andrejuan Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 This is what I suggest. Next time he calls round, be just as you normally are, but after a short time say sorry but you really have to get some things done and you need to cut the eve short this time. Suggest he calls round again but make a firm arrangement on a prearranged day. Make this double the time he would normally wait before coming back, and make a point of saying "see you a week on thurs then" or whatever. If you bump into him say "don't forget next Thurs" Once you have established arranged visits only, you can keep extending the gap until you just have a drink at Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waldo Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Thanks, guys. I think a more blunt approach is in order. Yeah, just be honest, polite, and blunt. You're well within your rights to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megalithic Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Flit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairyworld14 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Just tell him to go away & leave you alone because as much he would like to be your friend , he isn't . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scousemouse Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Do like my old mum used too. Put on a hat before you open the door, if it is somebody you want to see, you have 'just come in' if not, you are 'just going out'!!!!!! Worked well........! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maz3 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Or say, 'I've got the bath running' or 'I'm just on t'phone'. If it's god botherers, say 'We're all satanists here' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossyrooney Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 My old grandad used to say "well, I'm at ooerm and I wish everybody else was". Grumpy maybe ... but effective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonny Rotten Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 This is a delicate balance between not insulting or hurting someone's feelings, but making sure that they don't keep calling. A flatmate seems to have no social life of his own, and is a little odd behaviourally (who isn't, I suppose), he talks about random things in a way that would, I'm afraid, embarrass me if being out with him socially (as he suggests), or introducing him to personal friends or work colleagues. He calls to my flat a few times a week, and hints at inviting himself out to meet the above, or suggesting that we might attend various local events etc. But he rambles for ages and doesn't realise that he is outstaying his welcome, despite increasing hints and my increasing disinterest. The truth, ugly as some of it is after much soul-searching, is that I just don't want to be his friend/mentor/whatever. I feel bad for him as he is lonely, but simply enjoy chilling alone after work sometimes, not indulging this guy's every whim. He doesn't work, and so focuses his time pondering about things he likes, or some that he hates. We're very different in nature and only a few things overlap, such as films etc, we're different ages and I have kids, he doesn't, I'm not sure when he last had a girlfriend. But it's getting to the point of me feeling tense when I hear the stairs. I am outspoken generally, but not unnecessarily cruel, and so am finding it difficult to just tell this guy where to go. I shouldn't have to 'hide' or pretend that I was asleep? So... what to do? Just ignore the door, as I have lately done? Always two sides to a story http://tinyurl.com/o2lsc2f Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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