Arrested on suspicion..

[Plain Talker]

Obviously it is you who hasn't got a clue.

Have you ever been raped? I have and ive had to live with it for the last 10 years. I reported him right away and he was arrested and hes still in prison.

Why on earth would i have waited one second let alone 40 years to report this vile act upon my person? I have real difficulty believing some of these allegations. Undoubtedly some if not most will be true but some just smacks of something sinister.

 

you have got it all ass-backwards, JS...

 

Some women (and men) who have endured rape or other sexual assault) are too terrified to speak out about their ordeals....

 

Some (like myself -{ok, when I was molested, this was in the late 1970s} ) were assaulted, and when they went to the police, they were met with derision and disbelief.

 

Some may not feel emotionally strong enough to endure reliving their ordeal in a courtroom (and, seeing how many rape trials pan out, I cannot say I blame them for feeling this way)

 

When I was attacked, in 1984, I lived opposite my rapist. He was a "big name" in the community, (though not famous on the scales of the celebs who have been accused) and I thought that he, as a "Fine upstanding man" was more likely to be believed by the police than myself, who had been unsuccessful in getting police support a few months before this, when I went to the police for help over the domestic abuse I had been suffering.

 

I applied for rehousing, to be moved away from my attacker. The housing service at SCC went on strike, for NINE MONTHS, shortly after the incident. When the medical rehousing officer finally came to see me, in the following April, she said:-

"I understand you were raped...? When was this?"

"It happened on June the ~~~ last year."

"WHAT??? That was nine months ago! You should be over it by now!"

I said "Explain to me, how I am meant to be 'over it', when I'm living opposite from the so-and-so who attacked me, and have to walk past his house whenever I need to go to the shop, or anywhere else?"

 

As with grief, the reactions to being raped, or sexually assaulted, vary from individual to individual. person 'A' might have a nervous breakdown, and become Agoraphobic. Person 'B' might be stoic, and just carry on as if unaffected... Person 'C', might cope, but barely... person 'D' might develop an obsessive compulsive disorder.

 

You never know what route that individual would take.

 

I would say "Great. you had the Strength of character to stand up in a court, and see your attacker sent-down."

 

However, just because you could do so, that does not mean that the woman standing next to you in the queue at the supermarket automatically would be able to do that...

 

It's down to the individual to heal at the pace she is able to, and we can't put time-markers on that recovery, nor can we say they have to use "approach X, Y, or Z..." it might be approach M that works for "Mrs Dietrich" or approach "G" that works for "Ms Limestone".

[mikem8634]

you have got it all ass-backwards, JS...

 

Some women (and men) who have endured rape or other sexual assault) are too terrified to speak out about their ordeals....

 

Some (like myself -{ok, when I was molested, this was in the late 1970s} ) were assaulted, and when they went to the police, they were met with derision and disbelief.

 

Some may not feel emotionally strong enough to endure reliving their ordeal in a courtroom (and, seeing how many rape trials pan out, I cannot say I blame them for feeling this way)

 

When I was attacked, in 1984, I lived opposite my rapist. He was a "big name" in the community, (though not famous on the scales of the celebs who have been accused) and I thought that he, as a "Fine upstanding man" was more likely to be believed by the police than myself, who had been unsuccessful in getting police support a few months before this, when I went to the police for help over the domestic abuse I had been suffering.

 

I applied for rehousing, to be moved away from my attacker. The housing service at SCC went on strike, for NINE MONTHS, shortly after the incident. When the medical rehousing officer finally came to see me, in the following April, she said:-

"I understand you were raped...? When was this?"

"It happened on June the ~~~ last year."

"WHAT??? That was nine months ago! You should be over it by now!"

I said "Explain to me, how I am meant to be 'over it', when I'm living opposite from the so-and-so who attacked me, and have to walk past his house whenever I need to go to the shop, or anywhere else?"

