I need help (depression)

[SportsTrophy]

Great news that you feel better after sticking with the medication. It is hard sometimes to take advice and stick with it for as long as you did without seeing a positive change. Well done !

 

No one's perfect and trying to overcome personal difficulties is everyone's challenge so you are not on your own. Groups like Sheffield Mind are great and to me should be as big as a hospital not a converted house.

[Banyer]

Hi can I ask how old you are, I don't mean to be rude but just curious. My son is 19 and he has similar problems. He is waiting to hear from hospital to see if he has Asperger's, he already has dyspraxia and is dyslexic. And on top of that he is just recovering from kidney cancer. It was actually his consultant that suggested he has Asperger's, and a few nurse's. It sounds really dome and gloom but he has a good sense of humour about things(between his family ) The thing that gets him down is having no friends, he finds it really hard work. He does the usual teenage lads do x- box live but no real human contact with actual friends. He's been bullied in past, he just doesn't always get other lads banter. So that as scarred him a little. He's got an older brother but I don't think its same as having friends.

As for you getting a job, I would go down the route of volunteering that way if you have a bad day and can't make it in it won't be as bad. Start of small like an hour or so and build up. My son deferred college for a year and he's going back in September, but he is so nervous and anxious. I hope things work out for you, as I am sure they will.

 

Wow Paula, I'm sorry about the kidney cancer; I've known a surprising amount of people who have had various forms of cancer and it is never easy to deal with.

 

You're son sounds a lot like me; I spend the vast majority of my time playing games on the PS3 or the PC and have both Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. I also found that when I was 18 was when I made my first real friend face to face, though this was due to me taking up lessons on how to read body language and how to tell facial expressions (something I was never able to do) and then trying to judge my responses to people from there. If he also has difficulty picking up on these signs, I highly recommend it, especially since he's going back to college soon. He has just long enough to learn the skills and then to apply them and analyze his findings. Granted, social interactions take a lot of effort and still frequently go awkwardly wrong so it will never be easy, but it can certainly improve things.

 

I was very surprised after going into University after doing this course that I was not only able to make some friends but I turned out to be a pretty good group leader too. When you compare this to being in fights all day every day in school due to you being different, it was quite an eye opener. Granted this was because of heightened logical, analytical and strategic functioning which most people with Aspbergers have, by time it got to the final year my group was the largest group in the course and had everyone in the group pass with desired results, somewhat of a rarity in a difficult software development course.

 

I was scared of going into College and University myself, mainly because of all the people around, which became somewhat worse as the work in College turned out to be too basic and unchallenging, however it was worth the endurance in the long run as University was the best time in my life.

 

Don't worry about his potential condition holding him back, I did not find out that I had Aspberger's until I was 18 as my parents hidden it from me in an attempt that I would grow up normally. Most people with Aspberger's are very high functioning and can do things that many people without it cannot. Although I am only 24; I have two titles in my name (one from University, another from an honorary reward), I have made software applications which have saved companies million's of pounds (and didn't see a single penny of it!) and have been independent, living on my own since I was 20.

 

If he does turn out to have Aspbergers, there's a site called Wrong planet which can be useful to learn more about the condition, though be wary that most of us "Aspies" can be quite cynical and pessimistic at times yet can also become rather emotional, so don't everything at face value.

 

---------- Post added 25-07-2013 at 11:33 ----------

 

Having just read for the first time how you were feeling when you opened the thread some weeks ago, it was so refreshing to hear of your progress.

Even though you are still struggling you sound so much more positive, I hope you continue to receive the support you need.

 

 

I expect you are aware about the Sheffield Asperger Syndrome Service

 

Thank you Janie, I did not know about that, I will have a look at it!

 

Again, thank you guys for your support and suggestions of keeping trying new things, I'm slowly getting into cooking and baking and am enjoying making food for my friends whenever I visit them. I am hoping to find a sport to participate in too however I do not want anything too aggressive like football or rugby.

[Blade73]

Wow Paula, I'm sorry about the kidney cancer; I've known a surprising amount of people who have had various forms of cancer and it is never easy to deal with.

 

You're son sounds a lot like me; I spend the vast majority of my time playing games on the PS3 or the PC and have both Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. I also found that when I was 18 was when I made my first real friend face to face, though this was due to me taking up lessons on how to read body language and how to tell facial expressions (something I was never able to do) and then trying to judge my responses to people from there. If he also has difficulty picking up on these signs, I highly recommend it, especially since he's going back to college soon. He has just long enough to learn the skills and then to apply them and analyze his findings. Granted, social interactions take a lot of effort and still frequently go awkwardly wrong so it will never be easy, but it can certainly improve things.

 

I was very surprised after going into University after doing this course that I was not only able to make some friends but I turned out to be a pretty good group leader too. When you compare this to being in fights all day every day in school due to you being different, it was quite an eye opener. Granted this was because of heightened logical, analytical and strategic functioning which most people with Aspbergers have, by time it got to the final year my group was the largest group in the course and had everyone in the group pass with desired results, somewhat of a rarity in a difficult software development course.

