minetiger Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Hi I need some advice. There is a court order in place for my ex to access my son. My ex and I broke up as he was sleeping my 'best friend' behind my back and they are still together now 2 years later. They have both been very aggressive towards me, police informed and my ex has a harassment order in place. Not sure if there is one against her although they did say they would talk to her. They both live a fair distance away but his girlfriend always comes with him for handover even though I have requested several times that she doesn't. Today his girlfriend, in my son's presence has threatened me again to the point I want handovers to go through a contact centre. Until I can afford to take it back to court I am going to stop contact. My son is still a toddler so can't leave him alone for handover but can't cope with the intimidation or threats on my doorstep anymore. What are the consequences of me breaking the court order for my own safety and the affect the abuse against me is starting to take on my son. There is no one else available who could do handovers. I can't afford a solicitor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helhol Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Hi I need some advice. There is a court order in place for my ex to access my son. My ex and I broke up as he was sleeping my 'best friend' behind my back and they are still together now 2 years later. They have both been very aggressive towards me, police informed and my ex has a harassment order in place. Not sure if there is one against her although they did say they would talk to her. They both live a fair distance away but his girlfriend always comes with him for handover even though I have requested several times that she doesn't. Today his girlfriend, in my son's presence has threatened me again to the point I want handovers to go through a contact centre. Until I can afford to take it back to court I am going to stop contact. My son is still a toddler so can't leave him alone for handover but can't cope with the intimidation or threats on my doorstep anymore. What are the consequences of me breaking the court order for my own safety and the affect the abuse against me is starting to take on my son. There is no one else available who could do handovers. I can't afford a solicitor. can you get legal aid for an injunction against his girlfriend? then she will be ordered to stay away from you so your son doesnt have to witness the stupidity of her. then if she breaks the order she will be arrested imediately x i would also stop contact until this is sorted for your sons sake x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WallBuilder Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I'd of thought that the police might be able to offer some advice on what to do if they have been involved in the recent past. A hand over could be done in a public place rather than on your door step and I'd be asking a friend to be there just so there'd be a witness if things get unpleasant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgksheff Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Hi I need some advice. ......... The costs of making an Application to Vary a Contact Order are not prohibitive. Go and get a form from the court and submit it. If you breach the current order, you risk fines (unlikely) but more likely you will strengthen his case should he wish to increase contact against your wishes. You would be foolish to breach the current order. Have you reported the threats against you to the police? Without proof, you would be breaching the order without good cause. Write to your ex (recorded delivery) and keep a copy, outlining your concerns and your wishes for peaceful handovers. If the problems continue, write again stating that the situation is not acceptable and that you will suspend contact pending a Variation Order. But you must apply for that variation immediately. Consider applying for a restraining order to keep the girlfriend away from your property. Then again, what is there within the current Contact Order to stop you doing handovers through a Contact Centre now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sazaboo Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 speak to your health visitor, or caffcass or the family court,or a solicitor for a free consultation, also speak to the police again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minetiger Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 I can't get an injunction as she is not family and I don't qualify for legal aid. Police keep telling me they are there to enforce the court order not break it and to go to CAB or back to court. CAB tell me it's a police matter and I currently can't afford the court fees or a solicitor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgksheff Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I can't get an injunction as she is not family and I don't qualify for legal aid. Police keep telling me they are there to enforce the court order not break it and to go to CAB or back to court. CAB tell me it's a police matter and I currently can't afford the court fees or a solicitor. You can apply for a Restraining Order against anyone you want. You will need good reason and evidence to support that application, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minetiger Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 HV already aware an Domestic abuse referrals in place, SS have been informed, police informed and I also have a support worker in place due to the abuse received from them ---------- Post added 24-02-2013 at 18:46 ---------- You can apply for a Restraining Order against anyone you want. You will need good reason and evidence to support that application, though. most solicitors won't touch it. The one that would wanted to charge £3k and couldn't guarantee it would be granted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Js-moves Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 who represented you in the family law case ? can they not help you ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bludragonfly Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I am sorry you are having these problems. I've no idea how these things work but I don't think breaking the current court order re contact is a good idea. Surely the Dad would then go back to court to complain and then you have no idea where the hearing could lead to Just a few thoughts / ideas: - Have you got a friend that could join you for the handover? - If the handover takes place at your home could you set up a hidden camera / voice recorder to record the harassment? - Do you have any contact with a professional such as a health visitor, nursery / school teacher, Sure Start staff etc? If so, could you talk to them about your concerns as they have probably come across similar before and might have some suggestions - Are you a member of Westfield Health - if so, they have a 24 hour telephone helpline which includes legal advice. Also, iif you work, some employers have a similar phone service (often called an EAP) - try contacting an organisation such as http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/ - If the handover takes place at your home could you move it to a more neutral location, perhaps in public which might give less chance for harassment eg in the oasis at Meadowhall? I hope one of these suggestions will help a bit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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