 

As with grief, the reactions to being raped, or sexually assaulted, vary from individual to individual. person 'A' might have a nervous breakdown, and become Agoraphobic. Person 'B' might be stoic, and just carry on as if unaffected... Person 'C', might cope, but barely... person 'D' might develop an obsessive compulsive disorder.

 

You never know what route that individual would take.

 

I would say "Great. you had the Strength of character to stand up in a court, and see your attacker sent-down."

 

However, just because you could do so, that does not mean that the woman standing next to you in the queue at the supermarket automatically would be able to do that...

 

It's down to the individual to heal at the pace she is able to, and we can't put time-markers on that recovery, nor can we say they have to use "approach X, Y, or Z..." it might be approach M that works for "Mrs Dietrich" or approach "G" that works for "Ms Limestone".

 

Very well said, credit to you PT.

[skinz]

 

However, just because you could do so, that does not mean that the woman standing next to you in the queue at the supermarket automatically would be able to do that...

 

It's down to the individual to heal at the pace she is able to, and we can't put time-markers on that recovery, nor can we say they have to use "approach X, Y, or Z..." it might be approach M that works for "Mrs Dietrich" or approach "G" that works for "Ms Limestone".

 

 

Which seems VERY odd coming from a rape victim. It seems like the poster is characterizing victims as all the same...to the point of criticizing a victim for not following her own past experienced guidelines, as if there's some sort of check list. Very odd

 

Mind you that particular posters 1st post was to tear a new ass in Suff.

[Draggletail]

you have got it all ass-backwards, JS...

 

Some women (and men) who have endured rape or other sexual assault) are too terrified to speak out about their ordeals....

 

Some (like myself -{ok, when I was molested, this was in the late 1970s} ) were assaulted, and when they went to the police, they were met with derision and disbelief.

 

Some may not feel emotionally strong enough to endure reliving their ordeal in a courtroom (and, seeing how many rape trials pan out, I cannot say I blame them for feeling this way)

 

When I was attacked, in 1984, I lived opposite my rapist. He was a "big name" in the community, (though not famous on the scales of the celebs who have been accused) and I thought that he, as a "Fine upstanding man" was more likely to be believed by the police than myself, who had been unsuccessful in getting police support a few months before this, when I went to the police for help over the domestic abuse I had been suffering.

 

I applied for rehousing, to be moved away from my attacker. The housing service at SCC went on strike, for NINE MONTHS, shortly after the incident. When the medical rehousing officer finally came to see me, in the following April, she said:-

"I understand you were raped...? When was this?"

"It happened on June the ~~~ last year."

"WHAT??? That was nine months ago! You should be over it by now!"

I said "Explain to me, how I am meant to be 'over it', when I'm living opposite from the so-and-so who attacked me, and have to walk past his house whenever I need to go to the shop, or anywhere else?"

 

As with grief, the reactions to being raped, or sexually assaulted, vary from individual to individual. person 'A' might have a nervous breakdown, and become Agoraphobic. Person 'B' might be stoic, and just carry on as if unaffected... Person 'C', might cope, but barely... person 'D' might develop an obsessive compulsive disorder.

 

You never know what route that individual would take.

 

I would say "Great. you had the Strength of character to stand up in a court, and see your attacker sent-down."

 

However, just because you could do so, that does not mean that the woman standing next to you in the queue at the supermarket automatically would be able to do that...

 

It's down to the individual to heal at the pace she is able to, and we can't put time-markers on that recovery, nor can we say they have to use "approach X, Y, or Z..." it might be approach M that works for "Mrs Dietrich" or approach "G" that works for "Ms Limestone".

 

Great post PT, well stated.

[Plain Talker]

Great post PT, well stated.

 

Cheers, Draggletail.

 

Some of us are on first name terms with the concept of picking ourselves up and getting on with things, when disaster strikes, and burying what has happened, somewhere, deep inside. Others aren't so good. One size does not fit all.

 

As I said, it's the same with grief.

