Help needed re Tapton sch and Ponds Forge

[boyfriday]

Has she looked into getting a Life card?

 

A magnificent play on words Tess

 

---------- Post added 23-09-2014 at 13:36 ----------

 

Up until this point, I thought the responses were constructive help. Maybe a bit blunt, but helpful and constructive.

But reading this latest post makes me think there is a wider context. Is she on the school's SEN register under behavioural or emotional issues. I'm not having a pop, we just need to understand if you want good advice

 

In fairness, I think the OP was merely seeking advice on what alternatives existed for her daughter in respect of accumulating the required hours of PE, it doesn't appear she was seeking to challenge the school's position on ear ring wearing

[hyper]

In fairness, I think the OP was merely seeking advice on what alternatives existed for her daughter in respect of accumulating the required hours of PE, it doesn't appear she was seeking to challenge the school's position on ear ring wearing

I agree. But the post that I responded to, referred to her working with mental health patients and an assertive "are you understanding me?" statement, as if this might have had a bearing here. So I asked if this was the case.

[onewheeldave]

Here's a scenario.

 

Child does PE, having been told to take piercings out. Child is involved in accident, where ear lobe is ripped, due to earring getting caught on something.

 

The school has a risk assessment in place, which makes clear the risk of wearing jewellery. They go against that as one child is stubborn.

 

School leaves itself open to being sued for not following its own risk assessments. Any claim would be guaranteed to succeed against them, whether the parents have become involved or not.

 

Stud holes don't heal up in 3 hours - I had piercings as a kid - she should just do the lesson.

Here's a scenario- school does a proper risk assessment and insists that participants with piercings tape them up to prevent injuries.

 

Paricipant doesn't have to cope with petty prejudices, school doesn't get sued- sorted.

 

---------- Post added 23-09-2014 at 15:01 ----------

 

Some of your answers sound so simplistic, before I had children I would have thought the same-if only it was that easy to parent a teenager! Her ear piercings are part of her self made identity which helps her cope with what life throws at her. She will not take them out and i understand why she chooses not to. i however choose which battles to fight.

 

 

Does anyone know if there is an 'I never heard anything so ridiculous in all my born days' Smiley, I can't find it

 

As a few people have had a go at that statement, I'd just like to assure Cat70 that not everyone 'thinks' like that

 

Makes perfect sense to me and I feel a bit sorry for those who can't understand it.

 

---------- Post added 23-09-2014 at 15:04 ----------

 

I think the school policy is fair it just hasn't been enforced, enabling daughter to have industrial ear piercing put in, as when challenged about what she would do in pe she believed she could tape it up. I work with many young people with mental health issues and I am careful about which issues I tackle, are you understanding me? Therefore the best solution is to do pe elsewhere and try and get through this year as stress free as possible! Constructive help really appreciated

 

---------- Post added 23-09-2014 at 13:23 ----------

 

I have to prove to school she is doing pe, so receipt would be useful.

 

What counts as PE? Would circus skills count? A lot of kids who aren't enjoying trad PE tend to get on well with circus skills, and, Sheffields got quite a lot of provision.

[hyper]

As a few people have had a go at that statement, I'd just like to assure Cat70 that not everyone 'thinks' like that

 

Makes perfect sense to me and I feel a bit sorry for those who can't understand it.

hence my question, yet to be answered. Is she on the SEN register? There's a vast difference if she is or isn't. The former needs special consideration, the latter is just a teenage strop.

 

Knowing this will lead to constructive criticism and/or solutions

[Jomie]

i however choose which battles to fight.

You ought not to have to choose this battle to fight. Your child should not expect this of you either. She is showing you no respect or kindness by putting you in this situation. The business about these earrings being part of her identity and helping her cope with life are spurious to say the least, unless she has issues with her mental health. From what you have described, the impression is given that she puts herself before anyone else and that is a problem that will pursue her in life if you do not do something about it. I hope it is not too late.

[Plain Talker]

Some of your answers sound so simplistic, before I had children I would have thought the same-if only it was that easy to parent a teenager! Her ear piercings are part of her self made identity which helps her cope with what life throws at her. She will not take them out and i understand why she chooses not to. i however choose which battles to fight.

 

So by that token, if she removes her piercings for safety's sake,during the 40 minutes of the lesson, she somehow stops being "Penelope"? (name plucked out of thin air, to avoid naming the child)

 

How does that work then? how does she remember where her piercing holes are in relation to herself, for the five minutes or so that the piercings are out whilst she changes the earring/ nose ring,/ brow piercing?

 

I changed the nose ring I have yesterday evening, as the silver ring that was in at the time was starting to look tarnished and tatty. I changed it over for a new, colourful, titanium one.

