Have you ever been bullied?

[Super Hans]

I didn't start getting bullied until I joined the forum.

[jfish1936]

I was brought up on a Protestant mission station, and taught to speak "upper class" English. As it was in a French colony, I also learnt French.

So at the age of 9, I was returned to Woodseats school.

There, it was obvious that from my way of speech and my knowledge of French that I must be a Catholic, and I got beaten up for that! Ironic, isn't it?

[star1234]

My niece is 10 and is the nicest, most friendly child who gets on with everyone. She is in her last year at junior school.

She does, fortunately, have good friends at school, some of which she's known since nursery but there are a group of girls that she used to be friends with who have formed a clique, deliberately excluding her, and they have started to be mean to her.

Last week, the 10 year old brother of one of them said she was ugly, amongst other things, and they all laughed.

 

She came home in floods of tears, which is heartbreaking. I know that children can be cruel sometimes and clearly don't understand the implications, but a comment like that can stay with someone for the rest of their life.

 

As a family, we are so upset, all we can do is arm her with the tools to deal with such matters, but it's heartbreaking to think that someone who is loved so much and so precious to you can be the victim of such nastiness.

 

It's worrying that things could get worse once she goes to secondary school, and judging by some of the heartbreaking accounts of how bullying has impacted on some of your lives, it's a big concern.

 

I was fortunate in that I wasn't bullied to any degree in school, certainly nothing that has had any impact on my life. I do remember having a strong sense of right and wrong though, so if I saw any nastiness, I would try to intervene.

I couldn't, and still can't bear to see anyone upset.

 

Please parents, drill into your children how nasty comments can make people feel, how they would feel if someone was to say something hurtful to them. How you would feel as a parent if it was your child.

As I mentioned, I know children can be cruel, hopefully most will grow out of it, but it's deeply upsetting when the nastiness is aimed at one of your own.

[Member]

Unfortunately the only way to deal with a bully is to give them a good pasting. The alternative is to ignore it and let it get worse. Bullies like nothing more than a soft touch who hasnt even got the bottle to grass. The thing they dont like is being hit.

[star1234]

Probably not the best advice for a slightly built 10 yr old, but thanks for the advice!

We've told her rebuff the comments by telling them that it's not nice to be nasty, and how would they feel if someone said that to them, and then to walk away and talk to friends who are worthy of your time.

[Member]

Probably not the best advice for a slightly built 10 yr old, but thanks for the advice!

We've told her rebuff the comments by telling them that it's not nice to be nasty, and how would they feel if someone said that to them, and then to walk away and talk to friends who are worthy of your time.

 

Thats fair enough. Just as long as you realise youre possibly setting your daughter up for years of bullying and abuse. If you can live with that then tell her to rebuff the bullies.

[Norseman]

I was bullied for 3 years at Primary school between 5-8 years, and 5 years at secondary school, the latter being King Ecgberts at Dore where funnily enough an Olympic gold medallist also got bullied (moderators please note no names mentioned or implied).

In the fifth year I was punched hard in the stomach and 'snapped', shoved bully boy up against the wall and despite my slight frame (I was very thin back then) lifted him a good distance from the ground by his throat which I also started to squeeze and I was dragged off him by the PE teacher after he was seen to be going a rather odd colour. Had the PE teacher not been there then the situation could've been much worse.

The following day bully boy was excluded from the school which is just as well as his 'mate' had spread the word around the school big time.

 

I've seen bully boy twice in 32 years since leaving school and both times he's deliberately crossed the road to avoid me, needless to say he's not doing so well in life apparently....

 

I was also indirectly bullied by a teacher as well and that to me is unforgivable - imagine your self esteem when that occurs

 

Funnily enough no one has ever bullied me again

 

Apparently bullying isn't tolerated these days, as teachers in my day used to turn a blind eye to it, yeah right, its just as bad as ever if not worse. Now you have to report it to the head teacher - when you can get an appointment, then to the governors and then to the education authority in the meantime your child or the victim has been beasted continuously and their mental health is in tatters......

 

From reading the threads on this subject it appears that the bully boys encountered were of a rather dense nature as if this is all they could muster. The two I remember from school were dense and still are having never achieved anything in life other than to probably bully some other poor individual or sharing a jail cell..

Edited November 10, 2014 by Norseman

[the_rudeboy]

When I was about 10 I used to be bullied by one of the lads in the group i knocked around with. He was a couple of years older than me and much bigger. One day I'd just had enough and just lost it and struck back. One punch and he went down like a sack of spuds. Needless to say, he stayed clear in future.

[spilldig]

yep... constantly for most of my school life, even progressed into college.....

 

until I decked him and it all stopped..

 

Yes that's exactly what I did and it worked too. No college though. We all left school at fifteen and went straight to work.

Edited November 11, 2014 by spilldig

[Bonzo77]

I know Janie - but it is still very raw even after 40 years.

 

I think what Janie is getting at is the fact that the bullies are just children too. It's hard to deal with adult emotions when you're a kid. I'd imagine that a lot (not all) of the bullies will grow up and realise what they've done.

 

I'm not condoning what they've done. It happened to me at school for several years and I still wouldn't forgive them today. But there is a reason behind their actions.

 

Adult bullying on the other hand is something different. They know what they are doing.

 

---------- Post added 11-11-2014 at 10:09 ----------

 

Unfortunately the only way to deal with a bully is to give them a good pasting. The alternative is to ignore it and let it get worse. Bullies like nothing more than a soft touch who hasnt even got the bottle to grass. The thing they dont like is being hit.

 

Unfortunately, I agree with this. I don't condone violence, but that's the only way I could end my torment when I was at school. He was much bigger than me, so I hit him with a stone in my hand ..........Nasty I know, but I can hold my hands up and say that is the only time I've been in a fight at school. No one bothered me after that.