot of the bereavement counselling is connected to churches and not everyone feels comfortable with that attachment.

 

You hit the nail on the head there Evei.

 

I have hardly talked about Kerry passing away for 6 months now. No one feels comfortable talking about it apart from me.

I understand that no one wants to talk about it. If the boot was on the other foot i would do all i could to try and focus on other things. The thing is, people just don't know how to react.

I could stand and talk about Kerry and her passing without any problem at all. Of course, there might be tears involved but that doesn't mean i don't want to talk about it.

 

Hiding it away is never going solve anything.

[Evei]

I could stand and talk about Kerry and her passing without any problem at all. Of course, there might be tears involved but that doesn't mean i don't want to talk about it.

 

Hiding it away is never going solve anything.

 

I do think we have quite an odd culture with dealing with close deaths. It is sad really that we are almost 'taught' to ignore and forget. Stiff upper lip and all that!

 

I guess that is why a lot of people set up charities or events in memory. It is a way of being able to still talk about them without making other people feel uncomfortable.

[janie48]

You hit the nail on the head there Evei.

 

I have hardly talked about Kerry passing away for 6 months now. No one feels comfortable talking about it apart from me.

I understand that no one wants to talk about it. If the boot was on the other foot i would do all i could to try and focus on other things. The thing is, people just don't know how to react.

I could stand and talk about Kerry and her passing without any problem at all. Of course, there might be tears involved but that doesn't mean i don't want to talk about it.

 

Hiding it away is never going solve anything.

 

I came across this forum website.I can't speak for it personally,but it may be the answer for anyone who finds it difficult to communicate their feelings face to face, of which i am sure they're are many.

 

http://www.bereavementuk.co.uk/

[Godzilla]

Hi,

 

 

IEdit: I wouldn't ask a doctor for counselling either. No disrespect to them at all, but it's a completely different set of skills. They are there to try to heal people and I think a level of detachment is pretty essential for doctors who see a lot of patients die. They may do more harm than good if they try to counsel the bereaved relatives.

 

Doctors rarely offer to counsel themselves, but counselling can be accessed through your GP, though the wait might be a long one.

[3nicky1]

I was also going to suggest Cruse but someone has already posted this.

 

It wouldn't be standard to be offer bereavment counselling straight away as someone else had said because it is more helpful to people to go through the natural process and then seek additional support if things do not resolve or if there are other factors e.g. trauma. A good bereavement counsellor would not see people straight after a death bearing this in mind.

 

I know people have suggested accessing counselling through the GP but I would always reccomend a counsellor who specificically works with and is trained in bereavement work (often through agencies such as Cruse) as the counsellor or mental health worker you are allocate through your GP may have no knowledge of this. I work for a mental health service (not in sheffield) and we often signpost people to bereavement counsellors as we are not the best professionals to help with grief (unless there are other mental health factors) but I think some people feel they are being 'fobbed off' and that this means we do not see their difficulties as significant.

 

I realise you clairified it was more support groups not counselling you were talking about but thought the above could be useful for you or others. I completely agree there are not enough support groups in Sheffield for people who have been bereaved as so many people ask for this and it seems it would be so useful.

[TeaFan]

Doctors rarely offer to counsel themselves, but counselling can be accessed through your GP, though the wait might be a long one.

 

It shouldn't be more than 28 days in Sheffield but 3nicky1 makes a valid point above ^