Strix Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would think it depends on the circumstances; there are, I believe, truly evil people who simply want to inflict pain, then there are others who use it as a cry for help. As I said, I know how kids can push you to breaking point, and the right thing to do is remove yourself from the situation. Some people though, in the heat of the moment may lose it. I've never felt that bad before but its obvious some do, theres only so much one person can take and the onus is on them to seek help before it happens.Now that's a whole other thread I've had a child ill solidly for 4 months. For 3 of those months I didn't get more than 4 hours of sleep in one go. In utter desparation I rang the health visitor and left a message on the answermachine - it took two weeks for them to call me back. When a health visitor eventually came to me I was informed in no uncertain terms that 'you're not a single parent family'. That was it. I could pretty much get stuffed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattricia Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Just to add, I also loathe parents who hurt the kids to spite the other parent. To me, its obvious they have some sort of mental condition as they see the children as possessions, to be destroyed or used as they see fit, rather than an actual life. I have never known so many cases of parents who have separated, and the man takes the children out for the day, and then kills them ( and himself)sometimes. There have been at least four cases like that this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubble3082 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'm sorry but as I'm on my phone I can't quote your posts or leave a reply that is more than 500 characters, so if any replies are in 2 parts please bear with me! I'm sorry to hear about your ill child and experience with the HV. Not that I'm saying you would EVER hurt your child, but what if you did? You would've asked for help and got nothing! What has been a single parent got to do with it? Not everybodys OH is able or willing to help. As you said, thats a whole other thread but I do find that awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'm sorry but as I'm on my phone I can't quote your posts or leave a reply that is more than 500 characters, so if any replies are in 2 parts please bear with me! I'm sorry to hear about your ill child and experience with the HV. Not that I'm saying you would EVER hurt your child, but what if you did? You would've asked for help and got nothing! What has been a single parent got to do with it? Not everybodys OH is able or willing to help. As you said, thats a whole other thread but I do find that awful. Oh it's okay. They've been here with a set of forms and stuff and ticked all the boxes on them that say I won't harm her, so she's completely safe (or at least their jobs are) Anyway, I'm responsible enough to at least put her in nursery if I feel like doing any real damage [/sarcasm and utter contempt] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'm sorry but as I'm on my phone I can't quote your posts or leave a reply that is more than 500 characters, so if any replies are in 2 parts please bear with me! I'm sorry to hear about your ill child and experience with the HV. Not that I'm saying you would EVER hurt your child, but what if you did? You would've asked for help and got nothing! What has been a single parent got to do with it? Not everybodys OH is able or willing to help. As you said, thats a whole other thread but I do find that awful. Sorry - missed that sentence. Hy OH was working abroad regularly at the time, and when not, was generally working 2hrs or more away, so hardly accessible in emergencies. Nearest family is in Liverpool (well some way outside of it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubble3082 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Its funny but all the books and literature tell you that if you need ANY help or aren't coping, then ask for help. It seems they don't mention the hoops you have to jump through to get it. Then people are surprised when parents snap (not something I'm condoning at all but as I said, a human can only take so much). Would it be worth putting in a complaint or asking to change HVs? At the end of the day we all need some 'me' time and being a parent is demanding at the best of times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattricia Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 With my second son I never had a full nights sleep until he went to school. I used to be rocking him to sleep,and whilst his eyes were wide open, I was falling asleep. Your patience is at breaking point, but theres a line you never cross, which abusers do. Thats the difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattricia Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 One thing I cannot understand are child abusers,who say that they did it because they were abused themselves. They never broke the chain of abuse, and there lies the difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubble3082 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 One thing I cannot understand are child abusers,who say that they did it because they were abused themselves. They never broke the chain of abuse, and there lies the difference. Thats a good point. Why would you want to inflict the same trauma and life-long agony as someone has inflicted on you? Abuse undoubtedly messes your head up, but there are countless survivors who don't abuse others. It may depend on the individual and how they cope, I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Sorry, I'm kind of hogging this thread now I was just using my own situation to illustrate why we shouldn't sit in judgement without knowing the full facts, which we never are thanks to the current style our news media adopt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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