Ousetunes Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 I had an indian fella call me on Friday evening to tell me I had had an accident. I have just moved house and this was the first time the newly installed phone had rung. I'd been on the shandy since I got home - weekend and all that - so I thought I'd string him along. I said not only had I had an accident but that I was still covered in blood. I then decided to communicate in Hindi and the conversation progressed with my still insisting that I was in a bad way and larka, did I want some compo (larka being Hindi for boy!). Anyway, his Hindi was better than mine, naturally, so I told him to dhiree, dhiree bolie (speak very slowly) and after about 5 minutes, he caught on what I was up to; he hung up on me with the line "you are a mad man!" RESULT. Some years back, a lady ran into my car. It severely dented the offside front and back door so badly I had to climb over from the passenger's door to get in. Her insurers settled promptly but it was no surprise when I received a call a few weeks later asking if I wanted to claim for whiplash I had suffered during the accident. The muppet went quiet when I told her I wasn't even sitting in the car at the time of the accident; it happened in my (then) company's car park and she was actually a customer of mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harleyman Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Answer telephone. If this is a survet the charge for the survey will be £1 peer minute. Please reply to the e-mail adddress stating the following. 1) How long the survey will be? 2)The name and address of the company that requires the survey? 3)How the cost of the survey will be paid? 4) How you will gaurantee payment for the survey? 5) At this point a password will be sent stating a famous SHEFFIELD landmark on receipt of the cheque payment. 6) on reply to this a time and day of when the survey will be arrange? They totally had there mind screwed up. post deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUZZIOWL Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I've loads of these calls from Alan , Adam , Ralph and Joyce to name a few ...but I've just had a call from Jake ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassy Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 i had a very persistent call from a firm selling double glazing constantly for weeks so i finally stayed on the line and let them go all through their spiel and finally i ordered practically everything they were selling, new doors inside and out, new windows and a very large and expensive conservatory and when they asked for my address i told them it was on the 15th floor of a tower block...........they didnt pester me anymore after that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phanerothyme Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I have this bookmarked for telesales/marketing calls - http://egbg.home.xs4all.nl/counterscript.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUZZIOWL Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 Had a call from 'James ' 20 minutes ago ...I told him about all the other calls from Alan ,Adam , Ralph etc and told him it was getting 'Boring' ...he hung up just as I was getting started Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLASGOWOODS Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 I just serenade them with a bit of Engelbert Humperdinks please release me let me go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 i like to play a game of how long can i keep you on the line!!.....when the caller rings and asks for so and so just say hold on a minute....then put the phone down and keep coming back to phone at intervals of 2 or 3 mins saying "hes just coming".......had one poor guy on for over half an hour.............he didnt call back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLASGOWOODS Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 It's a pity I cant synchronise a bit of flatulence with the phone ringing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUZZIOWL Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 I just serenade them with a bit of Engelbert Humperdinks please release me let me go. when 'Jake' rang ..I didn't think at the time ....but I should've started singing that hit by Free ....My Brother Jake ....or there again ...My Buddah Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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