Essex school bans triangle flapjack

[Rupert_Baehr]

Seriously, I have to ask.... What is this country coming to??

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-21923218

 

My favourite quote from the page...

 

You might also ask ... What is the BBC News coming to??

 

"It's only because of the way we are funded that we can (get away with) produc[e](ing) programmes the way we do."

[Alcoblog]

It's very easy to mock but for those of us who lived through the "flapjack wars" of the 1980s in which over 150 people were killed, many of them seriously, this is no laughing matter. Banning triangular flapjacks is a start but a square or even rectangular flapjack can easily be converted with a few simple tools available in any school or prison workshop into two improvised scalene triangular "shanks". Only a total ban will prevent a return to the bad old days when patisserie fiends, high on glucose spread fear throughout the land and flapjack crime was so common police declared no go zones for miles around bakeries.

 

Think of the children! :mad:

 

I agree wholeheardedly with you Mr. Gardener ... this is not a laughing matter.

Flapjack triangles should be classed as a 'deadly weapons'.

 

It starts off at school with seemingly low calibre patisseries and continues into adulthood in an altogether more sinister vein.

Take for example this (rather aged) article from the Times in 1971. This is the true fictionalised story of a certain Ernie Price.

(I've cut out most of the reportage, just to leave the salient bit);

 

... 'Now Ernie dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun,

They stood there face to face, and Ted went for his bun.

But Ernie was too quick, things didn't go the way Ted planned,

And a strawberry-flavoured yogurt sent it spinning from his hand.

 

Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart,

And Ernie, he pushed her aside and a rock cake caught him underneath his heart.

And he looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust,

Of a stale flapjack caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust'.

 

Poor Ernie ... he'd still be alive today if the flapjack ban was implemented 42 years ago!

Such was the outcry over Ernie's demise, that His Royal Highness, Sir Lord and Lady Andrew Lloyd-Webber penned

musical in his memory ... now used by the charity 'Flapjack Awareness!' (of which I'm a major subscriber) to get their message across to the millions of people who every year, risk unnecessary suffering to the hands of the illegal Triangle Barons and dealers of the illicit confection.

[Guest]

I particularly like the BBC's "A three-point guide to flapjacks" guide

[Gazza58]

Ive always been scared of those triangle shaped shortbreads,really think they should also be banned.

[howden]

"Catering staff at the school have been told only to serve square or rectangular flapjacks."

 

Just cut one in half corner to corner then you have two triangles.

[SpikeMac]

Surely a square flapjack has one extra point. That makes it 33% more dangerous.

[Gazza58]

Surely a square flapjack has one extra point. That makes it 33% more dangerous.

 

Thats a good point [did you see what i did there:)]

[Ghozer]

Surely a square flapjack has one extra point. That makes it 33% more dangerous.

 

no 25%... i think

[boyfriday]

Just wait until they realise the potential of a chocolate finger.

[wednesday1]

This is just oatrageous