BEDROCK Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Well, around 5 years being single and it never gets any easier, though nowadays I am managing to cope better. Is anyone else going through lonely times and sees Valentine's Day as another day to cash in and rub your noses in it. Being out of work and battling depression, things like this often really bothers me and social isolation is always a killer. I have things in motion to improve all this like clubbing, Remploy and voluntary work, all the right steps, but being 32 in an empty flat for years on end never gets better, I could have all the material things in the world but without a soul mate and someone to share life experiences with then there will always be a void in my life. Have loads to give someone and make a fresh start, but as the saying goes it is all for nothing if someone does not feel the same in return, I am never a pusher or go chasing am not like that, but I am quietly confident and charming and can be as good as anyone else out there in terms of humour, passion and personality, just never have chance to fully show it. I have tried dating websites and forum events but never enough of the opposite sex to really have contact with. Does anyone else feel the same especially women as I would love to hear if women feel the same and not just blokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plain Talker Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I prefer to be in no relationship, than to put up with a bad relationship. Bedrock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I only fancy two guys out of a hundred which means you're more in with a chance than I am I just don't quite make it, maybe something to do with the fact my birthday is Valentine's Eve and not Valentine's Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isabelle Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I prefer to be in no relationship, than to put up with a bad relationship. I totally agree, I have been single for going on for two years now, I'm at the stage where I am happy to be on my own, I've accepted that maybe I am just one of those people who stays single. I only fancy two guys out of a hundred which means you're more in with a chance than I am I am also incredibly picky, I meet nice men sometimes but there's just no spark there for me, and I'm not going to be with someone just for the sake of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BEDROCK Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 Same here, I have had a few offers over the years and could really have gone for it if you know what I mean, but the attraction was always one way and I did not fancy them like that and was not prepared to lead them on and was always honest how I felt about them, just friends and that is it. I am not a bad person like that and I will always be honest with people, maybe if someone grew on me or there was a spark as you say it would have worked out a few times but have not. Mind you, I have a huge family with cousins and I see everyone getting on in life having kids and making families yet I feel left out, but I suppose on the other hand they have money problems, bought relationships and fake personas so in a way I feel am better off out of it seeing what they go through. I have my independence and brave nature to be adventurous and try new things that my self servant reliance means I am always meant to be a loner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I think we've nailed it girls - the spark, and it has to be mutual;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixie824 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I'm recently single and not looking forward to Valentine's day at all. Bedrock, I know how you feel with the depression, I suffer anxiety and when it's bad I hide myself away from the world. As a single parent though I at least have the distraction of the kids to keep me going but that also means I cant get out to just 'be me' much. I'm not looking for anyone at the moment but that feeling of loneliness is there, especially at times like now, with the kids in bed and I'm sitting here alone. Oh gods, this is sounding depressing isn't it? I know I need to get myself together and be happy before I can even consider looking for someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronthenekred Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I totally agree, I have been single for going on for two years now, I'm at the stage where I am happy to be on my own, I've accepted that maybe I am just one of those people who stays single. I am also incredibly picky, I meet nice men sometimes but there's just no spark there for me, and I'm not going to be with someone just for the sake of it. I've been in relationships where I've been more "alone" than when I've been alone...certainly one relationship that is. I have many choices and invitations which I decline based on the comfort-ability of my own space. Being picky or choosy has a lot to do with how comfortable in your own skin you are. It's a case of what we desire rather than what we perceive as loss. loneliness for me doesn't add into the equation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becky B Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Valentine's Day is a load of claptrap designed to give a chance for people who can't be bothered, to buy a bunch of flowers and declare they are romantic, before going back to being apathetic about their relationship for the rest of the year. OK, maybe it's not quite that bad, but you should show your partner you love them all through the year, not just when everyone else reminds you to... I held no truck with it when I was in a relationship! I'm going to see Bellowhead this year You should pity all the people who've paid over the odds to go out for a meal to 'show their love' because they must do something on this particular day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BEDROCK Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 Yes I have also had relationships where I still felt alone even with them sat bang next to me, like something was missing. I know I am not trying or looking too hard as it will arrive when it does, but times like this we all feel rather cold. Suppose it is best to be alone than in bad relationship, least I only have myself to please. ---------- Post added 10-02-2013 at 21:16 ---------- Valentine's Day is a load of claptrap designed to give a chance for people who can't be bothered, to buy a bunch of flowers and declare they are romantic, before going back to being apathetic about their relationship for the rest of the year. OK, maybe it's not quite that bad, but you should show your partner you love them all through the year, not just when everyone else reminds you to... I held no truck with it when I was in a relationship! I'm going to see Bellowhead this year Yes being appreciative and loyal is something you should show all the time, not exactly saying you need to be there and complement them all the time, lets be realistic here, if they need telling straight or kicking up the ass we all need that and someone that will keep you grounded and speak your mind and tell you the truth, nobody wants liars. Would rather have a big argument where we both say how we feel and get on with the aftermath than live a lie and be under false pretences, just like friendships, relationships need work too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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