tzijlstra Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Marriage matters if both partners commit to it. The ceremony and all that is completely irrelevant and it should be up to the newlyweds how they sort that out. I do think we re seeing more of a genuine understanding of marriage, I have lots of friends who got married and none have got divorced yet, those that are not married but live together with their partner also seem to stay together much longer than they did in the 80s/90s in my opinion. This is a good thing by the way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I think Marriage is a wonderful Institution! I'm Just not ready to be Institutionalized yet........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 the rip-off culture associated with marriage. Mention the word and the price of function rooms, car hire, outfits etc all gets hiked up, with the accompanying emotional blackmail. Having a big expensive party isn't compulsory, it's an option that you can chose or not. ---------- Post added 22-10-2014 at 13:56 ---------- I might be wrong but I think that only same sex couples may have a civil partnership. I thought it had been opened up to everyone (maybe that was just a proposal). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronthenekred Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 (edited) the rip-off culture associated with marriage. Mention the word and the price of function rooms, car hire, outfits etc all gets hiked up, with the accompanying emotional blackmail. All human constructs that can be avoided and still get married..if you wish. ---------- Post added 22-10-2014 at 14:06 ---------- Sure I read somewhere that if you're not in a grounded, loving relationship by the time you're 45 the likelihood is you never will be, especially if you've been in previous failed relationships marriage/s, emotional baggage being the hurdle. Edited October 22, 2014 by ronthenekred Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommo68 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 (edited) Getting married whatever type, is supposed to be some kind of public expression of commitment and not as many might treat it; just an opportunity to get dressed up and spend a day with friends and fsmily, whilst usually incurring a great deal of expense. For many people the getting married seems to more important than being married and making it work. I am only talking about heterosexual marriages and relationships. How things work out especially after they have gone wrong for gay marriages is of no concern to me. Marriage itself or being married is fine if things are working out for you both. The point of marriage has gone, the social stigma of becoming a divorced person is now greatly if not completely diminished, and it was that at one time that was responsible for many unhappy marriages enduring as long as they used to. Unfortunately when a relationship fails and the couple are married it is almost always the man that loses out, with a few notable exceptions. When a relationship fails and the couple are not married men tend to not lose out quite so often but usually at considerably less expense. On those rare occassions when it is the woman that appears to lose out significantly more than the man do note how often the media make a fuss about it. Its as though we are being programmed into thinking that such a thing is wrong. Some people will rant on about rights and equality and reforms etc and surprise suprise they will be mostly female, feminists and emasculated men, or even worse men that don't realise they have been emasculated. But the reality after all their unwelcomed contributions is that on the whole men are generally not acting in their own best long term interests by getting married or making any official declaration like civil partnerships etc. Basically all these things, again in reality, whilst not appearing to, actually give women more rights then men. Do not expect fairness or justice from a court expect only the law. The laws surrounding divorce were made a long time ago by men, mostly married men, that did presumably did not want divorced women to be a burden on the state. Do not be under the illusion that having a pre-nuptual agreement will sageguard your present and future assets either, it might help a little but generally as regards the courts the reality is for most men that they are not worth the paper they are written on. Just make sure your name is the birth certificates of any children you might have it can make things easier in claiming some benefits or allowances if your relationship fails and in the unlikely event that you get custody. As far as I can determine there are no benefits to be gained by not having your name on the birth certificate. There is almost no such thing as an amicable divorce so do not expect one. IMHO when it comes to the end of a relationship there are far more female mercenary parasites than there are men. If you think different just look at how many men after a divorce are paying for the upkeep of house they don't live in but their ex-wife does and often with a new partner. Whilst they end up living in a property of considerably less value (if they even own it) and usually in a less desirable area as the home they once had. look how many men have to fight to even see their children never mind how few get custody. To get custody generally a father has to prove he is better than the mother and that she is unfit to care for them a woman basically only has to say that she wants to care for her children to keep them and create a little doubt about the father to stop, or limit, his access rights. Unfair, preposterous, how very dare I. ... maybe but in reality ...all too true. There are not that many times that I agree with many of the comments or indeed the decisions of most judges but the comment from the OP is one I back wholeheartedly. Marriage for men is outdated and really its only women and their supporters that would disagree. Share a laundry basket if you really must guys but as for marriage.... Ok just for Skinz Share a laundry basket if you really must guys but as for marriage .... run away, just run away it usually ain't worth it. . . Edited October 22, 2014 by Tommo68 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Misogynistic twaddle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANGELFIRE1 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Does marriage matter? I have only been married for 44 years, so I am not qualified to answer. Angel1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Getting married............ <the rest snipped for well needed brevity> . Bless, you were doing alright up to this point.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyper Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Misogynistic twaddle.yes, I thought that. And then I re-read it and thought of the instances I know from friends (of both sexes) and what is in the media and what seems to be the general course of events and sadly most of tommo's rantings appear to bear out reality. So, I'll summarise by saying it's not a nice post, but worse is, it seems to ring true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Too many people go into marriage with ideas about what they will get out of it, not what they put into it. I'm guessing this is why marriages fail Using the parenting FB groups that I do now certainly highlights this My auntie summed it up well : All these 'weekend dads' you see in the park with their kids... makes you wonder if they'd have managed to stay married if only they had done the same thing sooner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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