Why is telling girls to be careful rape apologistic

[truman]

We tell our daughters to be careful, act properly, and dress correctly when they go out, we tell our sons to have fun when they go out.

 

Maybe it's this distinction that's underpins the debate? Maybe some girls want to have fun like their brothers and not worry about being careful, acting properly and dressing correctly?

 

I used to tell both of mine ,one of each, to "look after themselves"....

[esme]

Yes I agree that is rape appologists however I'm more refering to this police advice

 

http://rt.com/uk/247901-sussex-police-rape-poster/

 

Where the police are simply telling people to be careful because there are some nasty people about they are in no way blaming women. The same way the police advise me to keep my doors and windows locked and walet and phone safe etc.

Again it's telling people to be careful, it's saying it's your fault if your friend goes off on their own and is attacked as much as it's their fault for going off.

 

It doesn't tell potential attackers not to attack them.

 

I prefer this poster from Greater Manchester Police http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-30111414

[willman]

It's putting all the onus on preventing a rape/sexual assault on the victim and not the perpetrator, so if they fail in this it's their fault they failed, they didn't try hard enough.

 

And the perpetrator is cast as some helpless person who just couldn't help themselves, they lost control, they snapped, and it's all the victims fault, the perpetrator is a good person really.

 

If the victim hadn't been there/been drunk/been attractive/been dressed nicely/been on their own/been asleep/been physically smaller and weaker than the perpetrator, then the perpetrator wouldn't have attacked them.

 

This is what we're saying when we tell people to be careful.

 

We're saying there are people who will attack you if they have the opportunity, that's just a fact of life.

 

And it'll never change, because all we're ever going to do about it, is tell you to be careful and blame you when you aren't.

 

We won't do anything about the attackers, because that's difficult, that requires people to have respect for each other, that requires people to grow up, that requires people to think of others instead of themselves.

 

They don't say wouldn't, they advise that you increase your risk.

I haven't seen anyone blamed by the police for not being careful.

But would you rather be told that certain behaviour has a profound affect on your chance of being attacked or would you like to be blase and do as you please in a carefree manner?

[Chelle-82]

We tell our daughters to be careful, act properly, and dress correctly when they go out, we tell our sons to have fun when they go out.

 

Maybe it's this distinction that's underpins the debate? Maybe some girls want to have fun like their brothers and not worry about being careful, acting properly and dressing correctly?

 

I think it's dangerous for both TBH. These days when a lads go out they are in the danger of getting drunk themselves, knocking into someone, saying the wrong thing to someone and then someone pulls a knife out or one punch wonders that are capable of killing someone.

 

Sons and Daughters should be taught how to hold themselves properly when they are out.

[esme]

...Yes we'd all like to beat boys around the head until they have respect for the ladies but it won't happen.

...We won't do anything about the attackers, because that's difficult, that requires people to have respect for each other, that requires people to grow up, that requires people to think of others instead of themselves.

It won't happen because no one will try, it's easier to blame the victim

[JFKvsNixon]

I think it's dangerous for both TBH. These days when a lads go out they are in the danger of getting drunk themselves, knocking into someone, saying the wrong thing to someone and then someone pulls a knife out or one punch wonders that are capable of killing someone.

 

Sons and Daughters should be taught how to hold themselves properly when they are out.

 

When some young lad is stabbed/mugged/assaulted are there posters warning young men about the dangers of getting drunk and not staying together in large groups, or do we put the blame 100% onto the person who has committed the crime against them?

[esme]

They don't say wouldn't, they advise that you increase your risk.

In other words tell the victim to "be careful"

I haven't seen anyone blamed by the police for not being careful.

That's exactly what the sussex police poster is doing

But would you rather be told that certain behaviour has a profound affect on your chance of being attacked or would you like to be blase and do as you please in a carefree manner?

I would like to live in a society where I can be blasé, I would like to work hard towards making that society a reality, I don't want to simply give up and say it'll never happen, I don't accept that if I'm attacked then it's my fault.

[Chelle-82]

When some young lad is stabbed/mugged/assaulted are there posters warning young men about the dangers of getting drunk and not staying together in large groups, or do we put the blame 100% onto the person who has committed the crime against them?

 

Oh the blame is definitely put upon the person who committed the crime! absolutely... And in all honesty, that's not always the case!

 

I've been out myself (back in't day) where I've witnessed one group of lads start a fight but then the other group ended it because they pulled out knifes and knuckle dusters!!! it was this second group that got arrested and not the ones that started it... Ridiculous...

 

Anyway, kids need to be taught about self respect and respect for others. That goes without saying though!

[willman]

In other words tell the victim to "be careful"That's exactly what the sussex police poster is doingI would like to live in a society where I can be blasé, I would like to work hard towards making that society a reality, I don't want to simply give up and say it'll never happen, I don't accept that if I'm attacked then it's my fault.

 

And neither should you.

If people get drunk it's their fault - if they're attacked it isn't. But being advised that by getting rat arsed you place yourself in a situation where you are more likely to be a victim isn't apportioning blame.(male or female,sexual and non sexual).

[RootsBooster]

It's putting all the onus on preventing a rape/sexual assault on the victim and not the perpetrator, so if they fail in this it's their fault they failed, they didn't try hard enough.

 

And the perpetrator is cast as some helpless person who just couldn't help themselves, they lost control, they snapped, and it's all the victims fault, the perpetrator is a good person really.

 

If the victim hadn't been there/been drunk/been attractive/been dressed nicely/been on their own/been asleep/been physically smaller and weaker than the perpetrator, then the perpetrator wouldn't have attacked them.

 

This is what we're saying when we tell people to be careful.

 

We're saying there are people who will attack you if they have the opportunity, that's just a fact of life.

 

And it'll never change, because all we're ever going to do about it, is tell you to be careful and blame you when you aren't.

 

We won't do anything about the attackers, because that's difficult, that requires people to have respect for each other, that requires people to grow up, that requires people to think of others instead of themselves.

How exactly does telling people to be careful put the onus of preventing an attack on them?