Minimo Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 When my mum died she left her wedding ring to my sister and her engagement ring to me (female) My only brother had had our father's watch. My sister has 2 children (one of each) and 2 grandchildren, also one of each from the son. My brother has one daughter who has a son, who will be an only child. I am thinking ahead and wondering what should I do with the engagement ring. Who should I pass it on to? (I have no descendants of my own) We are a very close family and I would just hate to cause any possible future arguments over it. I would be really grateful for any opinions/advice, or perhaps to hear from anyone who has faced a similar problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Bourne Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I've not been in this situation, but I would've preferred that engagement and wedding rings stay with female blood relatives, and you'd pass them on to the oldest generation, so: One of the two rings to your sister's daughter and the other ring to your brother's daughter. Nothing for the grandkids yet Your sister can give the wedding ring to her daughter, you can give the engagement ring to your brother's daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manlinose Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 in answer to your question, if you want to avoid arguments i would leave it to the elder of your two nieces and specify the only reason she is getting it is because she is the elder of the two Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien52 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Sell it and spend the money on a treat for the family to remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel22 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I have to agree with Jason Bourne. Your sister should leave the wedding ring to her daughter and you should leave the engagement ring to your Brother's daughter. If the family are really close, it shouldn't really cause any arguments. My brother, sister and myself are all really close, it wouldn't bother me at all if a relative left something to them rather than me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minimo Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Thank you, I think Jason' s post is spot on, with good reasoning. I shall follow his advice. Sometimes you can be too 'close' to a problem to see the best answer. Thanks to all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salsafan Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 ... I would be really grateful for any opinions/advice, or perhaps to hear from anyone who has faced a similar problem. Yes, when my father passed away, I think one of my brother got the watch. My sister got the ring. I got some jewelry which was a gift to my father on his 60th. At first, I was indeed annoyed as my sister got the ring, but as my father said at the time that it would actually go to the eldest female and that I should not be jealous. I just abide by his wishes. It really makes me think what lineage and families are all about. What I like to set for the next generation I think is if each party is spoken to, and respected, then I do not think that you have any problems. Although I did not like what is being done, but if I am also to be a part of this family as well, then I would have to follow the rules too. My brothers also received other things which will ensure the family name go don his tree, and I always knew that this would happen. As I also do not have children or is married yet, my current will is actually split amongst my siblings. Until such a time if they are either doing okay, then I adjust the level accordingly. It is by %. If I have my own kids, then I would ensure that my lineage is looked after. I have yet to speak to my siblings about this, but this is the current setup. So, on your note, nobody should expect, but if you feel that your action will create a disharmony somewhere, your only choice is to make up that negativity by doing something extra to keep everyone in harmony. Ignore what I wrote before. I realised that your family tree shows that each of your sibling has a female. So at the moment, your brother's daughter do not have a ring. So it should go to her, as to make it fair. I thought that there are more. Sorry, misunderstood the information provided. You really can only look after your immediate family tree that you are a part of, and maybe the next level, but the one after that should really be your sibling's responsibilities. Don't think way too much into the grandkids level just yet. For me, my family tree is far more complicated, and the females of my family do bridge the gaps and actually also buy jewelries to make sure that when we all marry that we do have mementos from our aunties. It is normally the girls who give the girls of the next generation jewelries too. (By the way, if you decide to give the engagement ring to your brother's son. Then you must absolutely got to ask permission from your sister first. Then also consider whether to buy another piece of jewellry for your brother's daughter as well to show that she is loved. Or just buy a few pieces so that all of your nieces and nephews are looked after. I mean, do this much later on, and this is also a sign of your wish to remain cohesive and as a family too. If you do this, it also does mean that you protect the family name which you came from also.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Bourne Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Thank you, I think Jason' s post is spot on, with good reasoning. I shall follow his advice. Sometimes you can be too 'close' to a problem to see the best answer. Thanks to all of you. My pleasure Minimo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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