imabittick Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 (edited) Hello everyone, Im new to this forum, but have been recommended by a friend and from what i see i quite like it. Hopefully you can help with my urgent problem. I have been seperated from my husband of over ten years for over twelve months now. I left our private family home after finding out about another woman in his life, who is now living in our old house with him by the way. We have two children who now spend half the week with him and half with me to save him paying any maintenance. Before i go too far into this, i will explain what i am looking for. We are now at a stage where we need to get divorced, but he refuses to give me anything. I have phoned citizens advice for information about any solicitors that may do a kind of funding like the old legal aid, as i am genuinly pennyless since the move out. Citizens advice said that Howells in Sheffield was the only one that would give you free representation via some sort of government scheme. It just seemed a little strange that there could only be one if it was funded. Anyway, i rang Howells, and you guessed it, my hubby is already using them, so they cannot represent me as well. I am after any advice at all regarding solicitors around Sheffield that may do this kind of scheme. I am running out of time now, and feel very lonely at this moment in time. It really feels like nobody gives a damn. If the house is sold, mine and my kids futures i would imagine will be ruined, after putting a lot of effort in to making it into a home for me and the kids. He has now started divorce proceeding, with a measly offer of under £3000 to make me sign papers to say there was no wrong doing and that we both want a quick divorce. Well thats not how it happened, and as to accepting a bribe and he walks away with a house (now for sale by the way), i just cant do it. He thinks i'm daft. If anyone has any useful advice that could steer me in the right direction, i would greatly appreciate hearing from you. I know about the free hours advice and stuff like that, but they just seem like salesmen and dont care what the case is about. "Real people". Sorry for the long message but really really am struggling with this one. Im a single mummy and this brick wall is hurting. :( I dont know if any solicitors use the forum, but please try to guide me on this one. Thanks so much for reading this. Edited January 19, 2015 by imabittick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgksheff Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 If you are contesting a financial settlement it would normally end up with court. The court now requires that you attempt mediation before they will hear the case. You can get Legal Aid for mediation. Go and find a good service, with mediators that are prepared to give a good opinion as to how a judge might view the case, after seeing all the disclosed information. Confirm your eligibility for legal aid and get them to invite him in. Moving quickly gives you that option of selecting mediators before he does the same. ---------- Post added 19-01-2015 at 07:41 ---------- Has he actually filed for divorce? I thought that, in order to do so with less than 2 years separation, there was a need to cite adultery or unreasonable behaviour? Has he filed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imabittick Posted January 19, 2015 Author Share Posted January 19, 2015 Thank you for taking the time to reply. It really does mean a lot to be able to get information. Yes he has got a solicitor to get a divorce, as that is how I heard of him wanting to settle with a pathetic bribe and a quick divorce through a letter from them. As for the mediation, I never new about that and have made an appointment for later this week. Does anyone know what the procedure is for this process? I really feel alone on this and it's a horrible feeling. If anyone has been through this I would love to hear about what happens etc. Again, thanks so much for taking the time to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charmer Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Thank you for taking the time to reply. It really does mean a lot to be able to get information. Yes he has got a solicitor to get a divorce, as that is how I heard of him wanting to settle with a pathetic bribe and a quick divorce through a letter from them. As for the mediation, I never new about that and have made an appointment for later this week. Does anyone know what the procedure is for this process? I really feel alone on this and it's a horrible feeling. If anyone has been through this I would love to hear about what happens etc. Again, thanks so much for taking the time to help. Your chief complaint seems to be about money. How much were you hoping to make out of this? Is it his house or both of yours? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F. Sidebottom Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Why do you think the government i.e. taxpayer i.e. me should fund your divorce? If you can't afford to get divorced, don't get divorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Your chief complaint seems to be about money. How much were you hoping to make out of this? Is it his house or both of yours? Expecting a fair settlement isn't unreasonable. Given the 10 year marriage, it's most likely the case that any assets would be split 50/50, unless they were owned prior to the relationship starting or some other extenuating factors applied. it's entirely possible that the ex husband will need to pay support to the OP as well. https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/clean-break-or-spousal-maintenance-after-divorce-or-dissolution Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyper Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I'm not sure how to answer you directly, but remember 2 things, which put you in a great advantage 1. He is at fault for doing the dirty 2. He wants the divorce (I guess) Therefore he has a moral obligation to play fair and recompense you for his error and secondly if he wants a quick solution, he needs to make it worthwhile for you financially. Putting any anger aside, work out what you think is fair based on the assets you both have and how much effort you have both put into the family life (this latter point avoids him saying he earned more, therefore he should have more, but at the same time you need to consider whether you worked damned hard yourself) Be objective. At least knowing this, you have a target in which to enter any negotiations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubermaus Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I'm not sure how to answer you directly, but remember 2 things, which put you in a great advantage 1. He is at fault for doing the dirty 2. He wants the divorce (I guess) Therefore he has a moral obligation to play fair and recompense you for his error and secondly if he wants a quick solution, he needs to make it worthwhile for you financially. Putting any anger aside, work out what you think is fair based on the assets you both have and how much effort you have both put into the family life (this latter point avoids him saying he earned more, therefore he should have more, but at the same time you need to consider whether you worked damned hard yourself) Be objective. At least knowing this, you have a target in which to enter any negotiations It doesnt matter if the woman cheats or the man cheats. It doesnt matter what shes paid into the marriage either. Or who initiates divorce. A judge will usually award a decent proportion of the assets to the woman. In this case over 10 years it could be 50/50. And like Cyclone says, maintenance for the kids too. ---------- Post added 19-01-2015 at 13:39 ---------- Thank you for taking the time to reply. It really does mean a lot to be able to get information. Yes he has got a solicitor to get a divorce, as that is how I heard of him wanting to settle with a pathetic bribe and a quick divorce through a letter from them. As for the mediation, I never new about that and have made an appointment for later this week. Does anyone know what the procedure is for this process? I really feel alone on this and it's a horrible feeling. If anyone has been through this I would love to hear about what happens etc. Again, thanks so much for taking the time to help. Can you get a no-win no fee type solicitor. Have you asked around? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heavenlyarts Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Check out these people !!! http://www.yourmckenziefriend.org.uk Highly recommended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJeremy Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I'm not sure how to answer you directly, but remember 2 things, which put you in a great advantage 1. He is at fault for doing the dirty 2. He wants the divorce (I guess) Therefore he has a moral obligation to play fair and recompense you for his error and secondly if he wants a quick solution, he needs to make it worthwhile for you financially. Putting any anger aside, work out what you think is fair based on the assets you both have and how much effort you have both put into the family life (this latter point avoids him saying he earned more, therefore he should have more, but at the same time you need to consider whether you worked damned hard yourself) Be objective. At least knowing this, you have a target in which to enter any negotiations What is moral and what actually happens following a divorce are two very different things. The woman usually gains much more than the man. It is so iniquitous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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