NANNY Posted December 21, 2013 Share Posted December 21, 2013 Well if Fat Terry ant got a omputer get him a bloody mobile he can peck at the numbers and tell Fag Ash Lil next door un ur Janet to get up a petition to save him they dont do owt else, Don dare do wot Blooming Alco said or im sending Turkey Protection League to urs:confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuttsie Posted December 22, 2013 Author Share Posted December 22, 2013 Fat Terry is dead. I have just got back from allotment no 44 and found that the pens where empty. I then opened the hut door and to my horror what appears to be our Terry is hung up with his legs to a roof truss . The thing is I don't think it's our Terry as our Terry was much bigger and without his head I cannot be sure if he has been switched by Gypsy Pete who did the deed while I was spending the most miserable afternoon of any ones life in the distant surrounds of the Owlerton Second division [soon to be third] football ground. I am going to take the barra across to allotment 44 and wheel our Terry the one hundred and fifty five steps home . I have trod those steps to be greeted by my pal for ten months and the barra wheel home will just put the lid on a crap weekend . Our Janet has had a fit and teld me to tek my ook and not come back. Talk about thanksgivin I can't do reight for doing wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootsBooster Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 All year four of us allotment diggers have been rearing Turkey,s for Christmas. We have boasted as to weight of our birds , Albert, Warnock, Sid and my very own Terry. The trouble is the time is near and I am just to attached to our Terry. He stands at my side evry time I sit in the hut gobbling away and even follows me when I go to the gate on the way home. I have been telling her on the settee not to worry about ordering one from the Market this year as Terry will be ready and waiting ,not only that but he has had a good free range carry on so will be better than all those frozen cage reared imitations . Another problem is how would the deed be done ,Taggy my mate says you just pull his neck while giving it a twist but I couldn't do that for Nuffields millions. Gypsy Pete says you should use a chopper as that is the most humane way but I have been told that some times the birds run around without a head for a bit and that would put me off eating our Terry once and for all. Deep down I know that my pal will have to go but on the other hand he may just see another Christmas. I think dynamite would be the most humane option. Failing that, keep looking after him and have a beef dinner instead EDIT: Just saw your last post (blame it on Gypsy Pete) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retep Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 Fat Terry is dead. I have just got back from allotment no 44 and found that the pens where empty. I then opened the hut door and to my horror what appears to be our Terry is hung up with his legs to a roof truss . The thing is I don't think it's our Terry as our Terry was much bigger and without his head I cannot be sure if he has been switched by Gypsy Pete who did the deed while I was spending the most miserable afternoon of any ones life in the distant surrounds of the Owlerton Second division [soon to be third] football ground. I am going to take the barra across to allotment 44 and wheel our Terry the one hundred and fifty five steps home . I have trod those steps to be greeted by my pal for ten months and the barra wheel home will just put the lid on a crap weekend . Our Janet has had a fit and teld me to tek my ook and not come back. Talk about thanksgivin I can't do reight for doing wrong. Look on the bright side Terry is now just a Turkey, a few pints and you'll be talking to him over dinner telling him what a fine fella he is, and if only he could lay bricks he could have built his own oven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuttsie Posted December 22, 2013 Author Share Posted December 22, 2013 Look on the bright side Terry is now just a Turkey, a few pints and you'll be talking to him over dinner telling him what a fine fella he is, and if only he could lay bricks he could have built his own oven. I will not touch a morsel from Fat Terry. He has already caused me enough grief to last til boxing day, When I arrived home with our Terry in the barra her on the settee studied him for at least ten seconds before proclaiming to all and sundry, [inc nosy sod next door but one] that " how the hell am I supposed to get that int oven" ,I replied that she would have to tec the shelves out, " how will I get pork int oven anall" was the tert reply. What a **** up all this has been ,birds are a bleedin nuisance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 Well I hope you get a severe case of Terry"s revenge and you are sat on the bog all Christmas. How could you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuttsie Posted December 22, 2013 Author Share Posted December 22, 2013 Well I hope you get a severe case of Terry"s revenge and you are sat on the bog all Christmas. How could you. I have not done owt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retep Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 I will not touch a morsel from Fat Terry. He has already caused me enough grief to last til boxing day, When I arrived home with our Terry in the barra her on the settee studied him for at least ten seconds before proclaiming to all and sundry, [inc nosy sod next door but one] that " how the hell am I supposed to get that int oven" ,I replied that she would have to tec the shelves out, " how will I get pork int oven anall" was the tert reply. What a **** up all this has been ,birds are a bleedin nuisance. Well chuck her out an cook fat Terry thi sen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old tup Posted December 22, 2013 Share Posted December 22, 2013 I have not done owt! Don,t come that one cuttsie you were an accesory to this fowl murder of a poor innocent bird,I reckon the Forum should put you on trial for it!.I reckon you put Gypsy Pete up to it and you both should be indited and put in the public stocks and pelted with turkey guarno!.What say you Forum members?. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuttsie Posted December 22, 2013 Author Share Posted December 22, 2013 Don,t come that one cuttsie you were an accesory to this fowl murder of a poor innocent bird,I reckon the Forum should put you on trial for it!.I reckon you put Gypsy Pete up to it and you both should be indited and put in the public stocks and pelted with turkey guarno!.What say you Forum members?. Stock! why bring stock up at a time like this . I smell a rat and think the Neepsend mob are sniffing around especially as Gypsy Pete has a relation from that district who wears a cravat and smokes a clay pipe. ---------- Post added 22-12-2013 at 18:15 ---------- Well chuck her out an cook fat Terry thi sen. I don't know how to turn the cooker on or the wesher and most of all the bleedin hoover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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