Disruptive kids are ruining my child's education

[Staunton]

Perhaps the central aspect determining success at school is not the dynamism of the head or the abilities of the class teachers. There is no doubt that these are very important factors, but a crucial circumstance is the person sitting next to you, or, more generally, who else is in the class. If there are disruptive or challenging pupils in a classroom, then it is very likely that the teacher will struggle to deliver a lesson to plan.

 

Schools are working hard to minimise the disruption caused by challenging pupils. Heads are championing a positive discipline ethos, and class teachers are adept at finding means of supporting learning for all class members.

 

But, I would like to consider those disruptive pupils just for a moment.

 

There is no doubt that there are challenging young people out there, and that they are more than capable of disrupting learning for others in school. However,such young people are not in fact troublesome, but troubled.

 

Many young people today are growing up in a poor quality culture – a chaotic home situation, poverty, a poor diet lacking in nutrition and high in chemical additives, stimulants, sweeteners and fats (fast food and ready-meals, carbonated and high energy drinks), lack of sleep (due to parent/s who struggle to develop effective boundaries, together with the addictive qualities of the TV, cellphone, lap-top, or the ever-present and highly seductive computer game), vulnerability to sophisticated brand-led saturation marketing and a stultifying mainstream media focusing on the empty themes of celebrity, sports personality, royalty, sensation and scandal, together with heavily hyped TV franchises such as X-Factor or Big Brother.

 

In other words, many young people are sleep deprived, malnourished, emotionally vulnerable, and beset by a bewildering mental environment.

 

Subjected to such powerful and pervasive influences, many young people in our community are struggling to make sense of their world, and are increasingly casualty to emotional stresses that lead sensitive children to self harm, and more impulsive children to become challenging and confrontational.

 

It is hard to be young in today's social, cultural and economic environment. The fact that so many young people are troubled is a matter that we should all reflect upon with concern and sensitivity, and the evidence that so many children do manage, and do cope so well amid such difficulties, is a triumph to be celebrated.

[PeteMorris]

You'll have to forgive me, but reading your thread/post, I'm slightly puzzled (usual for me), as to what the point of the post is. The thread title says "Disruptive kids are ruining my child's education"...then the entire post seeks to justify it.

 

Is it a complaint?..or is it justification

 

You 'do' sound very much like a social worker. Many years ago, I used to foster 'problem teenagers'...But the social worker always referred to them as 'teenagers with problems'...So I do have lots of experience in dealing with 'disruptive' people. It's not I'm afraid always as per the social workers doctrine.

[quisquose]

Perhaps the central aspect determining success at school is not the dynamism of the head or the abilities of the class teachers. There is no doubt that these are very important factors, but a crucial circumstance is the person sitting next to you, or, more generally, who else is in the class. If there are disruptive or challenging pupils in a classroom, then it is very likely that the teacher will struggle to deliver a lesson to plan.

 

Wouldn't it be nice if we could establish a school where we could exclude such pupils? Maybe we could say this school is attached to some label, a religion maybe, it doesn't really matter what, as long as the parents of these children have to be proactive about thinking about their children's education because we know they won't. Simple, no disruptive pupils, they can just become an increasing burden on the state schools.

 

We could then trumpet about the success of education based on whatever label we chose, whilst secretly knowing it's really about excluding kids of feckless parents, and lobby for more X schools.

 

Great idea don't you think?

[Anna B]

The OP is right. Home influence is vital on a child's educational development, but no matter how many home/school agreements are signed, some parents just don't get it.

 

A lot of kids are allowed to rule the roost thanks to sloppy, idle parenting. It's hard work to do the job right. I know a lot of parents are tired, especially if they work full time, but frankly that's no excuse. I also think it's a mistake to put little ones in nurseries for hours on end. Babies should be learning from adults, not other babies.

 

I don't know what the answer is. Some parents don't have the luxury of choice when it comes to working, but they still have to be good parents - there is no alternative.

[SiSiSi]

The OP is right. Home influence is vital on a child's educational development, but no matter how many home/school agreements are signed, some parents just don't get it.

 

A lot of kids are allowed to rule the roost thanks to sloppy, idle parenting. It's hard work to do the job right. I know a lot of parents are tired, especially if they work full time, but frankly that's no excuse. I also think it's a mistake to put little ones in nurseries for hours on end. Babies should be learning from adults, not other babies.

 

I don't know what the answer is. Some parents don't have the luxury of choice when it comes to working, but they still have to be good parents - there is no alternative.

 

Maybe not, but they do have the choice of bringing children into the world.

[Bargepole23]

The OP is right. Home influence is vital on a child's educational development, but no matter how many home/school agreements are signed, some parents just don't get it.

 

A lot of kids are allowed to rule the roost thanks to sloppy, idle parenting. It's hard work to do the job right. I know a lot of parents are tired, especially if they work full time, but frankly that's no excuse. I also think it's a mistake to put little ones in nurseries for hours on end. Babies should be learning from adults, not other babies.

 

I don't know what the answer is. Some parents don't have the luxury of choice when it comes to working, but they still have to be good parents - there is no alternative.

 

I dont often find myself agreeing with your comments, but on this occasion I would agree wholeheartedly....working full time is no excuse, you still need to put the effort in at home, and those early years at home and school are crucial, both for social and educational development.

[gnvqsos]

Wouldn't it be nice if we could establish a school where we could exclude such pupils? Maybe we could say this school is attached to some label, a religion maybe, it doesn't really matter what, as long as the parents of these children have to be proactive about thinking about their children's education because we know they won't. Simple, no disruptive pupils, they can just become an increasing burden on the state schools.

 

We could then trumpet about the success of education based on whatever label we chose, whilst secretly knowing it's really about excluding kids of feckless parents, and lobby for more X schools.

 

Great idea don't you think?

 

They are called the private sector.

[Staunton]

There are many barriers to effective parenting. As Anna B points out, working parents are under enormous pressure. It seems that most of us are leading an ever more stressed and harrassed existence, and our families and friends are often the casualties of this aspect.

 

Many parents in our more economically marginalised communities are not much more than children themselves. They are often emotionally vulnerable and many are not well equipped to make positive life choices.

 

Effective boundaries and positive communication are skills that parents can learn, however. But there is an urgent need for struggling parents to be treated with some sympathy. There are many barriers that prevent 'good enough' parenting (and most of us can only ever be 'good enough'). Often parents in more marginalised communities are distressed by terrible personal circumstances, having been themselves subject to harsh or unresponsive parenting, and some have no doubt experienced neglect, physical or sexual abuse. There may be a host of emotional difficultes such as anxiety, low self esteem, post-natal depression, or issues relating to domestic violence (being pregnant is a recognised period of increased partner violence towards women), poor educational achievement, or the lack of a stable family network.

 

Parenting is hard work, but it can be done, indeed it is being done by so many families and we must celebrate this. And kids are remarkably resillient. But we must continue to reflect on the way forward with an open mind, and resist stigmatising and blaming the most vulnerable in our communities as we seek a solution to the difficulties that are all too apparent.

[MrSmith]

Maybe not, but they do have the choice of bringing children into the world.

 

Good point.

[Staunton]

Good point.

 

It is a very good point! But surely the issue demands a more sophisticated analysis than the mainstream media seem willing to permit.

 

Many young women in more economically neglected regions become pregnant in order to feel loved, by their partner, or by the child they conceive, or both; or they believe that becoming a mother might give them a feeling of significance in an increasingly empty culture that fails to satisfy our emotional needs.

 

Perhaps we should be asking ourselves how we might develop a more meaningful culture and a more positive and embracing social framework.