TJC1 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Was taking a break and reading this article: http://universitypost.dk/article/comment-denmark-bad-everyone-makes-it-seem It seems the danes are pretty stand offish and its hard to make friends. But when I thought about it, the UK is too. When you reach a certain age, I reckon 30 or so it becomes a lot harder to make 'friends'. Those wild 20 something times when making friends was easy are replaced with people having families, careers etc. But then again it poses the question do we need close friends to lead a happy life? We all know friends can be a drag, and it's great to just do whatever you want, when you want and not have to consider others. How much time does one actually have in this day and age to keep a group of close friends anyway. So has having close friends been good for you / made you happy? Or do you not need / have any close friends and are quite happy that way? (disclaimer: I mean close friends, acquaintances or contacts don't count, we all need to know somebody!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waldo Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I don't think "just do whatever you want, when you want and not have to consider others" is mutually exclusive with having friends. It just so happens that the "do what you want to do" part of the equation, often involves being with your friends (that's why they're friends after all, because you enjoy being in each others company). I think happiness and contentment come from yourself, and being yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L00b Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 So has having close friends been good for you / made you happy?Yes. Though I'd be hard-pressed to describe to you how and why in exacting terms (for once ). It's just the sum total of who they are to us, who we are to them, the experiences we have gone through, etc. over -Jeez! - nearly a couple of decades now. Seeing their kids born (hours-old) then grow over the years and celebrating one's 18th with them the other week. Many holidays and 'jetaways' together, special occasions (I stepped in to give the Mrs a way on the morning of their wedding day! needless to say, my english was very approximate in them days, never mind trying to cobble a speech on the back of a fag packet (literally!) in the limo on the way to church )...The kind of friendship that's survived our staggered exiles over time (us into Ireland for 4 years, them down south in Guildford for 6 or 7 years)...The shared life knocks, the shared glories (private jet ride down to London over the Dome & the City, anyone? ), emptying our pockets on the lounge carpet when we were all still very young and broke to see if we had enough coppers for at least 1 round at the local WMC, and so, so much more. Hard to put into words, really. We always have time for them, they always have time for us, and the age-old 'you get to know who you friends are in times of need' is never truer. That doesn't mean we are forever in each other's pockets - at times, we have gone months at a time without seeing one another. But then, there are special occasions every now and then and -perhaps particularly/exceptionally in my case, as my family is overseas and it's been difficult for them to be here, e.g. for UK graduation or qualification ceremonies- I've wanted our close friends to be part of it as they are, literally, held as family. As we are to them. In general (broad brush alert!), I doubt that people have many close friends. I'd expect the definition to apply to maybe 4 or 5 people/persons/families max within someone's social circle...but what do I know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJC1 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 I don't think "just do whatever you want, when you want and not have to consider others" is mutually exclusive with having friends. It just so happens that the "do what you want to do" part of the equation, often involves being with your friends (that's why they're friends after all, because you enjoy being in each others company). I think happiness and contentment come from yourself, and being yourself. I was kinda getting at the going to stuff, going to do sports, going to do anything...you just go and you don't have to compromise or make arrangements....it just happens. I agree the two are not mutually exclusive, you can do everything with friends or everything alone or with your partner say. ---------- Post added 05-03-2013 at 14:18 ---------- Yes. Though I'd be hard-pressed to describe to you how and why in exacting terms (for once ). It's just the sum total of who they are to us, who we are to them, the experiences we have gone through, etc. over -Jeez! - nearly a couple of decades now. Seeing their kids born (hours-old) then grow over the years and celebrating one's 18th with them the other week. Many holidays and 'jetaways' together, special occasions (I stepped in to give the Mrs a way on the morning of their wedding day! needless to say, my english was very approximate in them days, never mind trying to cobble a speech on the back of a fag packet (literally!) in the limo on the way to church )...The kind of friendship that's survived our staggered exiles over time (us into Ireland for 4 years, them down south in Guildford for 6 or 7 years)...The shared life knocks, the shared glories, emptying our pockets on the lounge carpet when we were all still very young and broke to see if we had enough coppers for at least 1 round at the local WMC, and so, so much more. Hard to put into words, really. In general (broad brush alert!), I doubt that people have many close friends. I'd expect the definition to apply to maybe 4 or 5 people/persons/families max within someone's social circle...but what do I know? I think you'd be surprised how many people don't have any close friends or very few. I actually avoid having too many close friends as I have other priorities, Business, a family and a girlfriend. My girlfriends time is constantly taken up with moaning friends wanting something, I'm just way too selfish for that! Good that you have that network though, it sounds like friends have really brought something good to your life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waldo Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I was kinda getting at the going to stuff, going to do sports, going to do anything...you just go and you don't have to compromise or make arrangements....it just happens. I agree the two are not mutually exclusive, you can do everything with friends or everything alone or with your partner say. That's the beauty of good friends, they want you to be doing stuff you want to do, they want you to achieve your dream; and likewise, you want the same for them (unless we're in a half-marathon, then i want them to come in behind me - *evil chuckle*). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jfish1936 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 We moved to Australia. (Five of us in all) A few years later another family moved (six in all) and we lived and worked together. The children were cut off from English cousins, aunts and uncles. So our two families "adopted" each other (informally, no legal paper), and have remained close ever since, even though there's been spread all over Australia; there's now about thirtysix of us. The friendship is close, even between our grandchildren and theirs. *************** Make that about thirtyseven: we have a new great grandson ********************** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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