TheBlueDragon Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Hi people. For years I've been trying to get a nice girlfriend and failing but I've always had my best mate to help cheer me up when I'm down. People find it strange that my best mate is a female and there is nothing sexual in our friendship and I've never thought of her in any other way than best friend. Well 8month ago I started dating a lass and it's been going great. She gets along with all my family etc and they all love her. But her and my bestfriend just seem to clash, I've tried getting them to talk but just end up blaming each other. I don't want to lose my bestfriend and don't want to lose my girlfriend Do you think it's possible to be in a relationship when your bestfriend and partner don't get along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyfriday Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Hi people. For years I've been trying to get a nice girlfriend and failing but I've always had my best mate to help cheer me up when I'm down. People find it strange that my best mate is a female and there is nothing sexual in our friendship and I've never thought of her in any other way than best friend. Well 8month ago I started dating a lass and it's been going great. She gets along with all my family etc and they all love her. But her and my bestfriend just seem to clash, I've tried getting them to talk but just end up blaming each other. I don't want to lose my bestfriend and don't want to lose my girlfriend Do you think it's possible to be in a relationship when your bestfriend and partner don't get along? Great post Dragon. Throughout my life I've had friends who are female and would always have said it's perfectly acceptable to do so, especially to my wife at the time. Society has definitely changed and the opportunities to form friendships with members of the opposite sex increased. My view changed slightly when my partner who works in a male dominated environment (and alpha one at that) regularly spoke about going for a pint with so and so, or lunch with another. I'm afraid my fragile male pysche took a bit of a battering! Of course it's perfectly possible to have friends of the opposite sex and if your girlfriend's objecting it's her shortcoming, not yours, HOWEVER you need to remember that we're pre-programmed to attract members of the opposite sex for mates, so the temptation to flirt or have one's ego massaged through such liaisons is almost irresistible..so these friendships should be managed carefully, especially if you value the relationship with your girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghozer Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Your girlfriend may see your best friend the same as the others do... You said that people find it strange, maybe sit down, and ask her if this is the case, explain that other people find it strange either, but reassure her that she is only a best friend and nothing would ever happen... She has to trust you, and I know it's 8 months, but in the grand scheme of things your relationship is still in it's infancy, and trust is still not fully built... If you have been friends for so long, maybe talk to your friend about it also, maybe not see her as much to start with (let her, and your girlfriend know this) and let it gradually increase with time.. The biggest thing to remember though, is never push your friends away, just because you're in a relationship, so many people make that mistake! But then the same can be said in reverse, don't ignore your partner for spending time with your friends... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Ghozer, his best mate is male Maybe the mate likes her too, or she likes him - keep them apart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrejuan Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Ghozer, his best mate is male Maybe the mate likes her too, or she likes him - keep them apart ????................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PRESLEY Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Hi people. For years I've been trying to get a nice girlfriend and failing but I've always had my best mate to help cheer me up when I'm down. People find it strange that my best mate is a female and there is nothing sexual in our friendship and I've never thought of her in any other way than best friend. Well 8month ago I started dating a lass and it's been going great. She gets along with all my family etc and they all love her. But her and my bestfriend just seem to clash, I've tried getting them to talk but just end up blaming each other. I don't want to lose my bestfriend and don't want to lose my girlfriend Do you think it's possible to be in a relationship when your bestfriend and partner don't get along? Your best friend might like you more than you think! watch out for the green eyed monster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natjack Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Ghozer, his best mate is male Maybe the mate likes her too, or she likes him - keep them apart the OP definitely says his best mate is female. It sounds like it's the usual jealousy between best mate and girlfriend, made worse in this case by them both being the same sex. Understandable, but don't let your friend be pushed out, the girlfriend might not last, friends usually do. Good advice from Ghozer, but don't make it too obvious to the friend that you're spending less time with her, just let it happen naturally, and try to keep the two of them apart as much as possible. Like you would if your mate was another bloke, there always seems to be friction, especially if the best mate doesn't have a partner of their own at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Ghozer, his best mate is male Maybe the mate likes her too, or she likes him - keep them apart "People find it strange that my best mate is a female" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iansheff Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Ghozer, his best mate is male Maybe the mate likes her too, or she likes him - keep them apart No she isn't. Hi people. For years I've been trying to get a nice girlfriend and failing but I've always had my best mate to help cheer me up when I'm down. People find it strange that my best mate is a female and there is nothing sexual in our friendship and I've never thought of her in any other way than best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 This brings to mind the conversation in 'When Harry Met Sally' when Harry states: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. Regards Doom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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