Forum Poem

[saxon51]

Viagra, how I hold thee dear

My life is now worthwhile

Standing tall

On show to all

And strutting round with style.

 

My wife however disagrees

She thinks the tablets stink

She begs me lots

To wash the pots

But I can't get near the sink!

 

They cure a lifelong problem though

Which every night I dread

A pill I pop

And it will stop

Me rolling out of bed.

[halevan]

Outlook express is so very bad,

Severed connections make me sad,

Bt Yahoo, say do this and that,

But everytime I do, it leaves me flat,

So come on Bt, sort it out,

Or I shall move to Tisceli,

Without a doubt.

[saxon51]

Come on pretty_woman lass

I need some competition

Your task is hard

I'm on my guard

My fav-our-ite position!

 

So far though your thread is brill

Makes really magic reading

Its difficult

Not to insult

Especially one's breeding!!

 

I don't know many forum folk

But me you do enlighten

I've read their names

Followed their games

And sometimes me they frighten!!!

 

So keep it up, and don't pack in

Encouragement you're getting

You'll do just fine

Cos every line

Is perfect for this setting!!!!

[Phanerothyme]

another thread

led me here

we ain't finished

I'll get m'arse in gear...

[Zebra]

I wasn't here when this began

But now Im another addicted fan

The forum poem is long in verse

Another stanza couldn't make it worse

 

It took ages to read the previous lines

I couldn't wait to add on mine

So here it is, my contribution

Hopefully no cause of retribution

[Phanerothyme]

ka-ching! or is it ker-plunk?

I was thinking we were sunk!

but from the far end of the alphabet

comes zebra - he'll save us yet!

 

so tell me zebra whilst its late

the sort of poems that you hate

the kind of prose that sends you reeling

what makes you swell with feeling?

[FairyNormal]

I hate that sloppy, lovey stuff

It makes me want to vomit

I'd send the authors up to space

And blast them with a comet!

 

I much prefer the real life kind

The ones with grit and turmoil

The good, the bad the sometimes sad

The stuff that makes your blood boil!

 

I have been known to write a bit

The written word, I love it

But as for all that sloppy stuff

You know where you can shove it!

[Zebra]

I studied English Lit at Uni

Found the authors mostly looney

War poets make me really cross

With constant reams of total dross

 

All they write is dark and sad

Reading it just makes me mad

Give me any other rhyme

Reading it will pass my time

 

I've written poems in the past

(This one is my present last)

In the meantime, dearest Phan

I'm a lady, not a man!

[Phanerothyme]

the personal pronoun

of persons unknown

is bound by convention

to be under contention

 

a stab in the dark

may be good for a lark

when guessing the gender

of a (forum) member

 

no offence intended

apologies sended

will use "she" instead

in all my threads

 

diluted solar

radiation leaves me cold

put spring in my step

 

crisp leaves flurry feet

sudden nasal chill

and in between, shivering

[Zebra]

An excellent display of well chosen words

Another response would have been quite absurd

I realise you're human, of the same race

I'll continue my prose now, watch this space

 

'A city built on seven hills like Rome

But this is here, and this is home'

A show at the Crucible featured these lines

I cannot claim that they are mine

 

Imagine a gladiator here in our town

Muscles heaving, skin golden brown

Everyone watching, the girls and the boys

Can I have Brad Pitt, just like in 'Troy'?

 

The chariots would ignore all the traffic lights

Desperate to be the first at the fights

Parking at the Arena - a bigger joke

Imagine the jam if one of them broke?

 

Roundabouts would be a thing of the past

Chaos everywhere (with me probably last)

Sunbeds would have a financial boom

While sealing a cancerous, painful doom

 

Ponds Forge would be an interesting place

The men all in saunas (now me in first place )

I peep in the windows, rub off the steam

Then I'd be smiling, face at full beam!