brownie25 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Can anyone give advise I have a close friend who's son is a alcoholic she is on her own with him and she only works 25 hours a week and has to run a council home for them both he is on employment support allowance she is having to support his alcohol intake while they try to get him the help he needs to get him off it I know there a lot of us that think he doesn't deserve any help but it's her I'm thinking of that needs the help she tryed the throwing him out but she was having police three or four times a day to remove him from the front step any advice much appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
focemal Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 You could get your friend to contact ALANON, sorry I don't have a number. It is an organrisation for relatives of alcoholics. Where she can talk to people who have been or are going through similar and who can offer support, experience and hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crookedspire Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 This a difficult one and been there myself for him to come to terms with his drinking you must find the root cause of this desire to get drunk. He needs to be under the care of your GP and needs tests for his liver function to assess the damage. Things look bleak now but in time it will get better if given the right help. Its all well and good for people to dam someone for turning to drink for comfort but it can happen to anyone anything can trigger it for example a relationship breakdown, or in my case a death of a child . Whatever happens I hope it gets sorted out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julado Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 First of all you are presuming that he needs help. I was in a relationship with an alcoholic for 5 years. I made the mistake of believing he wanted to be sober....what an alcoholic says and the actual reality does not alway meet eye to eye. I got lots of agencies involved trying to help him. I enabled him to drink by feeding him thus leaving him with all of his benefits to spend on drink. Took me a long time before I finally realised that he never did want to stop drinking....and that I was just a source of food and comfort when he was coming off one of his huge binges. So...to your friend I would say....find out what his needs are. Does he want to stop? I would also say stop enabling him. Stop supplying food. An alcoholic will lie, cheat and do just about anything to get that drink. Don't get sucked into it...I learned the hard way. Your friend has to put herself first. I wish her well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhs1 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 First of all you are presuming that he needs help. I was in a relationship with an alcoholic for 5 years. I made the mistake of believing he wanted to be sober....what an alcoholic says and the actual reality does not alway meet eye to eye. I got lots of agencies involved trying to help him. I enabled him to drink by feeding him thus leaving him with all of his benefits to spend on drink. Took me a long time before I finally realised that he never did want to stop drinking....and that I was just a source of food and comfort when he was coming off one of his huge binges. So...to your friend I would say....find out what his needs are. Does he want to stop? I would also say stop enabling him. Stop supplying food. An alcoholic will lie, cheat and do just about anything to get that drink. Don't get sucked into it...I learned the hard way. Your friend has to put herself first. I wish her well. Julado, I learned the hard way too, but with a friend not a partner. I second all you say. It was difficult and took time for me to acknowledge that my friend was no longer the person who was fun to be with, sharing good times and bad times equally but someone who used my emotional support, time and money giving nothing back. "We can't change other people, we can change ourselves." and the way we react to or because of the alcoholic in our lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeaaron Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 A Sheffield based, national website called Soberistas has lots and lots of useful advice along with a forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glennis Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 First of all you are presuming that he needs help. I was in a relationship with an alcoholic for 5 years. I made the mistake of believing he wanted to be sober....what an alcoholic says and the actual reality does not alway meet eye to eye. I got lots of agencies involved trying to help him. I enabled him to drink by feeding him thus leaving him with all of his benefits to spend on drink. Took me a long time before I finally realised that he never did want to stop drinking....and that I was just a source of food and comfort when he was coming off one of his huge binges. So...to your friend I would say....find out what his needs are. Does he want to stop? I would also say stop enabling him. Stop supplying food. An alcoholic will lie, cheat and do just about anything to get that drink. Don't get sucked into it...I learned the hard way. Your friend has to put herself first. I wish her well. I have to agree with this statement. I would never get involved with a heavy drinker, they drag you down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PositivHypno Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 There are lots of services to help in Sheffield. Access SASS on Abbeydale road a specialist service dealing with alcohol use. they can also direct you towards any family support too. Online there are a range of services that can help you including Soberistas, already mentioned. There are also a range of private service providers. There is a lot of help and guidance on my website around how to support a loved one with any addictive behaviours. There are lots of tips to support and how to offer effective help try http://www.positive-hypnosis.info/enabling.html Soberistas is based in Sheffield but is a global support network. No everyone finds AA useful because they may not see themselves as addicts with a disease. Alternatives to this way seeing addictive behaviour include SMART recovery. http://www.smartrecovery.org.uk Hope this is useful. Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
briant33 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 This will sound terrible. She is nothing more than a facilitator. She has to stop!. When she stops he has no option to stop. Get him in to the NHS to dry out. They will give him 3 days. Then its up to him to keep of it. Cruel to be kind. ---------- Post added 04-04-2015 at 01:18 ---------- The three days will make sure he is stable with withdraw from the alcohol. After the three days it is no more than habit and routine. His body is clean, It is all down to habit. That is the hard part. He will need help to establish a new habit. Sports, swimming, etc. ---------- Post added 04-04-2015 at 01:20 ---------- You have to replace an old habit with a new one. Just make sure the new one is not booze or drugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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