Plain Talker Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Do what I did the other year, when I witnessed a mother treating her little girl horrendously... I went into the school, and asked to speak to the child protection officer. I explained to the CPO what I had witnessed, and my grave concerns. She took a statement from me, and my contact details. The CPO took my concerns on board, and with my description of the parent and the children she had in her "Care", identified the potential family concerned. It sounded like the children's plight was well known to the CPO, from the conversation we had, and that there were already concerns flagged up. Hopefully my statement would have helped get the child the support she and her family needed, and gone some way to protecting her. Please speak to the CPO about your concerns. If your fears (God willing) turn out to be unfounded, and that it's just a parent having an "off day", than all well and good. If it is more serious than that (God forbid), and the child is in need of intervention, then, no problem, the authorities can get the child some safety and security. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jane2008 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 My advice would be to report it straight away to the school. To be honest though I would have had to say something to the Mother when it happened and be loud about it so other potential witnesses would be aware Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plain Talker Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 My advice would be to report it straight away to the school. To be honest though I would have had to say something to the Mother when it happened and be loud about it so other potential witnesses would be aware You never know, though, how the mother might take it out on the child when they are out of earshot, though... She might use your intervention as an excuse to batter the child:- "Now see what bother you've got me into, you little *bleep*!" (not that there is any excuse for battering your child) I think the best policy is to share your concerns with the Child Protection Officer at the school, as they are the ones who have the authority to make any interventions. As "lay" people all we can do is make the report, and ensure the authorities have the information to act upon. We have no legal right to wade in, unfortunately. Many years ago, my mother intervened when a couple were fighting at the very top of a flight of stone steps, and the wife was carrying a babe-in-arms. My mother grabbed the baby for safety's sake, and ran into the house. She was scared that in the struggle between the couple, that the baby was vulnerable to being dropped down the steps, whether that was the child being knocked out of the mother's arms, or the mother was knocked down the steps whilst in the mother's arms... She said "When you've calmed down, and stopped fighting, you can have the baby back." What her good deed got her was a visit from the police, and an accusation of "Child abduction". Instead of being the good guy, she became the villain of the piece! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgksheff Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 ............ As "lay" people all we can do is make the report, and ensure the authorities have the information to act upon. We have no legal right to wade in, unfortunately. ......... Nonsense. Everyone can make their own judgement call, but there are certainly situations when you should not just stand by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheffandy Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Nonsense. Everyone can make their own judgement call, but there are certainly situations when you should not just stand by. By god you are right CGK. If this had happened while I was dropping my 4 year old off at reception class I know for a fact I would have stepped in and then the staff would be in no doubt there was a situation. As mentioned the CPO needs notifying straight away. Maybe even the nspcc or childline? What phrase is it thats mentioned after EVERY news report of a child thats killed or half beaten to death?......"This must never be allowed to happen again." But it does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jane2008 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 You never know, though, how the mother might take it out on the child when they are out of earshot, though... She might use your intervention as an excuse to batter the child:- "Now see what bother you've got me into, you little *bleep*!" (not that there is any excuse for battering your child) I think the best policy is to share your concerns with the Child Protection Officer at the school, as they are the ones who have the authority to make any interventions. As "lay" people all we can do is make the report, and ensure the authorities have the information to act upon. We have no legal right to wade in, unfortunately. Many years ago, my mother intervened when a couple were fighting at the very top of a flight of stone steps, and the wife was carrying a babe-in-arms. My mother grabbed the baby for safety's sake, and ran into the house. She was scared that in the struggle between the couple, that the baby was vulnerable to being dropped down the steps, whether that was the child being knocked out of the mother's arms, or the mother was knocked down the steps whilst in the mother's arms... She said "When you've calmed down, and stopped fighting, you can have the baby back." What her good deed got her was a visit from the police, and an accusation of "Child abduction". Instead of being the good guy, she became the villain of the piece! I see what you mean PT, and of course if my actions got the child another beating I would be devastated. But, the child is going to get another beating anyway, for whatever upsets the Mother next. I would quite happily be the villain of the piece if it meant that I had drawn attention to what was happening to help that child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plain Talker Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I see what you mean PT, and of course if my actions got the child another beating I would be devastated. But, the child is going to get another beating anyway, for whatever upsets the Mother next. I would quite happily be the villain of the piece if it meant that I had drawn attention to what was happening to help that child. I completely understand what you mean, Jane. It's hard, when you witness something like this, and you are desperate to do something to protect the child. My heart was breaking for the child I saw. In the incident I witnessed, I had a good idea about which school the child went to. As this incident happened on a Friday, I could not, realistically, get hold of the CPO there, till the Monday, So I went to the school and spoke to the Head, who was also the CPO. I knew I could not live with myself if I did not speak to the authorities about the incident, and something happened to the little girl. It seemed obvious from the child's body-language that she was used to being treated like this. That made me even more determined to speak out. I just wanted to snatch her up, and give her reassurance, hugs and cuddles. I thought "If I go and inform the CPO, who can liaise with the authorities, they can act, and help the little girl, in ways that I can't." it's hard to make a judgement call, when the parent is a tyrant, as, yes, anything at all can set the abusive behaviour off. But at least if you have taken steps to make the authorities aware, you know that you, personally, have done everything you can to protect the child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jane2008 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 PT, when you witnessed the incident, you did all that you could, which is to be commended. From what the OP posted, this happened in the school with other witnesses so it should be easy to collaborate what happened and get help for this child if the incident is reported. I've got to say I would have probably whacked the 'Mother' round the face if I had seen it. Staffs attention would have been caught then, if only to have me arrested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CandC PAT Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 how awful, no kid deserves that. i do testing at lots of schools and majority have cctv in certain areas, worth asking about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obelix Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 It's been on my mind all day. I want to report it to the right people but for some reason i'm uncomfortable doing so. Any advice please. Pick the phone up dial 101 and tell the police what you told everyone here. Don't feel bad about it - crimes are supposed to be reported to the police. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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