DaBouncer Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 Originally posted by Andy78 Ok under the influence again. here goes. Have been in many a relationshiip, But my main one was for 3 years. To cut a long story short, she ended up having an affair with my best mate. Which i found out myself one day and it all got very messy. Spent a year being bitter and twisted and not talking to either of them. One day realised that they just fell in love. Which happens. bit of a bugger when its your best mate and girlfriend, but it happens. And realised that by holding a grudge, the only person that got upset was me. You have to let go of these things sometimes, not for the sake of being nice, but for the sake of saving yourself. These days I get on with them both very well. Consider them very good friends again. Have moved on from those days, and am a happy camper again. Moral of the story is never hold a grudge. the only person that will be hurt by it is youself. Never hurt yourself more than is needed. peace! That's all well and good andy but they should have had enough respect to tell you to your face about their feelings before going behind your back. If they had enough guts and respect then they would have kept their hands off each other until having spoken to you. If you're happy in your situation then all power to you... however me.... I'd never be able to just get on with them like that ever again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 Originally posted by Andy78 Moral of the story is never hold a grudge. the only person that will be hurt by it is youself. Never hurt yourself more than is needed. Totally true .. whatever feelings (negative or positive) you give out to other people .. they always affect you more. So you should always try and avoid holding on to 'negative' feelings for other people .. but that doesn't mean you have to be bussom buddies with people who have betrayed you or let you down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy78 Posted February 22, 2004 Author Share Posted February 22, 2004 To be honest, im not exactly best mates with them, as I don't see them all that often now, because they live quite far away. My other friends stil refuse to talk to them though. I do agree, that they didn't deal with the situation at all well. However, it was about 5 years ago now, so it really is in the past and should stay that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidla Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 Originally posted by DaBouncer I'd never be able to just get on with them like that ever again. Do you still hold a grudge? I totally agree, what is the point holding grudges against people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pauly Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 Easier said than done sometimes Sid. Example: Someone has contributed to the breakup of your marriage by convincing your wife to leave you. Would you be able to forgive either of them completely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidla Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 Most certainly, it's in my nature. It's not always a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy78 Posted February 23, 2004 Author Share Posted February 23, 2004 I do hold grudges sometimes, if i've been upset enough. I'm just glad I can let go of them eventually. If this wasn't the case, I think i'd be a very bitter person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bedhead Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 hmm i did previously write in here that i was happy being single and not bothered about being in a relationship - anyhow one weekend later and my view has changed! i met someone i really like who now appears to be unobtainable in retrospect i guess i've just got used to being single (nearly 3 years) and having lots of 'randoms' - don't kid yourself that it's cool being single cuz it catches up with you eventually! well it has for me anyhow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelblade Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 I thought I didn't hold grudges but have realised that I do. As some of you know I caught my boyfriend cheating on just before Christmas. I have tried since then to make it work but this morning I faced up to it and we have called it a day. I can't trust him anymore or forgive him. I'm gutted to be honest and am now on that dark and lonely road of breakup time. I hope it doesn't hurt forever. We were together 7 years, it's a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy78 Posted February 23, 2004 Author Share Posted February 23, 2004 I don't think thats holding a grudge really steelblade. Losing trust in someone, really can kill a relationship. Trust is the most important thing, and takes a long time to build. After what happened with me, I started doubting everyone for a while. When you lose trust in someone you trust more than yourself, it's really hard to find faith in anyone again. After time you do though. As hard as it may be for you now, it wont hurt forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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