Dear Forum.. Should I consider getting back with my ex?

[Dear Forum...]

Advice needed- would you get back with an ex?

 

I'm currently with someone and he lives with me and my child (from a previous relationship). My child loves him to bits and so do I,

but he doesn't see things how I do. I feel as though that sometimes I give my time but he doesn't if I don't. I mean that I am the one who always does things first and if I don't do it then it doesn't happen. He works a lot and we don't get much time together.

 

Anyway an ex recently contacted me (not my daughters dad) and said basically that he would jump at the chance of getting back with me etc. We were together when we were young and he never treated me badly or anything, I ended the relationship due to the circumstances at the time. He always put me first and made me a priority, and now I am confused in what to do.

 

Do I risk what me and my daughter have already for the sake of someone that was once an ex or not?

 

I have no hatred towards my ex, he was my first love but I am confused as to what to do. My current partner I feel doesn't have enough time sometimes to be in a relationship where as my ex I used to be his priority and I don't think that would change.

 

So would you get back with an ex or are they an ex for a reason?

 

Thank you

[aliceBB]

Nobody on an internet forum can tell you what to do; only you can make that decision. However, it might help if you were brutally honest with yourself and considered what is in the best interests of your child, at least until she is of an age to take responsibility for her own happiness and wellbeing.

 

Just a thought.

[medusa]

I have a funny feeling that having the time available was, at the time, something that could happen because of your relative ages. Now you've both got lives I'm not sure that this would or could apply in the same way, just because if he's earning money and paying his own way in life then it's likely that he's spending the vast majority of his time doing that.

 

Everybody has rose tinted memories of something in their past and normally if you revisit them you find out that they aren't anything like as special as you remember them. Before you split up with your current partner in order to chase a past with lots of time and a fabulous relationship I would urge you to be honest with yourself about what was so good about it, whether that could really be recreated now, and why you actually broke up in the first place.

 

Nobody will be able to advise you really, but I hope that you find a way forwards with which you are happy

[suggz]

Advice needed- would you get back with an ex? Answer NO.

[skinz]

Advice needed- would you get back with an ex?

 

I'm currently with someone and he lives with me and my child (from a previous relationship). My child loves him to bits and so do I,

 

Have you or do you intend to tell the other guy? Would he still jump at the chance knowing that? If he did I would question his motives along with your own if you didn't tell him.

[El Cid]

So would you get back with an ex or are they an ex for a reason?

 

Thank you

 

I would say its more a question of dumping your present partner, would you do that if there was no ex waiting? If the answer is no, then stick with him.

[WeedNoMore]

You need to tell your current partner of this. If yu are even giving it more than a passing thought then you need to speak with him.

[johnnyeng]

Both need to sit down talk things through part of a relationship is you need communication you need to tell your current partner how you feel as he should tell you how he feels and if you still cant get an answer from him then you need to think is the relationship working just tell him how you feel and what you want in the relationship.

[Bodie]

So would you get back with an ex or are they an ex for a reason?

 

Thank you

 

This ^ You have more responsibilities now. If you are even THINKING about it I suspect your current relationship is not good. I would concentrate on today and try to repair what is wrong! You don't know what you have got till it's gone

[francypants]

I think you need to put your ex boyfriend right out of your mind. That's exactly what he was....... a BOY friend. Your life changes as you mature, you have a child to consider now and the young, carefree times of your life are gone. Everybody can look back to those days with good memories and wonder what life would have been like had you taken a different path. Within a relationship things aren't always as you would want but you can alter them slightly to make things more pleasant, the grass always looks greener but in reality it isn't. You say that both yourself and your daughter love your partner, so really there isn't much wrong that can't be worked on to make things happier ......

Despite what your ex says, he doesn't know what it would be like living with you now that you've grown up and have the responsibility of a child. Remember, people change with age. I would say..... Don't look back, look forward. Good luck.