Watching someone die

[scousemouse]

I was on holiday when my father died in '78, my mother died in '80, and although \i was in the house, I wasn't with her. My gran died in '83, I was with her, my husband died in 2002, I was with him, a much loved aunt died in 2006 and I was with her. I think it is very sad if people are alone in their final moments. I feel it is up to the individual if they choose to be with a loved one. The same goes for seeing people in the coffin. I saw my husband, but nobody else, purely personal thing.

[Moonbird]

My Sister and I cared for our Mum at her home for her last weeks/months, eventually we got help from Macmillan nurses so that we could go home to sleep, we very much wanted to be there with Mum when she passed just so that she knew that we were there and with her, but it wasn't to be, I got the call to come at 5.20 and I was there at 5.35 but was less than 5 minutes too late.

 

I can't decide whether it was lucky or unlucky for me, I know that I wanted to be there for Mum and for her to know how much she was loved to the end, but I also think...(I think because I cannot know) that seeing her die would have destroyed me and I could never have got it out of my mind.

[libuse]

I've been with a few people as they have died, but no one I was related to or cared for. The overwhelming experience for me has always been one of a futile "so that's it then". Nothing else can be done or said, everything they have contributed, positively and negatively, is now completed, and we can't know anything more from them. It's always felt very final and futile; it has generally made me wonder what the point of it all is.

[Shogun]

I held my Dad in my arms till his last breath, I loved him dearly and miss him every day and he has been gone 20 years, I think the worst bit was seeing this big powerful bloke who had looked after me all my life in a coffin I just wanted to wake him up.

[I1L2T3]

I have had a very similar experience - Dad in 1999 and Mum in 2010.

 

I can honestly say that I have never doubted for a single minute that I was fortunate to be with them to the very last moment, and found some comfort in the fact that they both knew that I was there for them like they had been for me all my life.

 

I'm struggling to find the right words but what a lovely thing to post. I lost somebody very close suddenly and unexpectedly. I'd have given anything to be there for her at that time.

[AWOL]

It must be really comforting to have a hand to hold in the moments leading to death. It makes the very last memories of life pleasant ones.

[johncocker]

I"m not trying to make light of such an emotional thread but I think "watching someone die "is a great title for a song

[harestone]

I"m not trying to make light of such an emotional thread but I think "watching someone die "is a great title for a song

 

17 posts for normal SF service to resume.

[SiSiSi]

Si,

I’m curious why you have asked the question. Not that I feel there is anything wrong in asking. Beyond that, I would say it is right if that is what an individual desires.

 

I asked because every now and then I have flashbacks to both occasions. It was never a question of right or wrong. Neither was it a question of what I wanted, I didn't have a choice.

 

*COULD THE MODS NOW CLOSE THIS THREAD PLEASE?*

[Mecky]

You get used to it