 

You can't say:-

 

"Well Fred was okay after three or four weeks of losing his wife, so, by extrapolation, Jack should not still be bursting into tears at five months after!"

[Glamrocker]

It's a great piece isn't it which clearly and unequivocally demonstrates that the author of that letter had zero interest in compensation etc. Trouble is, Halibut, some people do insist on judging others by their own lowly and questionable standards.

Strange theres nothing in the court report of a anonymous letter which instigated the proceedings.

[stereolab]

Strange theres nothing in the court report of a anonymous letter which instigated the proceedings.

 

Do you have a link to the court report?

 

Would this even be included anyway? It might not have been part of the evidence.

[Halibut]

Strange theres nothing in the court report of a anonymous letter which instigated the proceedings.

 

Casting aspersions again - and as usual without foundation. Anyone would think you didn't want women to be believed or something.

[Suffragette1]

you have got it all ass-backwards, JS...

 

Some women (and men) who have endured rape or other sexual assault) are too terrified to speak out about their ordeals....

 

Some (like myself -{ok, when I was molested, this was in the late 1970s} ) were assaulted, and when they went to the police, they were met with derision and disbelief.

 

Some may not feel emotionally strong enough to endure reliving their ordeal in a courtroom (and, seeing how many rape trials pan out, I cannot say I blame them for feeling this way)

 

When I was attacked, in 1984, I lived opposite my rapist. He was a "big name" in the community, (though not famous on the scales of the celebs who have been accused) and I thought that he, as a "Fine upstanding man" was more likely to be believed by the police than myself, who had been unsuccessful in getting police support a few months before this, when I went to the police for help over the domestic abuse I had been suffering.

 

I applied for rehousing, to be moved away from my attacker. The housing service at SCC went on strike, for NINE MONTHS, shortly after the incident. When the medical rehousing officer finally came to see me, in the following April, she said:-

"I understand you were raped...? When was this?"

"It happened on June the ~~~ last year."

"WHAT??? That was nine months ago! You should be over it by now!"

I said "Explain to me, how I am meant to be 'over it', when I'm living opposite from the so-and-so who attacked me, and have to walk past his house whenever I need to go to the shop, or anywhere else?"

 

As with grief, the reactions to being raped, or sexually assaulted, vary from individual to individual. person 'A' might have a nervous breakdown, and become Agoraphobic. Person 'B' might be stoic, and just carry on as if unaffected... Person 'C', might cope, but barely... person 'D' might develop an obsessive compulsive disorder.

 

You never know what route that individual would take.

 

I would say "Great. you had the Strength of character to stand up in a court, and see your attacker sent-down."

 

However, just because you could do so, that does not mean that the woman standing next to you in the queue at the supermarket automatically would be able to do that...

 

It's down to the individual to heal at the pace she is able to, and we can't put time-markers on that recovery, nor can we say they have to use "approach X, Y, or Z..." it might be approach M that works for "Mrs Dietrich" or approach "G" that works for "Ms Limestone".

 

This is very true, PT. Every survivor is different, reacts differently and has different coping strategies. Every healing journey is different, some take a life time, others bury what has happened to them.

 

The reporting issue is as I stated, sexual abuse and rape are very underreported. Some survivors will only recognise what happened to them was rape, years after the event.

 

---------- Post added 03-05-2013 at 08:22 ----------

 

Strange theres nothing in the court report of a anonymous letter which instigated the proceedings.

 

Are you accusing Yasmin Alibhai-Brown of lying?

[Jim Stark]

This is very true, PT. Every survivor is different, reacts differently and has different coping strategies. Every healing journey is different, some take a life time, others bury what has happened to them.

 

The reporting issue is as I stated, sexual abuse and rape are very underreported. Some survivors will only recognise what happened to them was rape, years after the event.

 

---------- Post added 03-05-2013 at 08:22 ----------

 

 

Are you accusing Yasmin Alibhai-Brown of lying?

 

Read up about Malcolm Blackman, his life is in ruins because he was named before being found innocent of any crime.