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Extreme Poetry. Any tips?


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I invented Neo-Extreme Poetry several years ago, and am the only writer of its kind in Britain today. I am aiming to get a publishable collection together and would welcome any comments.

 

Here are a couple to start off with.

 

The Awakening.

 

O lonely owl

O boistrous goat

'neath thine eyes the dripping throat

...of time the bloodstained snarling clock

deranged and dizzy crows the ****.

 

 

Gerbils

 

Gerbils tumbling like water

into the void of space

so distant

...so silent

drawn towards a distant star

far

...far away.

 

Gerbils sipping ice-cold drinks by a pool

on the edge of time itself

fading

...fading so fast.

Into a distant Galaxy

so bright

...so light

and Gerbils eat their sandwiches

peacefully.

 

I wish I was a Gerbil.

 

 

 

What do you reckon to them?

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How about this sam,

 

 

Hearts and flowers,

roses,thorns.

Soft as silk,springtime fawns

 

Waterfalls,dew drops,

everything.

autum,winter

awaiting spring.

 

Sharpened silver,

death and life,

tears of salt,

golden knife.

 

 

 

not quite as extreme but not bad me thinks

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Ah, now we're talking! That's an excellent example of neo-seventies bubble-stop verse. Just the right amount of superlative syntax - and it scans beautifully well.

 

However, I would be tempted to include the definite article at the beginning of the last line in the final stanza, just to 'bend the words around the corner', so to speak.

 

Yes, very nice.

 

This is one I wrote for my wife before we were married. It is now a proud part of my Long-Late-Autumn Collection of 1984.

 

Suenos (Dreams)

 

Paper, please! - my friend so small

Your brother's grubby and he's tall

He's signed his cheese-pot

Smoked his wheels

And gargled gladly with his peas.

 

So listen , friend, to me take note

Don't turn this way - don't let life float

Splice the mildew

Quake your beak

And thread your truffles once a week.

 

It still makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end after all these years.

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Well, thank you kindly, Tango. I feel belittled by your sympaticality.

 

I would suggest to you, as I do all my students, that you amble around Fargate one Sunday afternoon until you see what you are looking for. Just smell those colours around you, you'll see what I mean when you get there.

 

Make many notes with words in your mind and then, after numerous hours of ambling, when you are once more in your abode, transfer them to paper and make them sing, and sing out loud!

 

Make them tell the eternal story. Make them shout at the buildings and trees. But most of all, make them caress the very crust of life itself.

 

Ah, I can hear a rainbow!

 

I am off down to Fargate now to conjure up some more work.

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Seeing the title of this thread I assumed the poetry was composed under extreme conditions, in a similar way to extreme ironing.

 

For instance, jumping out of an aeroplane and before the parachute opens:

 

Don't push

The light, so much

The ground, so close

My house, so near

This cord, my lifeline

Safe at last

 

 

Or swimming with sharks:

 

Fish

Why me

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Noooooooo,Sam its only saturdayand its very windy.

 

Gusts aloft,sucking the life from the skies and grasping to the trees.

Clawing at our every sense,kneading the air around us with blustery fingers and blowing arms.

Though deprived of pleasure it carries on,it stays the king of light and natures charms.

 

 

So dont go out its windy

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Heed, I do your warning, Tango. Thoughtful, indeed it was of you to remind me of the gusty conditions on the other side of my meagre walls. O to be home!

 

But, alas! I did manage to conjure up a draft of something which I believe in all seriosity will eventualiate into an important piece of contempory prose.

 

It is, I announce, beneath.

 

Untitled

 

So very much I gazed that sky

brusque dragons blinded ghostly scene

whilst bathed in moonshine - flakes burn dry

so very much that filfth washed clean.

 

So hardly ever shoals glide free

'pon and through life's briny soup

tragic, logic, darkness be

so hardly ever swims the loop.

 

Not ever was that swirling mist

that spiralled deftly t'wards thy door

took heed of life's clenched ugly fist

not ever was the grimy floor.

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Glad it was of some help to you sam,I like to warn people when the weather is in anticipation of being slight of brisk.

I did,however fail to inform you of,

 

Swirling demons,grasping out towards our very inner selfness

clawing inwardly at your soul.

Heartless manifestations,wreeping your fruits of conciousness

your minds eye be their goal.

Salvation be thy only dream,wishing,wanting,loathing

seek out your desire

Though walking on to lower plinth searching,earthen folds

hearts of wind and breath of frozen fire.

 

 

Moral,dont forget your brolley.

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