Clown Shoes Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 My best friends girlfriend doesn't particularly like me as i am the last remaining thing from his past that she hasnt been able to change yet. I am the last remanence of his past life that involved any fun. So he goes football & the pub with me & he takes her to the cinema & restaurants. Pretty simple really. If i see her im pleasant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 ok my mistake:blush: don't rub it in:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 ok my mistake:blush: don't rub it in:cool: Bad posting cressida ... I tend to read the thread first, it helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bypassblade Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Blue dragon funnily enough my best mate is female I love her to bits, as a friend and that's where it ends. We will phone each other and be on phone for an hour or so, my wife is not bothered in the slightest as she knows it's just friendship. Talk to you're GF & BM & explain to them one you value her friendship, and 2 to the GF emphasise it's platonic. Best of luck with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny_Boy Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Is your best friend attractive? Serious question as that can cause problems. My girlfriend has a few male friends and I found that seriously hard to deal with at first, but I was certainly more threatened by the guys who where better looking. Forgot to add that other peoples opinions can screw things up as well I know they shouldn't but they do. I had my male friends saying they couldn't believe I allowed her to go to the pub with her male friends (as if I am her boss and could stop her anyway) but they put doubts in my mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boyfriday Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 don't rub it in:cool: Funny, you weren't saying that to Rampent in the wee small hours last night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nem88 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 There’s a few ways people can clash – are they clashing in person or taking it out on you speaking to you alone? Or both? If it’s in person, then the obvious answer is keeping them apart when possible – which is a mine field of its own. First thing to understand is they are both having natural emotional responses to the situation. Sounds like you spent a lot of time with your best friend before, and now you are in a relationship you have much less time to go out, talk etc. Your best friend might feel like she’s losing you, she will blame the lack of attention on your girlfriend, preferring to think it’s your girlfriend that is pulling you away from her. The routine you had before is gone, and the changing factor is her. With your girlfriend, it’s important to note not all jealousy will be on a sexual level. (we) are emotionally invested and you obviously care about your best friend, connect with her and have shared time and secrets with her – your girlfriend will want to be the one you emotionally confide in now, she wants to know your secrets (that nobody else does) and she wants to share the experience of your interests with her. Now, this all sounds like a no win situation. You have to start the discussion to make compromises and also be firm in the fact the other parties will have to make compromises also. It can work without losing one, but no one will be able to have everything they want. First thing is to start discussion talking about how you feel, keep wants and needs out of it just take one aside (individually) and discuss how you have been feeling. It’s important to you that both are in your life? You feel like you’re being backed into a corner forced to choose between them? You feel like you can’t speak freely, when defending party A from party B because of the negativity? Ask how they feel about it (truly) and see if you can’t get something going from there. At some point, you do need to be firm (be sensitive). At the end of the day your friend needs to understand you have other commitments now, and your girlfriend needs to understand you need to make time for your friend - do realize they might never be friends with each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 ... I tend to read the thread first, it helps. Really? I've read some of your posts:o ---------- Post added 02-10-2013 at 16:23 ---------- Funny, you weren't saying that to Rampent in the wee small hours last night He's a bad influence on me:heyhey;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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