 

I didn't stop being me, whilst I had the piercing out. I didn't forget my identity, or feel any less worthy about myself during that time. I got on with the job of taking the old nose ring out, and putting the new one in, a short while later.

 

I would be having a stern word with myself and with my child, and explaining to her that, if the school says that piercings have to be taken out, for the sake of safety, during a PE lesson, then the piercings get taken out, no ifs, no buts. And if she doesn't remove them, as per the school rules/ perfectly reasonable and understandable request from the teachers/ school to remove them for the duration of the lesson, not only would she be doing the detentions for disobedience at school lesson, but she's be doing detention in her room, too, grounded till she understood why that particular rule is in place, and why the safety aspect makes it a very reasonable rule.

[bluecanary]

Can't help but feel for the OP here. She has posted a reasonably innocuous query relating to fitness classes for young people in Sheffield and has instead received a tirade of criticism for her parenting skills!

 

My personal belief is that school rules are there for a reason and should be respected by all unless these is a good reason otherwise, but perhaps the reaction on here today has been a little unsympathetic? It's definitely a deterrent for people asking for advice on here (something that I have gratefully received many times on a variety of subjects) if all they can expect is criticism!

[Plain Talker]

Can't help but feel for the OP here. She has posted a reasonably innocuous query relating to fitness classes for young people in Sheffield and has instead received a tirade of criticism for her parenting skills!

 

My personal belief is that school rules are there for a reason and should be respected by all unless these is a good reason otherwise, but perhaps the reaction on here today has been a little unsympathetic? It's definitely a deterrent for people asking for advice on here (something that I have gratefully received many times on a variety of subjects) if all they can expect is criticism!

 

as I said in my comments, above, that particular school rule is a perfectly reasonable rule, as laid out in my reasons, in my post (safety etc) the staff don't make a rule like that particular one up just to pique that particular child, or just for the sake of having a petty rule, or that they happen to have a dislike or a phobia about pierced ears/ pierced noses.

 

That rule is there for the safety of the child, and the safety of others.

 

if the rule had been "The outer wall of the chimney stack is out of bounds for climbing" there would probably still be parents griping that "My little peregrine wanted to climb the chimney wall at school and the beastly teachers put him in detention for attempting to scale the wall...How DARE they!"

[onewheeldave]

as I said in my comments, above, that particular school rule is a perfectly reasonable rule...

 

No it's not. Just as in most other physical activites, taping up the ear to prevent injuries is very reasonable- why are the school not allowing it?

[Bludragonfly]

Some of your answers sound so simplistic, before I had children I would have thought the same-if only it was that easy to parent a teenager! Her ear piercings are part of her self made identity which helps her cope with what life throws at her. She will not take them out and i understand why she chooses not to. i however choose which battles to fight.

 

I didn't know what industrial ear piercings were but after a google search I can understand why the school would deem them a H&S risk for PE. As a parent I am sure you are concerned about your daughter's wellbeing which will include minimising the risk of physical injury as much as emotional feelings - yes, it is a balance and you obviously take the latter very seriously. I suggest you stop pandering to your daughter's whims and consider her physical wellbeing and risk of injury just as seriously. Doing PE with her friends and not being singled out as different (by being removed from PE) will be good for her emotional health - as will knowing that there are boundaries to your love and that rules have to be followed.

 

 

I think you need to start being a parent not a friend it is a school rule and unfortunately through life we all have to live with rules we don't like, I think she needs to learn rules are rules and to abide by them.

 

A teenager needs to understand that rules need to be followed. Soon she will be leaving school and will have rules to follow as an adult in a workplace - maybe different rules but rules still the same.

 

 

No it's not. Just as in most other physical activites, taping up the ear to prevent injuries is very reasonable- why are the school not allowing it?

 

Because taping the ears does not remove the risk altogether and as an Academy (private) school they will feel the additional responsibility of not having the Local Authority behind them. They may even have renewed their insurance policy and it might be a requirement that ear-rings are removed.

 

 

IF you do remove your daughter for PE it will be interesting to see what they record the absence from school as - especially as the absence from school will mean that, on paper, she is late back for the afternoon session. IF you do continue with this and remove your daughter you need to know what symbol/letter will be put onto the afternoon class register. This is a legal document and must be accurate - the symbol/letters used are set down by law and each has a description of when it will be used. This is important because if the school marks your daughter as 'present' for the afternoon session when she hasn't yet returned to school they will be breaking the law. If she doesn't attend school by the time the register is closed (say 5 mins after the start of the afternoon 1st lesson) she cannot be given a L for a late mark. It should be recorded as U for absent unless the school agree that the requirements for educated / off site or participating in a sporting activity approved and supervised by someone authorised by the school.

 

You need to check what will happen with the Register because it could have implications when your daughter is applying for further/higher education or work (attendance is part of the education reference that will be given)