Why is telling girls to be careful rape apologistic

[Chelle-82]

Yes, I have 2 daughters...I’ve never had a mind to call their friends scrubbers. You sort of embody the whole issue of blame seeking...”scrubbers!, slags!, sluts!” Etc.. Simply because of dress style...and your targets are 14yr old “friends” of your daughter...is she confused?

 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm..... Me thinks you are!

 

I wouldn't dream of calling a child a slag or a slut for the way they dress!!

 

I use the term scrubber because i know from when i was her age, nobody wanted to be a scrubber!!

[SnailyBoy]

I disagree - I think you know it also. If you think a woman doesn't get attention from how they dress you're naive.

 

So, what proportion of blame would you apply to a woman from the unwanted attention she may receive from a sexual predator based on how she was dressed?

 

Let's say a grope on public transport.

 

---------- Post added 24-11-2017 at 13:06 ----------

 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm..... Me thinks you are!

 

I wouldn't dream of calling a child a slag or a slut for the way they dress!!

 

I use the term scrubber because i know from when i was her age, nobody wanted to be a scrubber!!

 

What's the difference between a slag, slut and scrubber?

[Andbreathe]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm..... Me thinks you are!

 

I wouldn't dream of calling a child a slag or a slut for the way they dress!!

 

I use the term scrubber because i know from when i was her age, nobody wanted to be a scrubber!!

 

Well yeah, she’s really going to understand that...slag, slut, scrubber..now your just mincing around...they ALL have the same urban connotations...

[Guest makapaka]

So, what proportion of blame would you apply to a woman from the unwanted attention she may receive from a sexual predator based on how she was dressed?

 

Let's say a grope on public transport.

 

---------- Post added 24-11-2017 at 13:06 ----------

 

 

What's the difference between a slag, slut and scrubber?

 

None whatsover.

 

I’m not asking what women should or shouldn’t be able to wear - I’m asking about whether or not you believe what a woman wears draws more or less attention from men willing to whistle / shout / gripe women.

[RootsBooster]

So why are women advised to dress differently to avoid unwanted attention?

 

This keeps coming up, but who or what is advising women to dress differently?

I've never seen this in any of the campaign posters.

 

Please ignore this post, I see know that Makapaka said it

[SnailyBoy]

None whatsover.

 

I’m not asking what women should or shouldn’t be able to wear - I’m asking about whether or not you believe what a woman wears draws more or less attention from men willing to whistle / shout / gripe women.

 

Then we're in agreement.

 

This ties a little into the wolf whistle thread.

 

I honestly don't know the workings of the mind of someone who gropes, shouts, whistles at women. To me it's neanderthal.

 

I'm sure they have a wide range of 'potentials' depending on the environment they're in.

[Chelle-82]

So, what proportion of blame would you apply to a woman from the unwanted attention she may receive from a sexual predator based on how she was dressed?

 

Let's say a grope on public transport.

 

---------- Post added 24-11-2017 at 13:06 ----------

 

 

What's the difference between a slag, slut and scrubber?

 

OK, if you want me to do this i will..

 

In my PERSONAL opinion and what i thought growing up and still percieve to this day, a slag/slut is a name given to a woman who sleeps around with different men..

 

A scrubber, in my PERSONAL opinion can range from a chavy lad in tracksuits sitting in the park spitting and drinking strong lager to a millionaire who doesnt shower every day and has greasy hair....

 

---------- Post added 24-11-2017 at 14:00 ----------

 

Well yeah, she’s really going to understand that...slag, slut, scrubber..now your just mincing around...they ALL have the same urban connotations...

 

Yes dear....

[SnailyBoy]

OK, if you want me to do this i will..

 

In my PERSONAL opinion and what i thought growing up and still percieve to this day, a slag/slut is a name given to a woman who sleeps around with different men..

 

A scrubber, in my PERSONAL opinion can range from a chavy lad in tracksuits sitting in the park spitting and drinking strong lager to a millionaire who doesnt shower every day and has greasy hair....[.

 

and a 14 year old girl who wears a crop top.

[Chelle-82]

and a 14 year old girl who wears a crop top.

 

A scrubber!! Hahaha

 

What are you trying to prove by asking me something you already know the answer to??

[sgtkate]

This has been an interesting thread, and strangely I find myself siding with the people who are saying that well meaning advice isn't victim blaming as long as it doesn't then turn into an 'I told you so'.

 

I agree with the gist of cyclones post about it depends on what the advice is and how it's being given. Advising someone not to dress in a certain way as it might encourage them to be raped really isn't ok in my mind as it's almost a neglible factor in any rapes in the first place and sounds far more like a way to blame the victim in the aftermath. Advice like 'watch your drink as it can get spiked', or 'try only drinking from bottles when in a nightclub as it's harder to spike them' etc are perfectly fine bits of advice as it's quite possible the recipient of the advice doesn't know that.

 

Basically it's all highly subjective, so perhaps only give advice to people you know or people who have directly asked for it, then there's less chance you'll sound like a rape apologist.