Daughter not coping with bereavement

[Agent Orange]

Thanks Agent

 

No worries. Here's a suggestion, not sure it will work, but worth a go. How about taking her out for the day for a proper mother/daughter session. At the very least, it will distract her and the most, might put her at ease to talk to you about things.

[stingray-man]

Well I am trying this this morning this stance this morning.

 

Had a good talk to her last night and thought I had got somewhere but no this morning floods of tears saying she is going to miss me.

 

Its tough love time and see what this does......fingers crossed it works.

 

 

good let her see how strong you are now, it will make her a stronger person for it.

 

lead by example.

[Darth Vader]

With younger children, when they're starting school and get seperation anxiety, a fantastic tip I read was to leave the child with something that you can't do without, like your keys, purse (but emptied first of course!), - something they see that you can't do without, then they know you will be coming back!

 

I'm wondering if something similar might work for your daughter, of course she's older but if you gave her something that had meaning for you, to keep on her person at school (preferably not of much monetary value!) and you could tell her it's to serve as a reminder that you are always thinking of her and are waiting to see her again, and will be there for her, then she could use it just to look at and remind her of this, and it might 'comfort' her. Preferably something that she doesn't have to keep getting out, (as that might disrupt the lesson) - so maybe a (photo) keyring on a belt or something, that she can just touch or hold on to for a second, whenever she misses you, to reassure her (and nobody else need know, it would just be between you and her).

 

Or, of course, you could buy something especially for this purpose and convey to her the meaning attached to it, as above, maybe combine this with a mother/daughter trip out as Agent Orange suggested!

[busymum3]

Hi

 

Have you thought about contacting Cruse Bereavement Care? They do counselling for children as well as adults. I can recommend them, I used their counselling service when my mum died. They have a specialised children's counsellor. Hope this helps.

[buck]

Was it your father who died? Has she perhaps been affected by your own grief? My son was older when my wife died. He was 19. He had been driving the car the car that crashed and killed his Mom, and was in deep grief and guilt, though he was not at fault. I think my serious grief was keeping him from improving. So I made a tough effort to get over it, and he slowly but surely got better.

[Darth Vader]

Was it your father who died? Has she perhaps been affected by your own grief? My son was older when my wife died. He was 19. He had been driving the car the car that crashed and killed his Mom, and was in deep grief and guilt, though he was not at fault. I think my serious grief was keeping him from improving. So I made a tough effort to get over it, and he slowly but surely got better.

 

How sad. Good heavens, you're made of strong stuff. Good on you.