felix24 Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Hello everyone I've known this friend for 12 years now, we've always got on really well, we live about 1/2 hour away - maybe see each other once a month - it's more us visiting them than the other way round. They are very laid back - we get that. We've spent many a day/weekend/week away with them - no problems, however this last holiday we've had made me see her differently. I first noticed a "catty" remark on day one (hour one) of our holiday - I brushed it off - it then continued for the whole holiday resulting in me and hubby taking off alone either on foot or by boat to a different part of the island - just to get away as her bitter and catty - and negative remarks were getting me down. I didn't want a confrontation as I didn't want to spoil the holiday for the kids. Facebook's the same - EVERY photo or comment I put on - she puts either a negative or sarcastic remark on - she aint got a good word to say to me/ about me or my hubby and kids. An example - I decided to announce that I was joining the NHS stop smoking clinic - big step for me - her response? WHAT!!!??????? (had the boot been on the other foot my reply would have been "oh great, go for it! good luck, etc" I put loads of holiday photos on - she's put none of hers on, yet she's picked out several where we were caught off guard not smiling and she's put things like "ooh look it's mr & mrs happy" There are dozens of remarks I could list - mostly aimed at slagging off my hubby - I think this is because she's jealous, though she has no reason to be - she has an amazing job (and wage), her husband is self employed, does very well - they must have twice the money we have - but every penny we own we spend on our home, keeping it nice, plus holidays now and then - where as they're not so, shall we say house proud! - never mattered to me, they're friends and we dont care what they earn or do with it - but this is the ONLY thing she can be jealous about - unless she's jealous of our relationship (we have our own freedom/ share bank accounts etc, they dont - husband controls every penny in their house) I'm really hurt about it, infact I'm furious, and the one and only message shes sent me in the last month since we returned from hol has been ignored! on top of all this - they owe us money - a few hundred, my card was cloned whilst away - the fraud team rang and had to cancel it - they didnt even offer that money back knowing i'd got no way of getting any more money out ... we ended up having to ask for it back! we got half of it, three days later, then no mention of the rest.... Disgusted and furious and deeply hurt by her actions. I'm one of those that lets things build up and build up then EXPLODES - and that's where I'm currently at. If I had time, and could type everything she's said/done recently you wouldn't believe me ...you'd think I was making it up! anyone got an opinion please? has this happened to you? how did you deal with it? I KNOW i'm not being paranoid - hubby's fairly laid back but even he was P*****d off with her by the end of the week. (her hubby was no problem, no different to how he's always been with us - it's just her) xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyofborg Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 demand the rest of the money back and once you have it then cast them from your life like an empty crisp packet and move on to better things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felix24 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Share Posted September 17, 2012 She's embarrassed herself by suddenly becoming a b***h They've both embarrassed themselves by conveniently forgetting they still owe us 300quid. I think you're right, good advice. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scousemouse Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Terminate the friendship, you don't need to be around people like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinfoilhat Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 If its a couple of hundred and it won't kill you, blow her off now. If it will kill you, go and see her all happy and smiley, ideally when hubby is about and casually ask for the money back. Keep it smiley till you have the money and you are out the door. Then ignore her. Ranting and having a go will not get you even, or make you happy. You and your other half seem happy without them so jettison them from your life. They ain't family and it ain't school. Let them wallow in their own misery and unfriend them (is that right ? I dont do Facebook.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris_Sleeps Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Maybe I'm being dry and cynical, but here's my two-penneth. Life's too short. If they don't make you happy, you have nothing to lose. Avoiding confrontation and being miserable with a friendship is pointless - so either, A) tell them and try and fix it, B) drop them and move on. As for money; neither a borrower nor lender be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felix24 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Share Posted September 17, 2012 thanks. Don't care about the money really, it's just principle .... but I do think that's partly the reason why she was being clever - to try and distract us so we wouldnt ask for it?. I'm glad three of you so far have said get rid - that's what we want to do - just didn't want to regret it after but I'm fairly sure we won't, it's not like we did "friend things" every week - I have much nicer friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felix24 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Share Posted September 17, 2012 Maybe I'm being dry and cynical, but here's my two-penneth. Life's too short. If they don't make you happy, you have nothing to lose. Avoiding confrontation and being miserable with a friendship is pointless - so either, A) tell them and try and fix it, B) drop them and move on. As for money; neither a borrower nor lender be. they don't make us happy. Not any more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felix24 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Share Posted September 17, 2012 If its a couple of hundred and it won't kill you, blow her off now. If it will kill you, go and see her all happy and smiley, ideally when hubby is about and casually ask for the money back. Keep it smiley till you have the money and you are out the door. Then ignore her. Ranting and having a go will not get you even, or make you happy. You and your other half seem happy without them so jettison them from your life. They ain't family and it ain't school. Let them wallow in their own misery and unfriend them (is that right ? I dont do Facebook.) thank you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natjack Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 If she's read this, she's probably already 'unfriended' you anyway. Problem solved! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.