SpikeMac Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Thats great if your children always do as they are told and never do anything wrong. The realty though is that all children are different and no amount of explanation will stop some children from being naughty. If explaining and punishing won't stop them from being naughty, how does a light slap do so? Or, are you suggesting that they need a thrashing? There is well established research that shows that most child abusers were themselves abused. Your violence towards children could have far reaching consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daneha Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Because you can, in theory, reason with an adult and such an application is usually not needed. When an adult cannot be reasoned with then the application of force to encourage them is sanctioned by law, but it's done by the police and not by other adults. I think you just made the point I have unsuccessfully been trying to make. Adults have the obey the law of the land and the police and courts are there to enforce it, with the occasional use of force. In the home the parents make the law and they are responsible for enforcing it with the occasional use of force. ---------- Post added 03-01-2014 at 17:29 ---------- If explaining and punishing won't stop them from being naughty, how does a light slap do so? What punishing, you haven't advocated any punishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpikeMac Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 I think you just made the point I have unsuccessfully been trying to make. No he didn't. He made an intelligent comparison between the way we treat adults and children. You've just been jumping up and down insisting that beating them is the only way to instil discipline. What punishing, you haven't advocated any punishment. I didn't. Others did. You rejected them out of hand. Why are you so keen to justify hitting children? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obelix Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 I think you just made the point I have unsuccessfully been trying to make. Not really. You seem to be shall we say a little liberal with corporal discipline. How many times do you think it's needed? I got paddled by my father twice in my life, and I can recall both events now with great clarity. Once was when I had deliberately broken my brothers new Christmas toy out of spite, and the second was when despite being told many times I put a cricket ball through the neighbours car windscreen. Both times it stung sure, but what hurt the most was the deep sense of shame and sense that I had lost my fathers love and trust - that was the main spur to making be improve my behaviour. Spanking a child only works if the child thinks they have lost something from you, not because they have been given some pain from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daneha Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Not really. You seem to be shall we say a little liberal with corporal discipline. How many times do you think it's needed? I got paddled by my father twice in my life, and I can recall both events now with great clarity. Once was when I had deliberately broken my brothers new Christmas toy out of spite, and the second was when despite being told many times I put a cricket ball through the neighbours car windscreen. Both times it stung sure, but what hurt the most was the deep sense of shame and sense that I had lost my fathers love and trust - that was the main spur to making be improve my behaviour. Spanking a child only works if the child thinks they have lost something from you, not because they have been given some pain from you. On the contrary, I was very rarely smacked as a child and I very rarely smacked my kids, being sent to my room was far more traumatic but I didn't for a moment think my parents didn't love me. Its sad that your father left you with that impression, but I doubt it was his intention. Paddled does sound a little aggressive though, it sounds like he lost his temper, which is never good when administering punishment. ---------- Post added 03-01-2014 at 20:33 ---------- No he didn't. He made an intelligent comparison between the way we treat adults and children. You've just been jumping up and down insisting that beating them is the only way to instil discipline. Not really you are the one jumping up and down and ranting about things I haven't said. Still no comment on what punishment you use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcoast Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Those parents who hit their kids should be thrown in jail,no exceptions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obelix Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Those parents who hit their kids should be thrown in jail,no exceptions. What's your view on those that chastise them then, as opposed to hitting them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 What's your view on those that chastise them then, as opposed to hitting them? That depends on whether you're just trying to be clever Chastise by hitting them, then they're still hitting them aren't they. Chastise in ways that don't involve violence, fine. ---------- Post added 06-01-2014 at 08:14 ---------- Because you can, in theory, reason with an adult and such an application is usually not needed. When an adult cannot be reasoned with then the application of force to encourage them is sanctioned by law, but it's done by the police and not by other adults. That's simply not true. If I tell you not to touch something hot and you won't listen, the police will not attend and beat you until you do as I've said. We aren't talking about making a child obey the law, we're talking about making it obey it's parent (or historically any adult). ---------- Post added 06-01-2014 at 08:16 ---------- If you choose to use the word 'hit' then it has connotations. It does, you're correct. The connotations are the ones that apply to adults, I fail to see why children deserve less protection in law. There are gradations of my making physical contact with an adult (to their displeasure) that no court would find as being convictable assault. To that extent the same standards do apply. You're wrong. People can and have been convicted for simply touching. Unwanted physical contact is technically assault, if it's a smack or slap, then a court would undoubtedly find someone guilty of assault. The interaction between a parent and a child are very different from the average interaction between unconnected adults. There are rights and responsibilities that are very different. There is no reason that there shouldn't be different laws to cover these interactions. True, but I don't see why the difference should include allowing violence from one party to the other. None of which should be used to 'hit' a child though. That is what smacking is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daneha Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 T We aren't talking about making a child obey the law, we're talking about making it obey it's parent (or historically any adult). The country has laws, most households and schools have rules, they aren't laws but you would expect the people in these places to obey the rules, school rules are set by the school, household rules are set by parents. Obeying the rules of the household should lead to obeying the rules of school which should lead to obeying the rules of the land. If kids get away with disobeying their parents its likely that they will disobey their teachers and likely they will eventually disobey the laws of the country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truman Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Chastise in ways that don't involve violence, fine. . Is psychological punishment OK? e.g. being stopped from seeing friends/playing with favourite toys/no TV/being sent to your room alone..etc.etc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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