Spiky_Head Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Quite frankly, I'm staggered by the completely insensitive posts on here! Utterly staggered!! Words fail me, and that doesn't often happen! Im staggered the op has posted this in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stranza Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Im staggered the op has posted this in the first place. Are you missing the point here? I don't pretend to know the grief Blondie is going through but I can easily imagine how things like carers allowance, which may be small change to you, would have made a difference at the height of her struggle. An extra day out. An extra toy. A meal out treat. A bottle of wine and respite for an evening. I imagine that the hole this has left in Blondies life will be impossible to fill, her trying to inform others who may be in the same situation and maybe ease their struggle is an honourable thing. I despair at the people here trying to sully this and make it about benefit bashing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiky_Head Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Are you missing the point here? I don't pretend to know the grief Blondie is going through but I can easily imagine how things like carers allowance, which may be small change to you, would have made a difference at the height of her struggle. An extra day out. An extra toy. A meal out treat. A bottle of wine and respite for an evening. I imagine that the hole this has left in Blondies life will be impossible to fill, her trying to inform others who may be in the same situation and maybe ease their struggle is an honourable thing. I despair at the people here trying to sully this and make it about benefit bashing. No ones trying to sully anything. This is a forum where people are able to give their point of view. For my part, when i lost my baby after a long struggle, many years of pain and heartache i didnt think to myself, Ohh, how much benefits money should i have got.. Its just not on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie73 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 You are missing the point and I'm sorry you lost your baby. I'm sure I will also have many years of pain and heartache and the benefit loss will be irrelevant.I posted my first post part in self pity and part as a warning to others who maybe missing out. There were times though when we did struggle and it would of been lovely to have been able to do more with her and treat her.That is what upsets me about the benefit,we lost out on memories we could of made.Yes we have many,but that extra trip out somewhere we never got.Not even a holiday in 4 years is my biggest regret for her. Presently it would of now help us out of a big hole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiky_Head Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 You are missing the point and I'm sorry you lost your baby. I'm sure I will also have many years of pain and heartache and the benefit loss will be irrelevant.I posted my first post part in self pity and part as a warning to others who maybe missing out. There were times though when we did struggle and it would of been lovely to have been able to do more with her and treat her.That is what upsets me about the benefit,we lost out on memories we could of made.Yes we have many,but that extra trip out somewhere we never got.Not even a holiday in 4 years is my biggest regret for her. Presently it would of now help us out of a big hole. Those are just things. This is what i dont get with your op. You are upset about not being able to give your child things that lots and lots of people arent able to give their kids. Its sad youve lost your child but you need to move on as best you can. Forget the benefits you could have got. Its not important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stranza Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 No ones trying to sully anything. This is a forum where people are able to give their point of view. For my part, when i lost my baby after a long struggle, many years of pain and heartache i didnt think to myself, Ohh, how much benefits money should i have got.. Its just not on. My condolence for your loss Spikey. I really think you are missing the OP's main point. How I understood it Blondie was trying to educate and help anyone else who may be unfortunately going through similar. She wasn't complaining about lack of benefit or benefit rates she was telling us that an over complicated system supposed to help those in need and supposed to make times like this a fraction less stressful had failed her. She has told us that it would have made a tiny difference to her life so that's good enough to justify her post. I guess that a million and one things are on her mind now, there is nothing to say this was her priority only that this was another straw on the camels back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie73 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 I understand others with kids cannot afford those things either,but very few of them probably have a child who is dying.It's natural to try and cram in as much as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamatron Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Those are just things. This is what i dont get with your op. You are upset about not being able to give your child things that lots and lots of people arent able to give their kids. Its sad youve lost your child but you need to move on as best you can. Forget the benefits you could have got. Its not important. A holiday or day out is not a thing, its an experience to share. I imagine if I were in this situation it could be the most important memory to me. ---------- Post added 20-02-2013 at 11:36 ---------- Read my post again as it was a question, So since your daughter passed away does the money really have any relevance ? Kind of looks like a question to me (question mark gives it away !), I was asking that question as I don't understand and I was hoping for blonde to give me an answer not your self righteous self, blonde could have helped me understand the reasons as to why they are wondering about the money as for as far as I can see I wouldn't be worrying about my bills or money if I lost one of my children, hence why I asked the question so I could get an answer to maybe help me understand abit more. No offence to blondie was intended at all and certainly don't mean to upset anyone but I do have questions and do have an opinion so get off your high horse eh ---------- Post added 19-02-2013 at 14:13 ---------- My apologies I certainly did not mean to upset you, just trying to understand where you are coming from abit, I have children myself and do not know how I would feel if a terrible situation like your arose but I certainly wouldn't think I would be worrying about money but like I said its never happened to me, I wasn't trying to be horrible I apologise if my posts offended or upset you . I agree that you thinly disguised it as a question via the use of a question mark and that you now feel bad for causing offence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie73 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 Thankyou to Stranza,llamatron and others who have tried to help me explain my point of view here.Very touched. However can the mods now please close this thread as some of it has been painful to read,and yes I did open the thread and accept responsibility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeteMorris Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Moderator Note: Thread closed at OP request. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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