stingray-man Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Quite a simple solution, get some one else to do the handover on your part, Ie parent or sibling or other family member of friend, I presume their is nothing in the court order that says it has to be you doing it. I went through this with my ex, we have a son together and she used to be a right pain in the arse causing hassle all the time and kicking off when we changed over and it got to the point where I dropped him off at my mums and she collected him form their, she never kicked off again as she had no reason to kick off at my mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgksheff Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 HV already aware an Domestic abuse referrals in place, SS have been informed, police informed and I also have a support worker in place due to the abuse received from them ---------- Post added 24-02-2013 at 18:46 ---------- most solicitors won't touch it. The one that would wanted to charge £3k and couldn't guarantee it would be granted I wonder why you have asked for advice? You say that there is already a restraining order against your ex. How did you get that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marx Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 You have to pay to take it back to Court? I was horrified to find that it cost me £180 some years ago to instigate family proceedings against my unemployed ex. If you stop contact will they instigate proceedings? You could be in trouble if you defy the order. Take an independent person with you to handover and inform the CAFCASS Officer who did the original report. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minetiger Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 Thanks for the replies. There is no restraining order against my ex. He has had a warning for harassment however the police have been out twice since then and are doing nothing about it because the court order is in place. There is no one able to do the handover, my brother, mother and father have all tried and all been subject to his abuse and are no longer willing to partake. I have contacted several solicitors re his girlfriend and only 1 has said they are willing to try to get an injunction however they want to charge £3k and wont guarantee it will be awarded. The police have been out yet again today and again I am being referred to a domestic abuse team which last time just sent me a little keyring alarm to set off in case of emergency. My son is witnessing this abuse towards me and this isn't fair on him. I can't cope with this abuse on my doorstep and my children certainly don't deserve to see me like this or to witness this bullying. It seems everywhere I turn I just get fobbed off. I am asking what would happen if I was to stop the contact until either he takes it back to court or I can afford to. I am happy to inform him why contact is being stopped and I have so many emails from him and her, police incident numbers, support worker, and several other professionals able to back me up. Surely the safety of my family should supercede a court order? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgksheff Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 ..........I am asking what would happen if I was to stop the contact until either he takes it back to court or I can afford to. ......... You are inconsistent in the information that you post, which makes it hard to give you good advice. Your question has already been answered. In practice nothing will happen until one of you goes back to court. When that happens you will be in the weaker position by having breached the current order. If there was any evidence to support your claims of threats of violence, you should expect the police to raise charges. As they haven't you should not rely on your claims to support your breach when you later have to explain to the judge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingray-man Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 If you stop contact, and he already has rights by court order he can just ring the police in which case then can get involved to make sure you stick to the court order, when my ex wouldn't return my son I had to call the police and they had to collect my son from her quite a few times, and it makes you look abit silly and less responsible in court, best thing as said above keep on with contact but keep recordings witnesses and a diary of events, but best of all just ignore them they will soon get bored of shouting at someone who doesn't give a reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxforcefive Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 I'd write your ex a letter outlining the threats, how they make you feel and your absolute refusal to deal with or see his partner and see how he responds. That way if the threats get worse and you refuse to do the handover you have evidence of why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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