 

I was scared of going into College and University myself, mainly because of all the people around, which became somewhat worse as the work in College turned out to be too basic and unchallenging, however it was worth the endurance in the long run as University was the best time in my life.

 

Don't worry about his potential condition holding him back, I did not find out that I had Aspberger's until I was 18 as my parents hidden it from me in an attempt that I would grow up normally. Most people with Aspberger's are very high functioning and can do things that many people without it cannot. Although I am only 24; I have two titles in my name (one from University, another from an honorary reward), I have made software applications which have saved companies million's of pounds (and didn't see a single penny of it!) and have been independent, living on my own since I was 20.

 

If he does turn out to have Aspbergers, there's a site called Wrong planet which can be useful to learn more about the condition, though be wary that most of us "Aspies" can be quite cynical and pessimistic at times yet can also become rather emotional, so don't everything at face value.

 

---------- Post added 25-07-2013 at 11:33 ----------

 

 

Thank you Janie, I did not know about that, I will have a look at it!

 

Again, thank you guys for your support and suggestions of keeping trying new things, I'm slowly getting into cooking and baking and am enjoying making food for my friends whenever I visit them. I am hoping to find a sport to participate in too however I do not want anything too aggressive like football or rugby.

 

That's impressive fella, just keep plugging away and hopefully you'll find the things you're wanting will fall into place. Sounds like the financial and working sides to your life or pretty under control so you can put more energy into your social side I guess. What sports you like? Look for groups in that sport, there's usually a few for most sports out there

[Super Hans]

Pills mate, pills will make everything better.

[hyper]

interesting take from an aspie. Hope you are able to open it. I can at home and can't at work cos of blockers.

 

http://aspienaut.tumblr.com/

[Banyer]

interesting take from an aspie. Hope you are able to open it. I can at home and can't at work cos of blockers.

 

Some interesting and some very similar thoughts in that blog, thanks Hyper. Glad to see another Aspie who has heightened sense of hearing, it's hell when your trying to sleep.

 

Thanks for your support Blade, unfortunately I can't send PM's until I have five posts!

[Anna B]

Glad to hear things are moving in the right direction Banyer.

 

Thanks for the update.

[johncocker]

Some interesting and some very similar thoughts in that blog, thanks Hyper. Glad to see another Aspie who has heightened sense of hearing, it's hell when your trying to sleep.

 

Thanks for your support Blade, unfortunately I can't send PM's until I have five posts!

 

just a thought banyer but ,

I'd be interested to know how feel when you see a music video like this ?

 

 

[Mecky]

Perhaps going back to work will be a step towards improvement.

 

Being alone all day cannot be helpful and the workplace is often a natural conduit to building contacts.

 

Even volunteering is a good start.

 

Didn't he just say he hates everyone?

[Waldo]

Well how the self obsessed indulge in psychological introspection never ceases to fascinate me.

 

Its a modern condition in our 2.5 million year evolutionary history, or when we started to play with tools in a serious way. So why were not our ancestors depressed? What might be the survival strategy of such a condition? Answer is not just food for thought but food for predators. So for millions of years depression was not an option, no pills, no medical help, no need for either, as it had not been necessary to invent it.

 

But today in a world of individuals where one when the chips are down are generally on one's own, and the struggle for survival is nursed through the benefit system as opposed to begging or slowly starving to death as in underdeveloped countries.

 

Had a bad day did we? Did the earth stop just for you? If not why not, are you really or is anyone that important? If you are not physically disabled, so all body parts function, and you do not dribble and stare at the world in confusion, one would not be able to write on this forum would one. If your bits and pieces all work fine apart from depression and other self obsessions, then potentially you could do anything. Fear of failure is just a fear, another self obsession many love to worship. Remember one rule in this world, "if a human can do it so can you" all you need is determination and that is not on sale at Tesco's. You just have to learn to want to do something, anything, and let that sensation grow, don't listen to anyone but your desire, adn you will be surprised where it could take you.

 

On the other hand, why not just do nothing, feel awful, it gives one a feeling on is alive, and moaning at yourself, will prepare you for moaning in the future about otehrs in a more constructive way.

 

Reminds me of something Louis CK would talk about...

 

White Man Problems. It's when things are so amazingly good in our lives, we need to make s..t up to be miserable about.

 

To the OP...

 

Just that we are here, alive, that we are aware. That's awesome! Stop thinking you're inadequate in any way or that you don't measure up to other people. Love yourself and appreciate all your quirks and everything that makes you unique and different from everyone else. All the things you think are bad about yourself, how can you turn all that around, and use to your own advantage? Sounds like you have some good skills and abilities, why not put them to use?

 

Think yourself lucky, that you have these challenges in life.