Zamo Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 After the debate about whether the UK should withdraw from the ECHR and create it's own bill of rights, I saw today that a court in the US is to rule on whether a chimpanzee should have the same rights as a human. I was wondering what sort of charter our friends in the European Bureaucracy would come up with if they were to follow this lead? What rights would they bestow? A couple to get started... The right to bare genitals. The right to bananas without abnormal curvature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geared Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 I thought that thing in the US was a joke?? What are they going to do, let them roam free across the country and get jobs working at McDonalds?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zamo Posted October 8, 2014 Author Share Posted October 8, 2014 I thought that thing in the US was a joke?? What are they going to do, let them roam free across the country and get jobs working at McDonalds?? Allegedly the European Bureaucracy is considering an 'Affirmative Action' policy where priority is given to job applicants from the primate community. McDonald's is apparently ahead of the curve on this one and will shortly launch an apprenticeship scheme exclusively for primates. ---------- Post added 08-10-2014 at 10:46 ---------- The US story is not a joke by the way... link. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLASGOWOODS Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Allegedly the European Bureaucracy is considering an 'Affirmative Action' policy where priority is given to job applicants from the primate community. McDonald's is apparently ahead of the curve on this one and will shortly launch an apprenticeship scheme exclusively for primates. ---------- Post added 08-10-2014 at 10:46 ---------- The US story is not a joke by the way... link. It's a great idea! They would make brilliant scaffolders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosey Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Any other Ricky Gervais fans thinking of Monkey News? Posted from Sheffieldforum.co.uk App for Android Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barleycorn Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Allegedly the European Bureaucracy is considering an 'Affirmative Action' policy where priority is given to job applicants from the primate community. McDonald's is apparently ahead of the curve on this one and will shortly launch an apprenticeship scheme exclusively for primates. ---------- Post added 08-10-2014 at 10:46 ---------- The US story is not a joke by the way... link. I thought McDonalds already employed monkeys? jb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLASGOWOODS Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 I thought McDonalds already employed monkeys? jb No. That's Burger King...............Kong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 As I understand it, there's a small group of Rhesus monkeys that are petitioning in the EU courts at the mo, for their right for planning permission to build a small hamlet in the picturesque countryside of the Cotswolds. If the village of 'Charlton-cum-Heston' gets planning permission, it will be a key turning point as to the rights of monkeys and apes alike. EU planning chief, Ziggy Spangles, says that there are only a couple of niggling details to sort out ... the village Post Office/banana straightening facility should have skylights fitted in the thatched roof to allow easy access for Capuchin monkeys in an equal opportunities directive, and the nearby 'Car Aerial Snappings'R'us' emporium should also incorporate the 'pulling off of windscreen wipers' division for extra potential revenue from the tourist trade. However ... there is one other stipulation which so far is at an impasse ... the EU's insistence on re-classifying primates as 'legumes', in order to create sense and harmony with their previous rulings. Only time will tell ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLASGOWOODS Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 As I understand it, there's a small group of Rhesus monkeys that are petitioning in the EU courts at the mo, for their right for planning permission to build a small hamlet in the picturesque countryside of the Cotswolds. If the village of 'Charlton-cum-Heston' gets planning permission, it will be a key turning point as to the rights of monkeys and apes alike. EU planning chief, Ziggy Spangles, says that there are only a couple of niggling details to sort out ... the village Post Office/banana straightening facility should have skylights fitted in the thatched roof to allow easy access for Capuchin monkeys in an equal opportunities directive, and the nearby 'Car Aerial Snappings'R'us' emporium should also incorporate the 'pulling off of windscreen wipers' division for extra potential revenue from the tourist trade. However ... there is one other stipulation which so far is at an impasse ... the EU's insistence on re-classifying primates as 'legumes', in order to create sense and harmony with their previous rulings. Only time will tell ... Interesting stuff Alcoblog. I wonder if the village of 'Charlton-Cum-Heston' will have a 'Orang-sUn-Tan' salon, for primates missing the climate they're accustomed to? Although I would advise certain ginger haired species to visit their local Doctors practice and get advice from Dr Zaius, Dr Zira or Dr Cornelius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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