Claire_ Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Long story short. A young girl i know was attacked at her school by a known bully. Its a primary school and the girl is 9. So is the boy. Last week the bully grabbed the girl by the throat, punched her in the tummy then in an aggresive manner said "i want your p***y" This girl had no idea of the meaning but obviously was hurt buy the physical attack and now the parents are fearful for the girls saftey and that of the rest of the kid in the class. They spoke to the school who when pressed would NOT garentee the girls saftey from this boys atacks saying they could not 100% be sure it wouldnt happen again. Of course the parents arent happy and are seeking legal advice. My concern is that this boy is using words and phrases that are sexually explicit going so far as to make sexual gestures in the play ground towards other girls and even some of the mums. This cant be right! The parents also told the school they would be informing social services and the schools attitude was one of "well go on then, they will only tell you to speak to us". Should they be worried? What can they do to have this boy removed from school and placed somewhere more suitable or do they have to wait for the sexual talk to become an attack before anyone does anything. Advice would be welcomed. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Vader Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 If I went to a college, a concert, or even a trip to the supermarket, etc, I wouldn't expect anyone to give me a 100% guarantee for my personal safety. I'm afraid there are too many variables and anyone who gave a guarantee that they could would be lying, and/or of low intelligence. I think the school have at least been frank with you on that. I'm sorry I know that's not what parents want to hear. HOWEVER, I would expect any school, college, concert venue, or supermarket, etc to take my safety seriously and if I had a complaint to act on it, and explain exactly what they are doing about it and what further steps they are taking to ensure that the likelihood of this happening to the same girl, or anyone else is much reduced. With schools, this is a little more complicated, as the school does not have the right to give personal information about the 'bully', so they might not be able to tell you what exactly is happening with regards the 'bully' and 'bullying'. HOWEVER, they can inform you of what other steps are being taken to minimise the risks to other children. Examples might be: If there are known places where this happens more frequently - eg, in the playground, during PE changing, in the cloakroom after school, then it seems quite fair that you can expect the school to address this by having a member of staff supervise these areas when it is known the 'bully' will be there. Perhaps, until the situation improves or is resolved, then there is a need for an extra member of staff at lunchtime to particularly keep an eye on the situation. However strong feelings might be amongst parents, at the end of the day, the 'bully' is only a child, and more than likely has a lot to contend with himself, and I know sometimes, where children have been hurt, and emotions run high, this can sometimes get forgotten. Of course, I am not condoning such behaviour, but maybe there are 'explanations' for it. Have you spoken to a parent governor at the school about your concerns? As parents themselves, they are often in a very good position to act as intermediaries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Hardie Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 The school's attitude stinks. It's a long time since I was at school and I don't have children of my own so do not really have the experience to give advice. Personally I would be considering going to the police. Failing this, if the boy is not removed then the only other option is to take the girl out of the school. I would bet my house against a shilling that the boy has been watching online pornography. Something for all you liberals out there to reflect on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kersplosh Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Is this really a matter for a general forum ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orielanne Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Is this really a matter for a general forum ? Why not? parents are general public,, anyone can discuss anything on this thread ,if you don't agree with whats posted, try a different thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orielanne Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I posted on another thread about my grandsons treatment at the school he was at. He was one of 3 boys who were the only non muslim pupils,In R.I he refused to write Allah blessed be his name,first he was given detention,5times,then he was suspended until he consented to conform, he refused to do soand the school would not allow him back. Finally the education dept. said they would take my daughter to Court for his non attendence, and warned her that this summons carried the possibility of a prison sentence. she was refused home tutoring. the timing was bad because he was swatting for GCSE's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sierra Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I posted on another thread about my grandsons treatment at the school he was at. He was one of 3 boys who were the only non muslim pupils,In R.I he refused to write Allah blessed be his name,first he was given detention,5times,then he was suspended until he consented to conform, he refused to do soand the school would not allow him back. Finally the education dept. said they would take my daughter to Court for his non attendence, and warned her that this summons carried the possibility of a prison sentence. she was refused home tutoring. the timing was bad because he was swatting for GCSE's What the frack?? Is this a religious school? Because if it isn't, I have no idea how the school can legally even get away with forcing a pupil to do this. Was this exercise part of a lesson, or is this something they do every day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sierra Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Long story short. A young girl i know was attacked at her school by a known bully. Its a primary school and the girl is 9. So is the boy. Last week the bully grabbed the girl by the throat, punched her in the tummy then in an aggresive manner said "i want your p***y" This girl had no idea of the meaning but obviously was hurt buy the physical attack and now the parents are fearful for the girls saftey and that of the rest of the kid in the class. They spoke to the school who when pressed would NOT garentee the girls saftey from this boys atacks saying they could not 100% be sure it wouldnt happen again. Of course the parents arent happy and are seeking legal advice. My concern is that this boy is using words and phrases that are sexually explicit going so far as to make sexual gestures in the play ground towards other girls and even some of the mums. This cant be right! The parents also told the school they would be informing social services and the schools attitude was one of "well go on then, they will only tell you to speak to us". Should they be worried? What can they do to have this boy removed from school and placed somewhere more suitable or do they have to wait for the sexual talk to become an attack before anyone does anything. Advice would be welcomed. Thank you. Sometimes, it does no good to speak to the parents. Very often, the rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree, if you know what I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halibut Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Long story short. A young girl i know was attacked at her school by a known bully. Its a primary school and the girl is 9. So is the boy. Last week the bully grabbed the girl by the throat, punched her in the tummy then in an aggresive manner said "i want your p***y" This girl had no idea of the meaning but obviously was hurt buy the physical attack and now the parents are fearful for the girls saftey and that of the rest of the kid in the class. They spoke to the school who when pressed would NOT garentee the girls saftey from this boys atacks saying they could not 100% be sure it wouldnt happen again. Of course the parents arent happy and are seeking legal advice. My concern is that this boy is using words and phrases that are sexually explicit going so far as to make sexual gestures in the play ground towards other girls and even some of the mums. This cant be right! The parents also told the school they would be informing social services and the schools attitude was one of "well go on then, they will only tell you to speak to us". Should they be worried? What can they do to have this boy removed from school and placed somewhere more suitable or do they have to wait for the sexual talk to become an attack before anyone does anything. Advice would be welcomed. Thank you. They would have been very foolish otherwise. Of course they cannot offer a 100% guarantee - no school can. The parents cannot force the school to have the aggressor removed - nor, in my opinion, should they have the right to. The way through this is through dialogue with the school; parents getting lawyered up and stroppy won't help anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SevenRivers Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Ask for a copy of the schools bullying policy. They should have one, if they don't, ask the Head Teacher why not. If they do, ensure you keep them to the letter of the policy, and pick them up on any deviation if they are not following their own policy. Ask about the formal complaints policy and make a formal complaint too. If you are not happy with the response, also write to the Chair of the School Governors. Check the SCC website for local authority contacts. If it continues, don't rule out the police either. Let the school know you are willing to contact police, even if they can't do much as the boy is 9, it reflects badly on the school so it might motivate the school to take you seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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