Watching someone die

[Halibut]

I was with my Dad when he died this summer. I'm really glad I was there.

[scousemouse]

.................just because you are used to something. doesn't make you like it any the better.

[mrs grissom]

I was with my Lovely Dad when he passed . I was holding his hand , his 90 year old sister the other. In turn , we were being held by the two nurses that had taken a shine to him in the four months he'd been in hospital. It was a peaceful release after dreadful, dreadful illness . Was I glad I was there ?No question . I saw all the pain and suffering leave him as he slipped away and the last words I hope he heard was me telling him how much he was loved. When my Mum died it was from a heart attack and we were outside the resus waiting. That was so awful.

I get the flashbacks too . If I think about it sometimes it seems surreal but I've started to think about it like experiencing childbirth. It's an amazing , overwhelming privilege to witness a babies first breath . Its the same feeling to be there when a loved one takes their last .

[AWOL]

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that is troublesome.

Having a hand to hold can make that transition easier.

[Saffy]

I couldn't think of a better title for this thread, so opologies in advance. In 1993 I held my mum's hand as she passed away. In 2005 I held my dad's hand as he passed away. To be present at the moment of death of both of your parents is probably quite rare. Then again, it might not be. Some people have told me that I was fortunate to be there, some have told me that I was not. Personally I don't know, sometimes I'm glad I was there and sometimes I wish I hadn't been.

 

Any thoughts on this?

 

 

I think it's an absolute honour. I was with both my Dad and Father In Law as they passed away .. There was something so peaceful and it sort of took my breath away .. For my father in law it was a blessing as he had cancer and the days before we're painful for us to see and must have been for him.

 

My dad? We weren't expecting it, but were called by the hospital where he was being treated for chronic bronchitis .. It was wonderful because, when the sister asked him if he knew where he was he said "agoules studios". ... He'd taken himself to the island he loved and I can't think of anything nicer, with his family around him.

[lubylou]

Sadly i missed been with my dad when he died, i got a call to go to his house asap, but arrived just 5 mins too late, i dont really know if would have actually like to have been there to see him pass but on the other hand i wish i was, as nobody else, family wise was there, but i held his hand for a long time after, and stayed with him until mum got back home,

[MrMoran]

I couldn't think of a better title for this thread, so opologies in advance. In 1993 I held my mum's hand as she passed away. In 2005 I held my dad's hand as he passed away. To be present at the moment of death of both of your parents is probably quite rare. Then again, it might not be. Some people have told me that I was fortunate to be there, some have told me that I was not. Personally I don't know, sometimes I'm glad I was there and sometimes I wish I hadn't been.

 

Any thoughts on this?

 

I wasnt there when dad died.

I wanted to remember him as he was.

[Bypassblade]

I couldn't think of a better title for this thread, so opologies in advance. In 1993 I held my mum's hand as she passed away. In 2005 I held my dad's hand as he passed away. To be present at the moment of death of both of your parents is probably quite rare. Then again, it might not be. Some people have told me that I was fortunate to be there, some have told me that I was not. Personally I don't know, sometimes I'm glad I was there and sometimes I wish I hadn't been.

 

Any thoughts on this?

 

Very good thread, to start I have not been with someone as they have passed over, but my daughter who is a carer was the other week. She said even though she was the carer she found it still very moving, speaking from a personal point of view I would like someone to be with me, but we don't always get in life what we want.

 

Si I would say you were privileged to be at the passing both times, I understand what you mean though, all the best.

[Bethsmummy]

I lost my first born baby daughter on the day she was born. Actually it'll be the 10 year anniversary in a couple of weeks.

After she was born we were told she was just too sick to survive so family were called up to the hospital to meet her & say goodbye all at once. Naturally over the next hour or so family filed in & had a cuddle with her. All the while her heart was beating.

 

Then while my sister-in-law was holding her the doctor thought he heard her take her last breath. He placed a stethoscope on her chest & confirmed her heart had stopped.

 

Probably my biggest regret in life is that I wasn't holding her as she slipped over. I feel that I was the only one she had ever known & she really should have felt I was still there with her. But thankfully, we don't tend to know the hour or the day.

[foxydebs]

we lost my grandad to cancer when i was 10, his niece was visiting him in hospital when he passed away.

Last year we lost my grandma (his wife) to cancer the nursing home called my dad to say she had taken a turn for worse and he phoned me and my sister to inform us. i had only been to see her day before and she was telling me what she wanted for her birthday in a few weeks time. when i got there i couldn't believe how rapid the deterioration had been and as i used to work as a carer i knew she hadnt got long, the dr came out to visit and told the staff and my dad the same thing. she knew we were there before she died as she kept saying our names. when she actually died me and my sister were holding her hands as my dad had popped out for some fresh air. but about 10 mins before she died she had asked to be washed and put in a fresh nightie, so i think she knew she was on her way to see her beloved husband again. even though hes been gone 20 years and shes been gone a year i still miss them both as when i was a young kid i spent loads of time with them.