Denmonte Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 At what age is it normal for children to leave their parents home. Is it 20, 25 or is it 30? If they have not left home by the time that they are 30 can we safely say that we are stuck with them? Are they simply waiting for us to die so that they can then take over our house? Are we doing them an injustice by not encouraging their independence? Do they need their independence to enable them to grow? Is it our responsibility to allow them to stay with us for as long as they wish since we chose to bring them into the world. Personally I have a child at home who is late twenties and never even considers moving and I am wondering if I am doing the right thing in not encouraging her to leave the nest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Umpley Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 i left home at 20. once i was no longer a child i wanted out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plain Talker Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I have been independent of my parents for just shy of 31 years. I left home aged 18, and got my own bedsit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denmonte Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 The two replies are all well and good, but my question is that as a parent should I encourage my child to leave home for her own good, or should I let her leave in her own time, which may be never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sand_dollars Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I always encourage my child to have there own independence although they know I will always be there to support them ever life throws at them .I now say you live in my house and its my rules ,but a child know when they are onto a good thing I`m dreading the day they leave home but they know they have a safe haven and when I`m gone they are set up for life and mortgage free Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Umpley Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 did you encourage him to learn to walk? to ride a bike? to better himself in school? to get a decent job? you have been encouraging him to do things all his life. continue that. give him a months notice 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denmonte Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 did you encourage him to learn to walk? to ride a bike? to better himself in school? to get a decent job? you have been encouraging him to do things all his life. continue that. give him a months notice 8-) It is a she, not a he and it is not easy today to get somewhere to stay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris_Sleeps Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 The bigger questions is that is your child being sensible, and helping in the house, and saving money so they can one day get their own place; or is your child taking advantage, going out all the time, spending all their money, and has no ambition beyond staying with you? They are two very different positions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Umpley Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 true have you raised a young adult or an old child? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denmonte Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 The bigger questions is that is your child being sensible, and helping in the house, and saving money so they can one day get their own place; or is your child taking advantage, going out all the time, spending all their money, and has no ambition beyond staying with you? They are two very different positions. She never even mentions moving. She helps out a little in the house but does not appear to have any plans to move. She does spend all her money and I even helped her pay for a holiday abroad earlier in the year. It is difficult for me to air these views as it is my daughter. ---------- Post added 15-01-2013 at 16:19 ---------- true have you raised a young adult or an old child? She has a very responsible job that does not pay very well. She is very much an adult, but an adult who seems to like home comforts. I think that the housing situation must come into the equation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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