Forum Poem

[venger]

So the poem is working and growing in size,

Steeped in humour and wit so far the replies,

A little surprised by only nine responses,

So start tapping kids and stop being ponces.

[saxon51]

The country's sport capital now it would seem

But not cos of soccer, aint got no good team

We've sports halls and race tracks and stadiums galore

And a sport with Canadians, and ice on the floor.

 

For those who're less sporty and don't like to sweat

Who's idea of fitness is walking the pet

Remember, when Rover wants poo poo, and barks

There's acres of woodland and dozens of parks.

 

And if you're as proud as a 'Sheff' ought to be

I'm sure with this request you're bound to agree

When Rover has squatted and done number twos

Don't leave it behind so it sticks to my shoes.

[saxon51]

And speaking of parkland and lush, verdant woods

So full of young children and yobbos in hoods

We mustn't forget, in our haste to complain

That its there for us all and we all stand to gain.

 

This city is greener, and this is a fact

Than any of the others since our clean air act

And this we should greet with a hail, hearty cheer

With a good pint of Stones, cos we've got the best beer.

 

But watch where you drink it, you know it makes sense

For the better surroundings you'll pay a few more pence

Cos cheap pubs can cost you the use of your arms

Whereas good pubs reward you, clean glasses and charms.

[Guest Pauly]

2 years since I moved back to this our steel city,

After 8 years away our town ain't quite as sh*tty

Peace Gardens refashioned with plush fountains upon it,

Where tramps can no longer drink, p*ss and vomit.

 

An egg box once stood where a new structure arises

Our taxes gone where? For guessing, no prizes!

Winter Gardens in plate-glass, steel, wood and stones

Though it still looks to me just like dinosaur bones.

 

The cleanup of Sheffield does seem in full swing,

Although some folks in Sheffield, boy do they ming!

My pet hate on the bus is when someone sits near,

And smells like they've never been washed in a year.

[Spangle]

There is in Sheffield, it may surprise you to hear,

a Golden Triangle, for lovers of beer.

Real Ale's what i'm talking, the drink of Real Men,

and brown trouser beer twitchers, with notepad and pen.

 

Point A is The Cask, otherwise known

as the Cask and Cutler, a real home from home.

Point B is The Gardeners, the Gardeners Rest,

on hot summer days its beer garden's the best.

 

The New Barrack Tavern, can be found at point C,

Completing the triangle. Are you followin me?

Now I have only one worry . That's what is the cost?

In the Golden Triangle how many men have been lost??

[Phanerothyme]

it's the empty seat,

no mean feat.

drunk on the bus,

next to us

 

we'll move away,

stand and sway.

while on he dreams...

splashing happily in alcohol streams.

 

nose in a book

reflected look

"not bad?".

"how sad!"

 

kids push past

laughing, one last

stop until,

standing still

 

on the kerb,

find saved herb.

then plough on again

collar up against the whipping rain

 

wear that path,

back to the hearth.

keys, open door

and drip on the floor

 

offspring springs

telephone rings

everyone fed

and off to bed

 

apart from me,

a cup of tea.

and up two flights

to sit and type by pallid light

 

so at my journeys end

regards I send .

from my brick ledge

in nether edge.

[Cycleracer]

We say our views as they come across strongly

How about talking abit about Longley.

A leafy place with a large hilly park

Where you no longer venture after dark.

The days still short, the skys are grey,

Theres fun on the forum where we can have our say.

Its hard to think about something that will rymme.

Wish i had the brains of Phanerothyme.

But he's the one to take the blame,

when i can never pronounce his ruddy name.

When Geoffs on i don't wish to pry

but did'nt he used to host Bullseye.

[saxon51]

This city's wide, its very wide

Some thirteen miles from side to side

With different cultures, creeds and races

Same ambitions, different faces.

 

So let's be proud of what we've got

Let's not put others on the spot

We'll integrate, unlike the rest,

And shout out loud, "We are the best".

 

Imagine life without these cultures

Sheffield dead, a haunt of vultures

Same old faces, same old voices

Boring accents, lot less choices.

[saxon51]

But that's enough of the serious stuff

Don't want to be known as a scholarly chuff

So I'll look at life from the lighter view

And add another verse or two.

 

Has anyone noticed that when it rains

The water never goes down the drains

When about these puddles you do complain

"Sorry pal, its cus o' t' rain".

 

Reporting once a faulty light

Out in the street, ON, day and night

The girl on the phone asked "Where's it at?"

Told her,.... but she weren't content with that.

 

"You need to tell me, what's its number?"

"Can't see it from here." still groggy from slumber

"We need it you see, so we know where it's at."

"It's the one that's LIT UP you gormless bat!"

[saxon51]

With a hay, and a ho, and a nonny nonny no

Its of to the Peak Dis-trict we go

Past leafy suburbs, fields and sheep

Up narrow lanes and hills so steep.

 

The reservoirs look good today

See how the boaters frolic and play

And what's that there up in that tree?

Why, its a flasher, and he's flashing at me.

 

So off we drive at speed a-pace

To find another, safer place

But what's that smell? The car it fills

Forgot Jack's travel sickness pills.

 

"Are we there yet," someone moans

"Want a toilet," Tears and groans

In a layby, full of woes

Eaten alive by mos-qui-tos.

 

Then off we go we're nearly there

The wonders of the Peak we'll share

A pastoral scene so beautiful

What's this? The bloody car park's full!

 

And in a voice half kind, half gruff

"Sod this kids, I've had enough."

"Let's go home and have our tea."

"Dad, I want another wee!"

 

Taking corners very fast

Thank God for that we're home at last

"Now thank your dad," the wife will say

"For taking you all out today."