Have you ever been bullied?

[Daven]

Bullies are often unhappy people with problems, sometimes they are, or have been, bullied by someone themselves, or physically abused in the home.

 

This may be the case - but when I was a very scared and very sad 11 year old little girl having to go into the bullying environment every day for 5 years and at a time when bullying was not taken seriously and was considered as just 'part of being at school' I didn't take this into consideration. I feel no sympathy for the girls that bullied me whatsoever. I would love to name and shame them but this is not allowed on SF except to say they attended Bradfield School 1971-1976.

Being bullied has had a massive impact on my life.

I am now a mature woman in her 50's, mother and wife who is working in a very senior position in a high stress environment and I cope very well. But just occasionally when I am dealing with a situation with a potential for acceleration into an aggressive one I become that scared 11 year old little girl again. I left school almost 40 years ago but the bullying I got at school still affects my life. Even thinking about it now is resurrecting the feelings I had all those years ago.

Never underestimate the impact that bullying can have on someone for the rest of their lives.

Edited July 16, 2014 by Daven

[janie48]

This may be the case - but when I was a very scared and sad 11 year old little girl having to go into the bullying environment every day for 5 years and at a time at a time when bullying was seen as 'part of being at school' I didn't take this into consideration.

Being bullied has a had a massive impact on my life.

I am now a mature woman, mother and wife who is working in a very senior position in a high stress environment and I cope very well. But just occasionally when I am dealing with a situation with a potential for acceleration into an aggressive one I become that scared 11 year old little girl again. I left school almost 40 years ago but the bullying I got at school still affects my life.

Yes I can quite understand how the return of those past emotions of that terrible experience from childhood would re-occur in adult life in certain situations.

 

I'm not minimising the awful suffering any victim of bullying has had to endure, I was just referring to one of the reasons why some people bully.

[Daven]

Yes I can quite understand how the return of those past emotions of that terrible experience from childhood would re-occur in adult life in certain situations.

 

I'm not minimising the awful suffering any victim of bullying has had to endure, I was just referring to one of the reasons why some people bully.

 

I know Janie - but it is still very raw even after 40 years.

[janie48]

I know Janie - but it is still very raw even after 40 years.

I'm sorry to hear that Daven.

Some subjects relating to painful memories can be hard to discuss, which is why I expect Psychologists say it is therapeutic to talk about them, and why some people who have experienced bullying and other types of abuse sometimes receive much benefit from counselling therapy.

[hatter]

I was bullied at every school I went to and I went to several, as I moved home/town many times as a child. I was always the new kid and extremely shy and awkward- an easy target for bullies who were often a couple of years younger than me. It was never physical apart from having food thrown at me but those words cut.

I was bullied for my name, accent, lack of accent, not to mention how I looked, clothes and how shy I was. It was hell, but it did teach me to not give much of a stuff what people thought of me and not to try to fit in, in order to be popular.

[Daven]

I was bullied at every school I went to and I went to several, as I moved home/town many times as a child. I was always the new kid and extremely shy and awkward- an easy target for bullies who were often a couple of years younger than me. It was never physical apart from having food thrown at me but those words cut.

I was bullied for my name, accent, lack of accent, not to mention how I looked, clothes and how shy I was. It was hell, but it did teach me to not give much of a stuff what people thought of me and not to try to fit in, in order to be popular.

 

This has been the case for me too but it took a very long time - 30 years give or take

Those bullies have a lot to answer for but are why I always challenge and try to stop any bullying I encounter - especially in the work place but always at a cost - it always brings back all those feelings from 40 years ago- 'flashback feelings' I think they are called where I am at Bradfield School in 1971 and feeling scared .

The bullies on SF take their toll too.

[Chelle-82]

I got picked on because of my sister's learning disability, too.

 

I even got my nose broken aged 14 for sticking up for her, when the local bully began picking on her, and I stepped in to defend her.

 

I also got a lot of bother from a gang of idiots, where I worked some years ago, because they thought it was great sport to pick on a colleague who had learning disabilities, and I didn't think it was acceptable. The boss there was a word that rhymes with "losser", and wasn't interested in the gang picking on this young man. He far preferred to sit in his office with his mucky magazines. Sweet man .

 

I'm not at all ashamed that I stood up for what was right. Both for the young man and for my sister.

 

I'd do it all again, though, if need be!

 

The bullying didn't affect me negatively if I am honest, it actually made me into a stronger more confident person. Unfortunately I did have to do a lot of physical fighting, which is not something you want to see in young teenage girls but it was the only language some of the bullies understood! And I wasn't just bullied off of other teenage girls, the bullying came in all ages and all sexes! I was once punched in the face when I was 11yrs old by a 15yr old boy!! I used to get condoms put into my hood, I had a cigarette stubbed out on my forehead when I was 13 by a lad who must of been 16/17 at the time (he turned out to be a smack head later on in life). And I wasn't just bullied by school children, I also got bullied by adults!!! We once went to watch UTD and me and the bro was walking back into town after the match and a man in his 30's walked passed and called my brother a spaz!!!

 

It was unbelievable cruel, but even so after all what happened I didn't ever really feel the victim, it was always aimed at my brother who was the real victim and he grew up to be such a fantastic bloke who has put his bullies to shame for what he has achieved and still achieving.

 

I didn't mind taking the hassle I got because it meant whilst they were aiming all their attention at me they were leaving my brother alone..

 

Unfortunately though my brother still gets the glares and stares from folk but I suppose that's something he has to deal with, and he does deal with it brilliantly and even though its now 20yrs on there are still the rude and uneducated people out there who make him feel uncomfortable.

 

But sod em!!

[Waldo]

The bullying didn't affect me negatively if I am honest, it actually made me into a stronger more confident person.

 

Absolutely agree.

 

I didn't have a great time at school either. I was often picked on or attacked, and other kids would let me know I wasn't liked. I most often felt isolated, friendless and excluded. Looking back, I'm glad of it and proud of myself, how I responded and the person I've become. I'm more discerning, insightful, confident, self aware and compassionate; because of my experiences. It's not what happens to us, it's how we respond; that's what really counts.

 

But sod em!!

 

Are they worthy of you feeling any negativity towards them?

 

I feel (right now, probably not such much when I'm having a grumpy day) compassion and gratitude; they were my teachers, they gave me the lessons I needed to become a better person.

[Chelle-82]

Absolutely agree.

 

I didn't have a great time at school either. I was often picked on or attacked, and other kids would let me know I wasn't liked. I most often felt isolated, friendless and excluded. Looking back, I'm glad of it and proud of myself, how I responded and the person I've become. I'm more discerning, insightful, confident, self aware and compassionate; because of my experiences. It's not what happens to us, it's how we respond; that's what really counts.

 

 

 

Are they worthy of you feeling any negativity towards them?

 

I feel (right now, probably not such much when I'm having a grumpy day) compassion and gratitude; they were my teachers, they gave me the lessons I needed to become a better person.

 

Absolutely not no! that's what i meant by 'sod em' nobody cares.... let them stare

[Powerage]

I was bullied basically because I was shy and quiet and also had the misfortune to share the same surname as a very popular tv personality at the time, which gave the bullies no end of fun.

It all came to an end one day when the worm turned and decked the ring leader (not proud of it but glad I did it). I was left alone after that and in a way it did make me stronger and I have to say I havn't done to bad in life, and I dont suffer fools gladly.