Alcoblog Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Ok ... so on Sunday, I decided, mainly due to the clement weather, to completely eradicate everything in the garden which had splendidly represented this years 'Summer' ... sweet peas, nasturtiums etc, to turn it into a blank canvass for the plantation of more winter faring plants ... cyclamen, violas and the like (Daffodils and tulips too), in short ... as anyone who worships Monty Don would sit up and take notice of. I took the opportunity to attempt the demise of a particularly obstinate and obnoxious tree trunk, which, for a number of years, has done its very best to annoy the hell out of me. This involved a cunning plan to undermine the roots, by digging very deeply (2 feet) around them and setting fire to them, courtesy of bits of the wooden garden bench which had been rendered practically useless due to the onset of the progenerative wooden garden bench disease which (I'm reliably informed) is known as 'Rot' Imagine my horror whilst excavating around the intricate root system of the ex-sycamore, that (all of a sudden ... with no malice aforethought) I suddenly heard the most spine -chilling wail ... I'd chopped a frog in half with the garden spade!! God alone knows what it was doing at those depths in the first place ... even a cursory inspection pretty much confirmed that both halves of it were dead ... both the front and the back! I was sick (honestly), but continued to light my garden bench fire ... now considered to be a funeral pyre. A total waste of time as it transpires, as the stump (despite peripheral scorching), now sits smouldering as if to make fun of me in its very existence. Since then, sleep has eluded me and my days are full of the utmost foreboding and dread. What, dear listener, should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quisquose Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Was it raining Attlees and Freuds at the time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnvqsos Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Was it raining Attlees and Freuds at the time? Now thats rank punning of the worst type-your case will attract little clemency, from the judges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quisquose Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Sorry. But somebody who commits frogicide is hardly in a position to refuse clemency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harleyman Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Ok ... so on Sunday, I decided, mainly due to the clement weather, to completely eradicate everything in the garden which had splendidly represented this years 'Summer' ... sweet peas, nasturtiums etc, to turn it into a blank canvass for the plantation of more winter faring plants ... cyclamen, violas and the like (Daffodils and tulips too), in short ... as anyone who worships Monty Don would sit up and take notice of. I took the opportunity to attempt the demise of a particularly obstinate and obnoxious tree trunk, which, for a number of years, has done its very best to annoy the hell out of me. This involved a cunning plan to undermine the roots, by digging very deeply (2 feet) around them and setting fire to them, courtesy of bits of the wooden garden bench which had been rendered practically useless due to the onset of the progenerative wooden garden bench disease which (I'm reliably informed) is known as 'Rot' Imagine my horror whilst excavating around the intricate root system of the ex-sycamore, that (all of a sudden ... with no malice aforethought) I suddenly heard the most spine -chilling wail ... I'd chopped a frog in half with the garden spade!! God alone knows what it was doing at those depths in the first place ... even a cursory inspection pretty much confirmed that both halves of it were dead ... both the front and the back! I was sick (honestly), but continued to light my garden bench fire ... now considered to be a funeral pyre. A total waste of time as it transpires, as the stump (despite peripheral scorching), now sits smouldering as if to make fun of me in its very existence. Since then, sleep has eluded me and my days are full of the utmost foreboding and dread. What, dear listener, should I do? Fry up the half with the legs and throw the other half away. I have eaten frog legs. The French are on to something. They dont taste half bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quisquose Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Tastes like chicken from memory. But then, don't most things? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJRB Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Only time will help diminish the memory,which in my case has been re awakened thanks to your post. A few years ago we excavated a small garden pond having been impressed by Charlie's water feature on telly. It worked quite well for a while,but the few sprigs of water plants and aerating weeds that we put in flourished so that we never saw a fish and it resembled the sort of soup that the first forms of life probably crawled from. After pulling weed out by the armful,I decide that more radical treatment was required. I got a pair of heavy duty scissors to cut through the rafts of roots that had massed under the surface and was happily snipping away when there was a cloud of red and half a frog appeared on the surface. My reaction was similar to that scene in The Godfather with the horses head in the bed. Put me off my dinner and pretty soon after the pond was filled in Sorry froggy,it was an accident that will continue to haunt me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeteMorris Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Alco needs to put the dirt back around the stump, and make it (the stump) into a 'rustic' garden seat. That way, when you're doing the rest of the garden, you can take a few moments to rest on it, admire your handywork and try and forget the summary execution of a perfectly innocent frog. Of course you'll have to put a memorial plaque on the seat in memory of Kermit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quisquose Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Spades and scissors are nothing. Lawnmowers are the weapons of mass destruction as far as frogs are concerned. Take the precautions I mention here: http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?p=9169504#post9169504 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoGo_dancer Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Poor froggies! You can only take comfort in the fact that they met a fairly quick death. I once pulled out an overgrown hedge only to realise there was a nest in there with 3 tiny Blackbird eggs in. The mother was going potty nearby (I thought she was just waiting for the worms) and I quickly moved the nest to a nearby location and went back inside to see what she'd do. She found the nest but knew something wasn't right and abandoned it. The eggs were later taken by a rat or some other predator and I still hate myself for murdering her babies! There's still loads of overgrown bushes at the top of the garden but I keep a close eye now to make sure the birds have finished nesting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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