steviewonder Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 we get people who don't know what a browser is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ha3el Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 when i worked on sales (inbound calls) we sued to get people constantly calling asking for curry or sex toys jus cos it was a freephone number, we would tell them about out range of vibrating mobile phones. then when i worked on parts dept my friend got a call asking for special paint for the microwave as they claimed they had bought a new one and didnt like colour or something and stripped all the paint off but then found out you couldnt use 'ordinary paint' my mate in hysterics and not knowing quite what to say told them to return it to the store where they bought it. Next job workin tech support for a bank we would get ppl who clearly should not be in posession of a computer - nevermind an internet-only bank account! one day i told this lady to click the start button and was told "dont get all technical with me!" ok well you know the mouse - whats the mouse? oh this thing on the desk. a very long call between rantings of why couldnt she just use her e-saver account via a branch and me explaining that it was an internet only account! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steviewonder Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 thats their favourite line, "don't get technical with me" what are these people doing in front of a computer!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatalieSheff Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 my friend had brilliant conversation with one. we've worked in sales and know that legally you can only hold a database for so long b4 you have to buy fresh. she has herslef taken off of junk lists 2months previous when she got a cold call. she gave him some right old grief down the phone asking where he got number and threatened legal action if he ever called again as he was using illegal material etc.... was very funny to watch, as she came off phone and carried on with normal conversation like nothing had happened"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steviewonder Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 thats funny! I don't know whether I can bring myself to talk about the user who didn't know what her desktop was, and started looking actually on her desk for what I was describing!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fox20thc Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Dial-a-Phone rang me last week, really funny < Hi is that Ms Fox? ** yes, speaking < Well my name is George and Im calling from Dial-a-Phone ** Hello < I'm just calling you to say thank you for being such a good customer. ** Oh really? < Yes and to thank you we would like to give you ***(some new flashy phone I never heard of) Absolutely free of charge. ** I don't want one. < but its free. ** Nothings free in life mate < Its a thank you gift for being a good customer ** Im not a customer, never have been and never will be. < Oh, erm ... so you don't want the phone then? ** No ta < Perhaps your husband would like it. ** I don't have one. < Your children? ** Thanks for the offer but no ta. Byeee - and I hung up. WTF? I have never had any business with dial-a-phone so why would they be so insistant I take a phone from them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duffer Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 LOL this thread reminded me of this email a recieved ages ago, ive dug it out and copied it here..... CUSTOMER SERVICE >> >>This is a True story from the WordPerfect Help line that was >>transcribed >>from a recording monitoring the customer care department. This is >>the >>actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee >>and I >>think we can all identify with him. >> >>"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" >> >>"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." >> >>"What sort of trouble?" >> >>"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went >>away." >> >>"Went away?" >> >>"They disappeared." >> >>"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?" >> >>"Nothing." >> >> "Nothing?" >> >>"It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type." >> >>"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" >> >>"How do I tell?" >> >>"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" >> >>"What's a sea-prompt?" >> >>"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" >> >>"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I >>type." >> >>"Does your monitor have a power indicator?" >> >>"What's a monitor?" >> >>"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it >>have a >>little light that tells you when it's on?" >> >>"I don't know." >> >>"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the >>power cord >>goes into it. Can you see that?" >> >>"Yes, I think so." >> >> "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged >>into the >>wall." >> >>"Yes, it is." >> >> "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were >>two >>cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" >> >> "No." >> >> "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find >>the other >>cable." >> >> "Okay, here it is." >> >> "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the >>back of >>your computer." >> >> "I can't reach." >> >> "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" >> >> "No." >> >>"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" >> >>"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because >>it's dark." >> >>"Dark?" >> >>"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming >>in from >>the window." >> >>"Well, turn on the office light then." >> >> "I can't." >> >>"No? Why not?" >> >> "Because there's a power failure." >> >> "A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it >>licked now. Do >>you still have the boxes and manuals and >>packing stuff your Computer came in?" >> >>"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." >> >>"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like >> it was >>when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it >>from." >> >> "Really? Is it that bad?" >> >>"Yes, I'm afraid it is." >> >> "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" >> >>"Tell them you're too f*%$ing stupid to own a computer." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbie Loving Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 heard the last one all before, but to be honest, i cant evisage anyone ever saying such a thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duffer Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Yeah thats what i thought too but i hope it was true just because if it was it would have been brilliant. Ive wanted to say things like that to customers loads when they say things that would make them eligible for a darwin award. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swan_Vesta Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I had a similar call to Fox20thc's and had excellent fun just playing along with the fellow. Phone Hobbit: I see Mr ****, as you have a contract phone would you like to recomend our service to any family or friends? Me: Not really, all my family are dead and my so called friends deserted me when I was grieving for them. Phone Hobbit: >Stunned silence< I'm very, very sorry. >more embarrassed silence< Gotta love screwing with these people - It should be able to be listed as a hobby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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