Good parenting?

[Chris_Sleeps]

I was smacked as a child too. I can't say it did me harm either, but I also find that an odd.conclusion. I don't know what my life would be like if I wasn't smacked.

 

Equally, as a child, I used to hit my younger sister. I don't think my parents hitting me was teaching me very well that one shouldn't hit younger sisters. I have wonderful parents also, I cannot complain in the slightest.

 

I also remember being older, around 9 but I can't pinpoint the memory - I still had Thundercats wallpaper. Anyway, my Mum hit me and I told her that I didn't hit her, so she had no reason to hit me. When a child is old enough to moralise then it's definitely wrong to hit them.

[Watson B]

I was smacked as a child too. I can't say it did me harm either, but I also find that an odd.conclusion. I don't know what my life would be like if I wasn't smacked.

 

Equally, as a child, I used to hit my younger sister. I don't think my parents hitting me was teaching me very well that one shouldn't hit younger sisters. I have wonderful parents also, I cannot complain in the slightest.

 

I also remember being older, around 9 but I can't pinpoint the memory - I still had Thundercats wallpaper. Anyway, my Mum hit me and I told her that I didn't hit her, so she had no reason to hit me. When a child is old enough to moralise then it's definitely wrong to hit them.

 

Totally agree with you there.

As for the resat of your post, its pretty much a mirror image of my childhood. Well apart from the sister thing, i had a brother but apart from that, pretty similar!

[L00b]

Anyway i heard her tell this lad, "you do it again and ill crack ya" and without hesitation he actually tried to run across the road again. So true to her word she cracked him.

 

Even if you dont agree with smacking kids, do you agree that she did the right thing following through with the warning?

Quite crude educating, but yes, as a matter of principle - because:

i see too many parents use pointless and meaningless threats to their kids with no intention of ever carrying them out. Now i think this is more dangerous than smacking as the kids never learn boundaries

Fully agree. Kids need to be taught boundaries from the first age, then consistently until such time as they understand and adhere to them - IMHO that's where learning the general principle of "respect" starts.

Also what do you think of the other parent?

 

The one who used threats of violence to another mum for disciplining her own child?

I'd have cracked her one too

[Strix]

Erm, no. what a stupid thing to say

 

No it isn't. Children are somewhat literal. If you stop and examine half the things we trot out without thinking about them, they're utter nonsense (as in this case)

 

No wonder foreigners struggle with our language. We're so incapable of expressing ourselves sensibly

 

Why did this woman tell her kid to run out in the road? That is actually what she did. And he did as she told him to

[Lockjaw]

If you stop and examine half the things we trot out without thinking about them, they're utter nonsense (as in this case)

 

 

"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry for!"

 

---------- Post added 07-06-2013 at 11:13 ----------

 

Quite crude educating, but yes, as a matter of principle - because:

Fully agree. Kids need to be taught boundaries from the first age, then consistently until such time as they understand and adhere to them - IMHO that's where learning the general principle of "respect" starts.

I'd have cracked her one too

 

If only we had a "like" "button"...

[Watson B]

Quite crude educating, but yes, as a matter of principle - because:

Fully agree. Kids need to be taught boundaries from the first age, then consistently until such time as they understand and adhere to them - IMHO that's where learning the general principle of "respect" starts.

I'd have cracked her one too

 

:hihi:

 

---------- Post added 07-06-2013 at 11:31 ----------

 

No it isn't. Children are somewhat literal.

 

Yes it is.

At no point did i say the words i used were verbatim.

If you want me to be 100% specific then she actually said.

"ive ****ing told you about running into the road before. Your going to get yourself run over. DONT leave my side and DONT go near that road again. You do it again and ill crack ya"

 

Now thats as close to word for word as i can recall.

So, as i said. Yes it is.

 

This is where you whinge about how i lied in my op, changed the words to fit what i wanted them to or some other childish crap that seems to go down so well on here.

[Chris_Sleeps]

Kids need to be taught boundaries from the first age, then consistently until such time as they understand and adhere to them - IMHO that's where learning the general principle of "respect" starts.

It's possible to teach boundaries without smacking a child, and also to fail teaching boundaries when smacking a child.

[Strix]

:hihi:

 

---------- Post added 07-06-2013 at 11:31 ----------

 

 

Yes it is.

At no point did i say the words i used were verbatim.

If you want me to be 100% specific then she actually said.

"ive ****ing told you about running into the road before. Your going to get yourself run over. DONT leave my side and DONT go near that road again. You do it again and ill crack ya"

 

Now thats as close to word for word as i can recall.

So, as i said. Yes it is.

 

This is where you whinge about how i lied in my op, changed the words to fit what i wanted them to or some other childish crap that seems to go down so well on here.

 

I can only respond to the information given. Perhaps you could PM me with the responses you'd like me to give in future. I don't do whingeing, but I do add trolls to my ignore list. It saves so much time

[L00b]

It's possible to teach boundaries without smacking a child, and also to fail teaching boundaries when smacking a child.

Absolutely. But that was not the situation posited, and queried, by the OP.

 

Neither my wife nor I ever had the slightest need to even raise a hand with our child. Even though, character-wise, she's mostly "me"

 

I put it down to good parenting, even if I will say so myself: plenty enough non-physical threats have been made if/as/when required over the years, then duly acted upon where required by our child's continuing acts/behaviour.

 

Usually time-limited deprivations of toys, TV, computer, consoles, etc, etc. on a sliding scale and with 'escalating' measures (a half-day, a day, a week; TV first, TV and computer next, TV/computer/playroom access next; no sleepover this term; etc, etc. - pick stuff/activities that really inconveniences them majorly). Not forgetting the "naughty step" in the early years.

 

Enough of that (appropriately of course), consistently enough (proportionately to the 'offense' of course), over enough years - and the barriers are understood and by and large mostly adhered to, and violence never even need be threatened.

 

Of course, for it to work, all of this hinges on being actively/permanently/steadfastly interested in the development of your child, rather than what effectively amounts to situation-caused, ad hoc parenting (I'm sure you and most here know the type, and would suspect the mother in the OP was just that type).

[Watson B]

I can only respond to the information given. Perhaps you could PM me with the responses you'd like me to give in future. I don't do whingeing, but I do add trolls to my ignore list. It saves so much time

 

I didnt realise you could add yourself

 

Right, youve had your say and given your "opinion".

Bye then