cressida Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I hope you're not one of those who leave wee-i smells on the seats Cressida. Would I ever - I believe you've been banned for that:P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 @J's Mum the only thing that can fight loneliness is by not being lonely. Although that sounds elementary, it is actually really difficult for a lot of people. I have neighbours that decided to share a house to combat loneliness, perhaps that is a solution? Move next to you in Hillsborough? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minimo Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 You have to find out what interests you and just go for it. If you crave company then find an interest where you will meet people who share that interest. There are hundreds of clubs and associations to cater for all tastes. Have you looked at the 'Sheffield Interests Group? You might find something there that appeals. I've heard it said that you can be alone even when in a relationship, so I think it is very much a state of mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tzijlstra Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Move next to you in Hillsborough? I think both neighbouring houses are full at the moment, but across't road is vacant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostrider Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 And it's easy to say but harder to do' date=' il be at work all day but when I get home is when I start to go over what has happened in the old releationship, il remember the good things and the bad things won't seem so bad, then il get upset, miss the ex and the whole circle starts again and I don't want to keep doing that[/quote'] Dont do that - I have been doing that for nearly 3 years now. I have stopped going out, lost contact with friends and turned into a bit of a loner. Now, im just starting to think I need to get out more, talk to people etc. However, due to the last 3 years, I have lost my confidence, so its going to be hard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aliceBB Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Hi J's mum Sorry to hear of your predicament. Sounds as though you're a mum - are you still in contact with your child? Seeing more of him/her would be a good use of time, perhaps? Befriend someone in your community who's house-bound...help them with shopping or just companionship - even 30 mins per week can be a lifeline for someone who rarely sees anyone other than their paid carers (who often do not have time to chat over a cup of tea). If the thought of going out and socialising unnerves you (and I can see why it might), perhaps start by signing up for a class, club or course in something which interests you - yoga, learning a language, photography, whatever. That way the focus is on the activity, not so much on the relationships, and the social interaction is much easier. Having seen someone close to me wreck her life by drinking alcohol to try to combat loneliness and boredom, I would strongly advise you not to drink alone, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I'm soon to be living alone but being alone scares me' date=' how do you or others combat this?[/quote'] It may help if you explained why your relationship broke down. Specific details are not that important if memories hurt, but a brief synopsis might help with advice you're seeking. Personally I'm pretty confident so living on my own is a personal choice and now wouldn't have it any other way. The vast amount of ended relationships ended amicably and still continue contact to this day. The mother of my children is a fine woman and parent and we still meet up regularly to discuss their well being and future. Ex girlfriends are still part of my friendship life, even one that cheated. Going out and meeting others could be deemed as difficult a task as the prospect of living alone..be careful not to find solace in a bottle etc. Initially don't aim high, aim at things you found easy and enjoyable within your relationship..having your hair done, shopping, holiday, walk in the park etc. Expand on these and take one step at a time. Don't feel the need to replace a relationship with a relationship lost, start a relationship with yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obelix Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 And it's easy to say but harder to do' date=' il be at work all day but when I get home is when I start to go over what has happened in the old releationship, il remember the good things and the bad things won't seem so bad, then il get upset, miss the ex and the whole circle starts again and I don't want to keep doing that[/quote'] Get right back on the dating horse right now. I'm am reliably informed that Plenty of Fish and OKCupid are the sites to use according to the people in the office (got some odd looks when I asked though and someones conviced I'm now leaving my partner!) Get a pet. Something that will keep you occupied. Remember a dog is for life though not just for Christmas etc. IF you have always wanted a dog though this is the time to think about it. Volunteer. Scouting/Guiding always needs volunteers and they will run you ragged so you don't have a spare minute left if you let them. It is good fun and you will meet lots of other people too - improve your social circle. It also makes you feel good about yourself. There are many other organisations if those two dont float your boat. Oh and celebrate your singleness. You can leave the loo seat down. Spend all weekend in your PJ's. You do not have to put slap on until you go out. No ones going to moan if you dont do last nights dishes till this morning. You get sole control of the TV remote and no one - unless you get a dog - will know if you fart during Corrie. If all that fails come on here and marvel at the infighting :-) xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna B Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 And it's easy to say but harder to do' date=' il be at work all day but when I get home is when I start to go over what has happened in the old releationship, il remember the good things and the bad things won't seem so bad, then il get upset, miss the ex and the whole circle starts again and I don't want to keep doing that[/quote'] I'm afraid this is part of the process of a break up. It's like grief and something you just have to get through - but you will, and eventually the world will start to look brighter. Keep busy, look forward not back, work very hard at staying positive, and do some or all of the things suggested. Remember you are not alone, millions of women have gone through this, including me, and not only survived but prospered. Onwards and upwards. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim117 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Hi J's mum, as Obelix has said getting a dog might be a partial solution, though obviously not a decision to take lightly. As well as being company in the house you'll be obliged to leave the "four walls" a couple of times a day for walkies. Also you'd be surprised how many people will stop to talk when you're out with a pooch. Just a thought, either way hope things work out for you, I've been in the same boat in the past and I know it can be a tough, though hopefully temporary situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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