jane91 Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Im not, Im not being a coward either but i dont see the point in upsetting him unnessasarily. I will however not see anyone else while were trying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charmer Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 He only spends £70 a week at the pub?...what does he drink?...Water?....I think you might need to recalculate that.... I just wonder if you start these threads to blow off a little steam or if you're genuinely looking for advice.....I can't make my mind up. From what you say, if it were me, I'd 'walk'....But that's just me.... It's difficult to walk when your knickers are round your ankles. Then in answer to your original question: No, he is not being fair. Not at all. That isn't the original question. Would you be taking the posters side if the genders were reversed? A man cheating on his partner whilst she was too sick to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jane91 Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) We do have a strange way when it comes to bills but he would do and has done exactly the same for me. He's also made comments like "if she can go out and go to a club then she can buy a takeaway tonight" He only turns his side of the duvet down, he never comes to bed at the same time as me, he left the dogs out with just the porch to shelter in the other night andit wasnt until one of them barked that woke me up i realised they were not inside petty i know but its those things that hurt. ---------- Post added 30-01-2015 at 15:25 ---------- That isn't the original question. Would you be taking the posters side if the genders were reversed? A man cheating on his partner whilst she was too sick to work. He may have been off work with his knee but he still managed to drive to the pub and back and drink and play snooker Edited January 30, 2015 by PeteMorris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mda03cn Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Perhaps he's not in the pub at all. He might also be having an affair. I do think in order to start with a clean slate that you need to be honest about your infidelity. Otherwise you're building your fresh start on lies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jane91 Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 He is in the pub as people tell me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanes teeth Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 And where were people telling him you were? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jane91 Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Ive no idea but i didnt exactly flaunt the fact Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halibut Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Jane, I've skimmed through this thread quickly - a lot of the replies have seemed pretty unhelpful. Here's mine. It sounds as if your life is in a mess frankly - neither your lover or husband seem much use and you know that your own behaviour isn't really helping anyone. My advice would be a) ditch the lover b) think long and hard about your marriage - if you genuinely think it's worth saving insist on your husband attending marriage guidance counselling. If it isn't, tell him you're leaving and leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francypants Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Surely marriage guidance counselling would only work if Jane is prepared to be honest about her affair/s. Otherwise any new start would be based on lies, and she has already said she's not going to tell............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanes teeth Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Surely marriage guidance counselling would only work if Jane is prepared to be honest about her affair/s. Otherwise any new start would be based on lies, and she has already said she's not going to tell............ I bet he already knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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