WeX Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 You're comparing rape, to looking after a car?? No, its a tenuous attempt to liken the support people get after they are abused to an every day situation, because lets face it, we are lucky to have never been the victim of such abuse, so we only have a secondary opinion on its effects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mort Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 If you cannot remain civil i will be happy to issue suspensions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister M Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 Where have i shown lack of empathy? I dont agree with the term survivor. Why does that mean i dont empathies with people who have been through the same as me? Your statement of how you refuse to be a victim in opposition to the apparent 'weakness' of those that do struggle to come to terms with what's happened to them. It's not so much what you wrote, but what you didn't write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Sarah Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 Thank you mort ---------- Post added 10-05-2013 at 11:47 ---------- Your statement of how you refuse to be a victim in opposition to the apparent 'weakness' of those that do struggle to come to terms with what's happened to them. It's not so much what you wrote, but what you didn't write. Hold on! Ive been slagged off for what ive wrote. Ive been accused of having more than one account. Ive been called names. But this is a good one, now im being had a go at for something i DIDNT say??? Theres a word for all this. Bullying!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonzo77 Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 No, its a tenuous attempt to liken the support people get after they are abused to an every day situation, because lets face it, we are lucky to have never been the victim of such abuse, so we only have a secondary opinion on its effects. Sexual abuse isn't an every day situation. Why try to liken it to an every day situation? And, why do you think that the support isn't sufficient for victims? Some of them might be too ashamed to come forward and ask for help. Sometimes it takes many years for people to admit that they have been abused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 Where have i shown lack of empathy? I dont agree with the term survivor. Why does that mean i dont empathies with people who have been through the same as me? Your very 1st post "Obviously it is you who hasn't got a clue. Have you ever been raped? I have and ive had to live with it for the last 10 years. I reported him right away and he was arrested and hes still in prison. Why on earth would i have waited one second let alone 40 years to report this vile act upon my person? I have real difficulty believing some of these allegations. Undoubtedly some if not most will be true but some just smacks of something sinister". Basically what you are saying is the victim should react in exactly the same way as you supposedly did, which seems to suggest that rape and victims fit neatly in a shoebox...which obviously isn't the case and anyone especially who experienced abuse would empathize with a fellow victim, regardless of the circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonzo77 Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 Your very 1st post "Obviously it is you who hasn't got a clue. Have you ever been raped? I have and ive had to live with it for the last 10 years. I reported him right away and he was arrested and hes still in prison. That seems like a lengthy sentence for rape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeX Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 Sexual abuse isn't an every day situation. Why try to liken it to an every day situation? And, why do you think that the support isn't sufficient for victims? Some of them might be too ashamed to come forward and ask for help. Sometimes it takes many years for people to admit that they have been abused. I'm likening it to an every day situation as you seem unable to understand my viewpoint. Why do I think the support is insufficient? If you had read the link provided by andygardener where it states: TheGuardian has learned that Andrade, 48, texted a friend three days before her death to say she felt like she had been "raped all over again" after appearing in the witness box at Manchester crown court last month to face Brewer. Complaining about a robust cross-examination by Brewer's barrister, who accused her of telling "a pack of lies", she wrote sarcastically: "I'm a fantasist with the Electra complex seeking attention." The judge later said the cross-examination was proper and correct. Andrade had not initiated the police investigation which led to the trial. Friends said she did not present herself as a "victim" and would have hated to be seen as such. They say she never wanted to give evidence against the Brewers. You may come to the same conclusion. This woman was obviously suffering but was not given support. If she had, I believe she would still be alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 Congratulations on your fortitude Sarah but many men and women who have gone through the ordeal of rape and abuse struggle with what has happened to them. Everybody is different, that you have apparently moved on and got on with your life doesn't invalidate other people's experinces. Your apparent lack of empathy for others is troubling. Do you think that others who experience psychiatric disturbances after being assaulted are somehow weak? The majority don't get their day in court or get to see justice for the crimes committed against them. In my experience, this is one of the biggest obstacles to healing. Many have the horrors of ongoing vulnerability (and even assaults) of having to see (and even live with) their rapist on a regular basis which is extremely traumatic. PTSD is quite common. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halibut Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 Thank you mort ---------- Post added 10-05-2013 at 11:47 ---------- Hold on! Ive been slagged off for what ive wrote. Ive been accused of having more than one account. Ive been called names. But this is a good one, now im being had a go at for something i DIDNT say??? Theres a word for all this. Bullying!! Hold on there sister (or is it brother?) that is not what is happening here. The whole tenor of your previous posting has been trying to minimise the damage that rape does. People have taken issue with that. It does you little credit if you start to cry about being bullied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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