missymoo73 Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Hello I am really looking for some advice with regards to my Daughter who is 12. We lost her Grandad just before the 6 weeks holiday and it was very sudden and she seemed to be ok. She chose not to go to the funeral and we said that was fine and we understood. Everything was ok up to the last 2 weeks of the school holidays and then I became really bad with my anxiety and although I tried to keep it from her as she worries a lot she obviously picked up that something was wrong as I had to move us in to my Mum and Dads for a few weeks. She went to school ok for the first few days and from then on its gone downhill. She isnt being bullied she loves school but she doesn't want to be away from me all the time she says she feels lost and she is worried that something bad is going to happen to me when she isn't there. School have spoken to me about her and have referred her on to MIND but that could take a while and I have also had her to the Dr's this morning to see if there was anything they can recommend we do and the Dr (who specialises in Mental Health) as referred her to CAMS. What I am wondering if there is anyone out there that is or has gone through something like this with their child. I am at my whits end as I feel hopeless and so guilty for making her go to school when she doesn't want to go. Thank you Claire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melthebell Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Sorry to hear that moo, not a lot i can say tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missymoo73 Posted September 27, 2012 Author Share Posted September 27, 2012 Sorry to hear that moo, not a lot i can say tbh Thanks hun....just want to help her and feel hopeless atm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingray-man Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Hello I am really looking for some advice with regards to my Daughter who is 12. We lost her Grandad just before the 6 weeks holiday and it was very sudden and she seemed to be ok. She chose not to go to the funeral and we said that was fine and we understood. Everything was ok up to the last 2 weeks of the school holidays and then I became really bad with my anxiety and although I tried to keep it from her as she worries a lot she obviously picked up that something was wrong as I had to move us in to my Mum and Dads for a few weeks. She went to school ok for the first few days and from then on its gone downhill. She isnt being bullied she loves school but she doesn't want to be away from me all the time she says she feels lost and she is worried that something bad is going to happen to me when she isn't there. School have spoken to me about her and have referred her on to MIND but that could take a while and I have also had her to the Dr's this morning to see if there was anything they can recommend we do and the Dr (who specialises in Mental Health) as referred her to CAMS. What I am wondering if there is anyone out there that is or has gone through something like this with their child. I am at my whits end as I feel hopeless and so guilty for making her go to school when she doesn't want to go. Thank you Claire It sounds like she is worried about you doing something silly and or loosing you, which is quite understandable after losing a loved one. have you sat down with her and explained that your ok and your not going to leave her etc ..., and also explained to her why she should be in school learning ? have you asked her what her worries are ?, have you spoke to her about losing love one's and about how she has to continue with her life after. I think you need to reassure her, she doesn't sound too confident at the minute so maybe she just needs a good talk with her mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missymoo73 Posted September 27, 2012 Author Share Posted September 27, 2012 It sounds like she is worried about you doing something silly and or loosing you, which is quite understandable after losing a loved one. have you sat down with her and explained that your ok and your not going to leave her etc ..., and also explained to her why she should be in school learning ? have you asked her what her worries are ?, have you spoke to her about losing love one's and about how she has to continue with her life after. I think you need to reassure her, she doesn't sound too confident at the minute so maybe she just needs a good talk with her mum. Yeah she is worried that something is going to happen to us all but I have sat her down and talked to her as we are quite close anyway. She is fine for a few hours and then it all starts again. Yep explained that she needs to be in school learning and to be fair they have been great with her but its getting tot he point now where she needs to be back in lessons rather than a classroom on her own (which is whats happening atm) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Have you talked to the school regarding phone contact? It could be that when she has a panic, a call to you may help..obviously this would have to be ok'd with the school. The sound of your voice maybe enough to help calm and reasure her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missymoo73 Posted September 27, 2012 Author Share Posted September 27, 2012 Have you talked to the school regarding phone contact? It could be that when she has a panic, a call to you may help..obviously this would have to be ok'd with the school. The sound of your voice maybe enough to help calm and reasure her. Yeah she texts me when she feels worse but then she is begging me to come and pick her up as she doesnt want to be in school so sometimes I feel as though no contact would be better but then is it too much not to have no contact at all - will it make her panic even more ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Yeah she texts me when she feels worse but then she is begging me to come and pick her up as she doesnt want to be in school so sometimes I feel as though no contact would be better but then is it too much not to have no contact at all - will it make her panic even more ? Maybe go the opposite, don't text and don't reply. Always have the school ready to be replied to though. Pandering to her every request may not be helping her to deal with it. I'm not suggesting ignore, but keeping a firm grip. Panic and fear are good mechinisms for dealing with stuff, if you remove that vehichle by pandering it could have long term repercussions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missymoo73 Posted September 27, 2012 Author Share Posted September 27, 2012 Maybe go the opposite, don't text and don't reply. Always have the school ready to be replied to though. Pandering to her every request may not be helping her to deal with it. I'm not suggesting ignore, but keeping a firm grip. This is what i have been thinking but then I feel so awful by ignoring her. Kids who'd have em eh ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 This is what i have been thinking but then I feel so awful by ignoring her. Kids who'd have em eh ? This is the problem kids have when their parents pandering to every move. Most obese kids are obese because their parents pander as an example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.